twitter Memes

Insecure Private Key

2 days ago 65.2K views 0 shares

When you mistake a celebrity's keyboard smash for your RSA private key. The irony is delicious - spending hours securing your system only to accidentally paste Lady Gaga's random tweet as your encryption key. The real security vulnerability was between the keyboard and chair all along. Pro tip: If your private key looks like it could've been generated by a pop star having a seizure on their keyboard, maybe double-check before deploying to production.

Sorry, I Forgot To Print The Code Out

Javascript Webdev Programming Debugging

4 days ago 76.3K views 0 shares

Oh. My. GOD! The expectations vs. reality of code audits is sending me to the GRAVE! 💀 Top panel: The pristine, politically-charged algorithm that Elon thinks he'll discover in Twitter's codebase - a smoking gun that automatically deletes Trump tweets and bans authors! Bottom panel: The absolute HORROR SHOW he'll actually find - a cursed "isEven" function with a switch statement that returns undefined for 0, false for 1, true for 2, and false for 3. With a desperate plea comment "Please don't look at this" from some poor dev who KNEW they committed crimes against humanity! The reality of tech acquisitions: you pay $44 billion only to discover the backend is held together with duct tape, prayers, and questionable logic that would make computer science professors weep uncontrollably!

Are You A Bot? 🤖

php AI Webdev Programming

9 days ago 85.8K views 0 shares

The existential crisis of modern programming in one tweet! Someone asks if you're a bot, and the reply cuts straight to the bone: "We are all bots. Some implemented with neurons and synapses, others with PHP. Arguably both are about the same IQ." Brutal takedown of PHP developers everywhere while simultaneously questioning what even makes us human. The philosophical burn is so savage it makes Descartes' "I think therefore I am" look like a casual observation. PHP catching strays in a conversation about artificial intelligence is peak programmer humor.

Elon's Flawless Twitter Profit Strategy

Webdev Devops Javascript Programming Debugging

12 days ago 61.7K views 0 shares

Elon's master plan for Twitter profitability is peak corporate strategy: Step 1: Make Twitter profitable (revolutionary concept) Step 2: Fire developers to cut costs (because who needs those pesky people who make things work?) Step 3: Introduce paid API plans (monetize everything!) Step 4: Completely forget to create your own subscription to said API (minor oversight) Nothing says "flawless execution" like charging for something you yourself can't figure out how to use. Classic billionaire move - break the stairs while climbing them.

How To Name Variables (Or How To Destroy A Codebase With One Rebrand)

Programming Javascript Debugging Frontend Backend

13 days ago 77.2K views 0 shares

How To Name Variables (Or How To Destroy A Codebase With One Rebrand)

The perfect documentation of programmer naming hell. When Twitter rebranded to "X," some poor dev somewhere had to refactor thousands of variables from sensible names like "tweet" to... "x"? And what's the verb now? "X-ing"? This is what happens when marketing decisions crash into code bases. Somewhere, a senior developer is drinking straight from the bottle while staring at search-and-replace results that broke 47 unit tests.

Stack Overflow Vs Twitter: The Great Developer Distraction

StackOverflow Programming

24 days ago 66.0K views 0 shares

Stack Overflow Vs Twitter: The Great Developer Distraction

Ah, the classic bait-and-switch. First we were all tied up with Stack Overflow, desperately patting it on the head for every error message we couldn't decipher. Then Elon swoops in with his Twitter/X rebrand, and suddenly our timelines are filled with developers dramatically announcing their migration to Bluesky, Mastodon, or whatever platform hasn't been "ruined" yet. Ten years in this industry and I've learned one universal truth: developers will spend more time complaining about where they're complaining than actually writing code. Meanwhile, that bug isn't going to fix itself while you're crafting the perfect farewell tweet.

Question Was Asked To An Ex-Twitter Engineer

Programming Devops Debugging Testing Backend

1 month ago 79.0K views 0 shares

Question Was Asked To An Ex-Twitter Engineer

When asked "How does it feel knowing that the software you work on will probably break soon?" the ex-Twitter engineer's response is simply: "Normal." This is peak software engineering nihilism! After Elon's takeover and mass layoffs, Twitter's remaining code base is basically held together with digital duct tape and a prayer. The single-word answer perfectly captures what every developer secretly thinks: our code is always one deploy away from catastrophic failure. It's not pessimism—it's just Tuesday in tech.

He Paid 44 Billion To Get Dunked On

Databases Security Programming

1 month ago 116.1K views 0 shares

The ultimate tech billionaire self-own! Elon confidently declares the Social Security database isn't de-duplicated, suggesting massive fraud... only to get absolutely demolished when someone points out he clearly has no idea how government databases work. The cherry on top? The "readers added context" feature on his own platform confirming that yes, the government does indeed use SQL. Nothing quite like spending $44 billion on a platform just so everyone can watch you get publicly schooled on basic database concepts. This is what happens when you skip Database 101 but still think you're qualified to critique government systems. Maybe next time Google "what is MySQL" before tweeting?

What Astupid Programmer

Javascript Java Frontend Backend

1 month ago 110.0K views 0 shares

whatAStupidProgrammer | programmer-memes, javascript-memes, java-memes, program-memes, twitter-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content JavaScript criticism on Twitter be like: "a" in "a", "b" is false, what a stupid language!

Kill Process Or Sacrifice Children

Databases Backend

1 month ago 35.5K views 0 shares

killProcessOrSacrificeChildren | code-memes, iphone-memes, electron-memes, rds-memes, twitter-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Samantha Morlote therealsmorlote !!! THE BELOW MESSAGE WAS DISPLAYED ON SOMEONE'S TV. CODE WAS DISPLAYED, MIXED WITH THE WORDS "KILL PROCESS OR SACRIFICE CHILD" ! ! ! !! ARE YOU ALL SEEING THIS ! ! Monroc Electronics, Inc. CAB System E03-03: Cent03 rolease 6.9 Final) Kennel: 2.6.32-696.30.1.16.1606 on on 1606 ToMP27vidpEN301 login: Out of semory: KIll procest 12099 file) score OG1 or Ba crifice child Hillod process 12059, MID 0, (ole) totol-u: 1090132k0, anon-ran:79341Gk0, flo-r so:500D Dat af acmory: WIll process 20970 (ule) acore 061 or sacrifice child NIl Tod process 20970, UID B, (ulc) (otel-um: 1097260kB, anon-ros:00007240, CHle-r at:20010 Bat of senory: MIl process 16879 (ule) score 056 ar nocrifice child, But of schory: M111 process 18399 (ulc) score 011 ar socrifica child KIlled proceas 18309, UID B, (ulc) total-u:1041900kB, onon-ras:72009240, File-r an: 10010 2:58 PM 81121 Twitter for iPhone

Bar Fighters, you need to step up your game

Programming

1 month ago 16.4K views 0 shares

Bar Fighters, you need to step up your game | iphone-memes, twitter-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Nathan Odom NathanOdom11 I'm thankful for the Foo Fighters because I've never felt threatened by a foo and that means they're doing a heck of a job on the frontlines 6:45 PM 12219 Twitter for iPhone

What Was He Thinking

Linux Debugging Frontend

1 month ago 67.0K views 0 shares

whatWasHeThinking | software-memes, web-memes, engineer-memes, software engineer-memes, fix-memes, cli-memes, IT-memes, twitter-memes, retweet-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content chrisk5000 chrisk5000 Almost made fun of an electrician today like "is it an electrician's guild rule that you have to perform 5 minutes of ritual complaining about What Was The Previous Electrician Thinking before you're allowed to fix anything?" but then I remembered I'm a software engineer 6:25 PM Nov 15, 2018 Twitter Web Client 586 Retweets 2.4K Likes

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