36 different kinds of programmers

[text] Authoritarian Terror Cell Asset Masters Student VR Chat Dev Has 2 PhD. All their friends are employed Hanitlbaen oLtside Regrets pursuing higher since March 2020 education Investment Firm Lockheed Martm Developer Rocket Telemetry One of 3 devs in the whole company Engineer Qmpfsecret clearance Devout patriot Actively targets CS majors victim of MKULTRA Made 65k in bonuses Has to pass a drug every 3 months Government Contractor Makes belowaverage salary Project ended 6 months ago gets paid Independent Game Developer Has 7 platformer games for 4.99 on Steam sells Legacy Codebase Programmer Maintains a 22yearold CCP Cybersecurity Engineer Active member of 27 extremist Discord servers Proudly steals Returned to weiterr 3 copies total per month 5 Browses Reddit Exmilitary Saudi Arabia technology Lives off Patreon all day e b L on behalf went to school on to work for a Gl Bill benefits petroleum K7 A company B ta. The Job Hopper Will switch jobs every 12 months gets a 20 raise every time . of the CCP company that knows what they are doing FAANG Engineer Has solved every Leetcode program Makes 300kyear doesnt spend it Will code after work The CS Professor Knows every data structure cant center a div in CSS Engineer on HRmandated Paid Leave ample evidence of sexual harassment on Microsoft Teams logs Devops Hasnt slept for 72 hours Linux Kernel Engineer Has a git alias for most obscure commands On call 247 Cant get another job because all they know is devops Knows not to talk about politics at work Doesnt even own a computer all homework is done on paper Contributes bare minimum spends all day on 4Chan critical bugs still underpaid Will get fired in 2 weeks Severe Aspergers syndrome Electrical Engineer Took one programming class in college 70 of their job now is writing code Data Science Engineer Didnt even major in CS has a Statistics degree John McAfee Wanted by federal authorities Had a chance to cash out early became a narco anyway Dies under questionable circumstances Laid Off Engineer Spent 10 years in the same job replaced by a new graduate anyway Asp.Net Dev Only knows C and SQL thinks every new language is a passing Left Unemployed Graduate Has a decent GPA cant write a resume Spent countless hours learning MatLab fad Will not touch a computer will never use it in their career outside of work LinkedIn Applied to 200 jobs profile updated ghosted by everyone Works for an insurance company AW AllWomen Startup 1.7M followers on Linkedin dilligently posting about toxic male culture in STEM Defense Contractor Contributes to development of autonomous weapons Python Developer Will never use another language Carbon Developer Language released 2 weeks ago somehow already an expert Will fervently defend Carbon on all forms of social media Minecraft Modder Will literally only program for Minecraft Eastern European Developer Makes 15kyear Spends 5 hours automating 5 minute tasks Disrupting Someone will do it anyway the market Will accept any GitLab ticket doesnt argue 177.3K points on Stack Overflow Has an office in an upcoming tech hub like Nashville Knows deep down Carbon will be abandoned by Googl anyway OpenSource AAA Game Dev JavaScript Dev Empornium Admin Schizophrenic Silk Road Admin Developer Worked 96 hours this week Never went to college started Expert in peertopeer data transfer Developer Wanted by the FBI rogramming at age 7 o y i . Only uses public WiFi and Tails Tries to interact with gamers on Website Ul hasnt changed since Started codin after they watihed Twitter gets flamed for characters Lives off Knows Developed TempleOS i . intheir game Adderal 171Js Has a the Matrix vy g e WO kS Growing F thats outside Burnt out e llection documentary Developed heir control by age 25 of NAS about them entire C harmanes L by Nexpo and Wendigoon library has 10 in their name Libertarian by