Webdev Memes

Storing passwords in plain text? That's not a security flaw, that's a cry for help. Someone out there built a website where you could log in as User A, casually change User B's password, and the system just... let it happen. Because why hash passwords when you can live dangerously? The real kicker? They're posting this in r/google_antigravity expecting sympathy, as if Google's AI products should somehow be immune to the consequences of Security 101 violations. Spoiler alert: even the most advanced AI can't protect you from storing credentials like it's 1995. The "Venting" tag really ties it all together. Nothing says professional development quite like discovering your authentication system is basically a public notepad with extra steps.

So Meta dropped $73 billion on their metaverse project, and what do they have to show for it? A bunch of legless avatars sitting in a virtual conference room having a Zoom call. You know, the thing we could already do with a $15 webcam and free software. The irony is absolutely chef's kiss here. They built an entire virtual reality universe with cutting-edge VR headsets, spatial audio, and god knows what else... just to recreate the exact same grid-view meeting experience we've all been suffering through since 2020. It's like buying a Ferrari to drive to your mailbox. The real kicker? Those avatars are sitting in a gorgeous virtual office with mountain views while displaying a 2x2 video grid on a screen. They literally went full circle back to regular video conferencing, but now with extra steps and motion sickness. Peak innovation right there.

You know how language learners are told to immerse themselves and talk to native speakers? Well, when you're learning JavaScript, the "natives" are a chaotic bunch of framework warriors who've been arguing about semicolons since 2009. Instead of helpful guidance, you get three different opinions on whether to use React, Vue, or Angular, a lecture about why you should've used TypeScript, and someone aggressively suggesting you rewrite everything in Rust. Good luck finding a coherent answer when one dev swears by callbacks, another worships promises, and the third has ascended to async/await enlightenment. Learning JS by talking to JS developers is like asking for directions and getting a philosophical debate about the nature of roads.

The MIT license literally says "do whatever you want with this code, I don't care." It's the most permissive open-source license out there—you can use it, modify it, sell it, tattoo it on your forehead, whatever. So when a dev slaps MIT on their repo and then has a meltdown on Twitter because someone actually *used* their code, it's like putting up a "FREE PIZZA" sign and then crying when people eat the pizza. The cat's bewildered stance perfectly captures the rest of us watching this drama unfold, wondering if they've ever actually read the license they chose. Pro tip: if you don't want people using your code, maybe don't pick the license that's basically the digital equivalent of "take it, it's yours."

Microsoft's "Stay signed in?" dialog is the tech equivalent of a lying ex. You click "Yes" and check "Don't show this again" hoping for a better tomorrow, but like clockwork, you're greeted with the same damn prompt next session. The checkbox might as well be a placebo button at this point. It's like Microsoft is gaslighting us into thinking we have control over our authentication experience. Spoiler alert: we don't. Your browser cookies? Cleared. Your session? Expired. Your patience? Gone. But hey, at least they asked nicely before wasting your time again tomorrow.

We've finally reached peak dystopia: even your terminal needs an ad-supported subscription model. Remember when you could just npm install without being subjected to a 30-second unskippable ad about car insurance? Yeah, those were the days. The future looks bleak when you're sitting there, existentially exhausted, waiting for Raid Shadow Legends to finish pitching you their game just so you can install a package that's probably deprecated anyway. At least the ads will buffer faster than your build process. Fun fact: By 2030, your IDE will probably pause mid-autocomplete to show you a sponsored suggestion. "Did you mean console.log() ? This debug statement is brought to you by NordVPN."

Frontend devs: peacefully lifting their beautiful, well-styled baby in a sunny meadow while birds chirp and flowers bloom. Backend devs: desperately holding up the entire apocalyptic infrastructure while chaos erupts, buildings crumble, and demons spawn from the database connections. That baby? Yeah, it's trying to escape too. The frontend looks pristine because someone's gotta maintain the illusion that everything's fine. Meanwhile, the backend is out here juggling authentication failures, race conditions, memory leaks, and that one microservice that keeps timing out at 3 AM. But hey, as long as the button has a nice gradient and smooth hover animation, users will never know the backend is held together with duct tape and prayers. Fun fact: The average backend developer has memorized at least 47 different HTTP status codes and still somehow returns 500 for everything.

Junior dev commits what looks like a security audit's worst nightmare directly to staging. We've got hardcoded API keys with "sk-proj" prefixes (looking at you, OpenAI), admin passwords literally set to "admin123", MongoDB connection strings with credentials in plain text, AWS secrets just vibing in variables, and a Stripe key that's probably already been scraped by seventeen bots. But wait, there's more! They're storing passwords in localStorage (chef's kiss for XSS attacks), setting global window credentials, fetching from a URL literally called "malicious-site.com", and my personal favorite - trying to parse "not valid json {{(" because why not test your error handling in production? The loop creating 10,000 arrays of 1,000 elements each is just the performance cherry on top of this security disaster sundae. Someone's about to learn why we have .env files, code reviews, and why the senior dev is now stress-eating in the corner.

Oh, the dystopian future we've been promised! By 2030, developers won't just be battling merge conflicts and dependency hell—they'll be sitting through UNSKIPPABLE advertisements just to install a package. Imagine needing to urgently fix a production bug at 3 AM, running npm install , and then being forced to watch a 30-second ad about cloud services you can't afford while your app burns in the background. The soul-crushing exhaustion on this character's face? That's the look of someone who's already watched 9 ads and is contemplating whether switching to Yarn or pnpm would spare them this torture. Spoiler alert: it won't. The ad overlords are coming for ALL package managers. Welcome to the monetized hellscape where even your dependencies come with commercial breaks!

Oh boy, someone gave the sales guy access to ChatGPT and he immediately built a "caffeine intake calculator for the world to see" running on localhost:8000. Because nothing says "global deployment" like a development server that only works on your own machine. The best part? He's proudly announcing it on LinkedIn like he just launched the next unicorn startup. Meanwhile, every developer in the comments is screaming internally because localhost literally means "only accessible on YOUR computer, buddy." It's like building a restaurant in your basement and wondering why customers aren't showing up. Pro tip for our entrepreneurial friend: before you revolutionize the world with your AI-generated app, maybe learn the difference between localhost and an actual deployed URL. But hey, at least we know he's consuming 495mg of caffeine per day—he's gonna need it when the devs explain networking basics to him.

The job market in 2026: millions of AI-generated apps flooding the ecosystem like digital locusts, all created by people who discovered ChatGPT and suddenly became "entrepreneurs." Meanwhile, the senior engineer sitting there with actual projects that real humans use is about as impressive as bringing a knife to a nuclear war. The vibe coder with their prompt engineering skills has industrialized app creation to the point where having genuine users is now the rarest commodity in tech. Quality over quantity? Never heard of her.

Remember when tech influencers actually knew what a linked list was? Now they're basically glorified clickbait farms telling you to "smash that subscribe button" while an AI writes their entire tutorial. The devolution is real: from teaching data structures and algorithms to "10 ChatGPT prompts that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE" with a thumbnail that looks like they just witnessed a server crash. The "back then" era had people building compilers for breakfast. Now it's all engagement metrics and affiliate links to courses they didn't even create. Quality content got replaced by the algorithm's demands, and here we are.