twitter Memes

Thank Him For That

11 days ago 62.2K views 0 shares

The debugging escalation hierarchy in its final form! First, you bother your friend who's just trying to code in peace. Then you post on StackOverflow and get roasted for not providing a minimal reproducible example. But the GALAXY BRAIN move? Tweeting directly at Brendan Eich—the literal creator of JavaScript—about your broken script tag. And what does the legend do? Simply replies "Show the html please." Not "Do you know who I am?!" Just calmly asking for the code like a regular dev helping out. The absolute chad of programming language creators just casually debugging your homework on Twitter.

It's Not Fair

Programming Debugging

15 days ago 68.4K views 0 shares

EXCUSE ME WHILE I SCREAM INTO THE VOID! Here I am, drowning in my 4 MILLION LINES of legacy Visual Basic code—a digital dinosaur that should've been extinct with dial-up internet—while Twitter is over there having its weekly identity crisis about which programming language is hot or dead! 💀 Meanwhile, I'm just trying to keep this prehistoric monolith from collapsing like a house of cards while some tech influencer declares Rust the new messiah and JavaScript officially over for the 47th time this year. THE AUDACITY! Some of us don't have the luxury of jumping ship every time a shiny new framework gets 10 stars on GitHub!

The Networking Nightmare

Networking Vim Programming

1 month ago 91.0K views 0 shares

The classic "networking" experience on Tech Twitter. Guy just wants to connect with fellow developers and instead gets the digital equivalent of someone clinging to his leg begging for mentorship. The rapid escalation from "Hii sir" to "Please guide me, sir" in under 4 minutes is a masterclass in professional desperation. Nothing says "hire me" quite like prayer hands at 6:10 AM after being completely ignored.

Can We Ban X Twitter Links

StackOverflow Webdev Networking Programming Debugging

1 month ago 107.6K views 0 shares

Developers trying to share Stack Overflow solutions be like: HTTP 301 - PERMANENTLY REDIRECTED to some random X post with 47 popup ads and a paywall. Remember when Twitter links actually worked? Now our code reviews look like archaeological digs through API deprecation notices just to find that one regex snippet someone shared in 2019. The ultimate 404 of productivity.

Cloudflare Has No Remorse

Networking Webdev Security Debugging Cloud

1 month ago 141.0K views 0 shares

The most brutal tech diagnosis ever: "Skill Issue." Cloudflare's error page casually roasting Twitter (ahem, X) with surgical precision while your browser and their servers are just vibing. That "Git gud" advice to website owners is the digital equivalent of telling someone who's car broke down to "try driving better." Thanks Cloudflare, I'm sure Twitter will frame this helpful feedback right next to their office ping pong table.

J Son: The Data Format That Broke The Internet

Javascript Webdev Programming Databases Frontend

1 month ago 131.1K views 0 shares

J Son: The Data Format That Broke The Internet

THE HORROR! You leave your API alone for FIVE MINUTES and return to find 1,525 posts about JSON?! The absolute TRAUMA of being a developer in 2023! Every time you check Twitter, there's another trending topic about data formats. Like, can we please just have ONE DAY without someone having an existential crisis over curly braces and key-value pairs?! The backend devs are screaming, the frontend devs are hyperventilating, and somewhere, an XML enthusiast is quietly sobbing in the corner.

The Newbie Asking For Help On X

Programming Webdev React Javascript StackOverflow

1 month ago 120.3K views 0 shares

Asking for coding help on Twitter/X is like being a house cat who wants to hunt mice while surrounded by apex predators. The newbie asks an innocent question, and suddenly senior devs swoop in with increasingly complex alternatives that have nothing to do with the original problem. Junior: "How do I center a div?" 10x Engineer: "Nobody uses CSS anymore. Try this React component with styled-components." Staff Engineer: "Just migrate to Svelte." CTO: "We're rewriting everything in Rust and WebAssembly."

Inline CSS With Extra Steps

Frontend Webdev React Javascript

1 month ago 105.9K views 0 shares

The Twitter bird (or any blue bird, really) first rejects Tailwind CSS with disgust, only to later vomit it back up after reluctantly consuming it. It's the classic frontend dev journey: "Utility classes?! That's just inline CSS with extra steps! I'm a proper developer who writes clean, semantic CSS!" *5 minutes of trying to maintain a massive CSS codebase later* "OH GOD GIVE ME THE UTILITY CLASSES PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING!" We've all been there. First you mock it, then you try it, then you can't live without it. The circle of CSS frameworks.

Rewriting Twitter In COBOL: The Ultimate Legacy Upgrade

Programming Git Frontend Backend

2 months ago 110.8K views 2 shares

Rewriting Twitter In COBOL: The Ultimate Legacy Upgrade

Ah, the legendary GitHub pull request to rewrite Twitter in COBOL! For the uninitiated, COBOL is a programming language from the 1950s that's still running critical banking systems and government infrastructure, but about as suited for modern social media as a steam engine is for space travel. The satirical PR suggestion is pure comedy gold—imagine handling Twitter's real-time feeds and media processing with a language designed when computers took up entire rooms and "memory" meant physical punch cards! The 17 thumbs-up reactions show there are plenty of developers with a sense of humor (or masochistic tendencies). Meanwhile, somewhere a mainframe administrator is breaking into a cold sweat thinking about the 400-column code needed just to display a single tweet.

Insecure Private Key

Security Networking Programming

2 months ago 126.6K views 0 shares

When you mistake a celebrity's keyboard smash for your RSA private key. The irony is delicious - spending hours securing your system only to accidentally paste Lady Gaga's random tweet as your encryption key. The real security vulnerability was between the keyboard and chair all along. Pro tip: If your private key looks like it could've been generated by a pop star having a seizure on their keyboard, maybe double-check before deploying to production.

Sorry, I Forgot To Print The Code Out

Javascript Webdev Programming Debugging

2 months ago 124.0K views 0 shares

Oh. My. GOD! The expectations vs. reality of code audits is sending me to the GRAVE! 💀 Top panel: The pristine, politically-charged algorithm that Elon thinks he'll discover in Twitter's codebase - a smoking gun that automatically deletes Trump tweets and bans authors! Bottom panel: The absolute HORROR SHOW he'll actually find - a cursed "isEven" function with a switch statement that returns undefined for 0, false for 1, true for 2, and false for 3. With a desperate plea comment "Please don't look at this" from some poor dev who KNEW they committed crimes against humanity! The reality of tech acquisitions: you pay $44 billion only to discover the backend is held together with duct tape, prayers, and questionable logic that would make computer science professors weep uncontrollably!

Are You A Bot? 🤖

php AI Webdev Programming

2 months ago 141.6K views 0 shares

The existential crisis of modern programming in one tweet! Someone asks if you're a bot, and the reply cuts straight to the bone: "We are all bots. Some implemented with neurons and synapses, others with PHP. Arguably both are about the same IQ." Brutal takedown of PHP developers everywhere while simultaneously questioning what even makes us human. The philosophical burn is so savage it makes Descartes' "I think therefore I am" look like a casual observation. PHP catching strays in a conversation about artificial intelligence is peak programmer humor.

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