twitter Memes

Cloudflare Has No Remorse
Networking Webdev Security Debugging Cloud
12 hours ago 81.3K views 0 shares
Cloudflare Has No Remorse
The most brutal tech diagnosis ever: "Skill Issue." Cloudflare's error page casually roasting Twitter (ahem, X) with surgical precision while your browser and their servers are just vibing. That "Git gud" advice to website owners is the digital equivalent of telling someone who's car broke down to "try driving better." Thanks Cloudflare, I'm sure Twitter will frame this helpful feedback right next to their office ping pong table.

J Son: The Data Format That Broke The Internet
Javascript Webdev Programming Databases Frontend
1 day ago 66.8K views 0 shares
J Son: The Data Format That Broke The Internet
THE HORROR! You leave your API alone for FIVE MINUTES and return to find 1,525 posts about JSON?! The absolute TRAUMA of being a developer in 2023! Every time you check Twitter, there's another trending topic about data formats. Like, can we please just have ONE DAY without someone having an existential crisis over curly braces and key-value pairs?! The backend devs are screaming, the frontend devs are hyperventilating, and somewhere, an XML enthusiast is quietly sobbing in the corner.

The Newbie Asking For Help On X
Programming Webdev React Javascript StackOverflow
4 days ago 89.0K views 0 shares
The Newbie Asking For Help On X
Asking for coding help on Twitter/X is like being a house cat who wants to hunt mice while surrounded by apex predators. The newbie asks an innocent question, and suddenly senior devs swoop in with increasingly complex alternatives that have nothing to do with the original problem. Junior: "How do I center a div?" 10x Engineer: "Nobody uses CSS anymore. Try this React component with styled-components." Staff Engineer: "Just migrate to Svelte." CTO: "We're rewriting everything in Rust and WebAssembly."

Inline CSS With Extra Steps
Frontend Webdev React Javascript
9 days ago 77.9K views 0 shares
Inline CSS With Extra Steps
The Twitter bird (or any blue bird, really) first rejects Tailwind CSS with disgust, only to later vomit it back up after reluctantly consuming it. It's the classic frontend dev journey: "Utility classes?! That's just inline CSS with extra steps! I'm a proper developer who writes clean, semantic CSS!" *5 minutes of trying to maintain a massive CSS codebase later* "OH GOD GIVE ME THE UTILITY CLASSES PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING!" We've all been there. First you mock it, then you try it, then you can't live without it. The circle of CSS frameworks.

Rewriting Twitter In COBOL: The Ultimate Legacy Upgrade
Programming Git Frontend Backend
20 days ago 89.2K views 2 shares
Rewriting Twitter In COBOL: The Ultimate Legacy Upgrade
Ah, the legendary GitHub pull request to rewrite Twitter in COBOL! For the uninitiated, COBOL is a programming language from the 1950s that's still running critical banking systems and government infrastructure, but about as suited for modern social media as a steam engine is for space travel. The satirical PR suggestion is pure comedy gold—imagine handling Twitter's real-time feeds and media processing with a language designed when computers took up entire rooms and "memory" meant physical punch cards! The 17 thumbs-up reactions show there are plenty of developers with a sense of humor (or masochistic tendencies). Meanwhile, somewhere a mainframe administrator is breaking into a cold sweat thinking about the 400-column code needed just to display a single tweet.

Insecure Private Key
Security Networking Programming
22 days ago 86.6K views 0 shares
Insecure Private Key
When you mistake a celebrity's keyboard smash for your RSA private key. The irony is delicious - spending hours securing your system only to accidentally paste Lady Gaga's random tweet as your encryption key. The real security vulnerability was between the keyboard and chair all along. Pro tip: If your private key looks like it could've been generated by a pop star having a seizure on their keyboard, maybe double-check before deploying to production.

Sorry, I Forgot To Print The Code Out
Javascript Webdev Programming Debugging
24 days ago 98.9K views 0 shares
Sorry, I Forgot To Print The Code Out
Oh. My. GOD! The expectations vs. reality of code audits is sending me to the GRAVE! 💀 Top panel: The pristine, politically-charged algorithm that Elon thinks he'll discover in Twitter's codebase - a smoking gun that automatically deletes Trump tweets and bans authors! Bottom panel: The absolute HORROR SHOW he'll actually find - a cursed "isEven" function with a switch statement that returns undefined for 0, false for 1, true for 2, and false for 3. With a desperate plea comment "Please don't look at this" from some poor dev who KNEW they committed crimes against humanity! The reality of tech acquisitions: you pay $44 billion only to discover the backend is held together with duct tape, prayers, and questionable logic that would make computer science professors weep uncontrollably!

Are You A Bot? 🤖
php AI Webdev Programming
1 month ago 112.5K views 0 shares
Are You A Bot? 🤖
The existential crisis of modern programming in one tweet! Someone asks if you're a bot, and the reply cuts straight to the bone: "We are all bots. Some implemented with neurons and synapses, others with PHP. Arguably both are about the same IQ." Brutal takedown of PHP developers everywhere while simultaneously questioning what even makes us human. The philosophical burn is so savage it makes Descartes' "I think therefore I am" look like a casual observation. PHP catching strays in a conversation about artificial intelligence is peak programmer humor.

Elon's Flawless Twitter Profit Strategy
Webdev Devops Javascript Programming Debugging
1 month ago 78.8K views 0 shares
Elon's Flawless Twitter Profit Strategy
Elon's master plan for Twitter profitability is peak corporate strategy: Step 1: Make Twitter profitable (revolutionary concept) Step 2: Fire developers to cut costs (because who needs those pesky people who make things work?) Step 3: Introduce paid API plans (monetize everything!) Step 4: Completely forget to create your own subscription to said API (minor oversight) Nothing says "flawless execution" like charging for something you yourself can't figure out how to use. Classic billionaire move - break the stairs while climbing them.

How To Name Variables (Or How To Destroy A Codebase With One Rebrand)
Programming Javascript Debugging Frontend Backend
1 month ago 95.2K views 0 shares
How To Name Variables (Or How To Destroy A Codebase With One Rebrand)
The perfect documentation of programmer naming hell. When Twitter rebranded to "X," some poor dev somewhere had to refactor thousands of variables from sensible names like "tweet" to... "x"? And what's the verb now? "X-ing"? This is what happens when marketing decisions crash into code bases. Somewhere, a senior developer is drinking straight from the bottle while staring at search-and-replace results that broke 47 unit tests.

Stack Overflow Vs Twitter: The Great Developer Distraction
StackOverflow Programming
1 month ago 75.6K views 0 shares
Stack Overflow Vs Twitter: The Great Developer Distraction
Ah, the classic bait-and-switch. First we were all tied up with Stack Overflow, desperately patting it on the head for every error message we couldn't decipher. Then Elon swoops in with his Twitter/X rebrand, and suddenly our timelines are filled with developers dramatically announcing their migration to Bluesky, Mastodon, or whatever platform hasn't been "ruined" yet. Ten years in this industry and I've learned one universal truth: developers will spend more time complaining about where they're complaining than actually writing code. Meanwhile, that bug isn't going to fix itself while you're crafting the perfect farewell tweet.

Question Was Asked To An Ex-Twitter Engineer
Programming Devops Debugging Testing Backend
1 month ago 87.5K views 0 shares
Question Was Asked To An Ex-Twitter Engineer
When asked "How does it feel knowing that the software you work on will probably break soon?" the ex-Twitter engineer's response is simply: "Normal." This is peak software engineering nihilism! After Elon's takeover and mass layoffs, Twitter's remaining code base is basically held together with digital duct tape and a prayer. The single-word answer perfectly captures what every developer secretly thinks: our code is always one deploy away from catastrophic failure. It's not pessimism—it's just Tuesday in tech.