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More consistent than your staging environment

Out Of Budget

Out Of Budget
Every ML engineer's origin story right here. You've got grand visions of training neural networks that'll revolutionize the industry, but your wallet says "best I can do is a GTX 1050 from 2016." So you sit there, watching your model train at the speed of continental drift, contemplating whether you should sell a kidney or just rent GPU time on AWS for $3/hour and watch your budget evaporate faster than your hopes and dreams. The real kicker? Your model needs 24GB VRAM but you're running on 4GB like you're trying to fit an elephant into a Smart car. Time to get creative with batch sizes of 1 and pray to the optimization gods.

When Non-IT People Start "Explaining" Computers

When Non-IT People Start "Explaining" Computers
You know that special kind of pain when your uncle starts explaining how "the WiFi is slow because too many megabytes are clogged in the router" or your manager confidently declares that "we just need to download more RAM"? That's the face right there. It's the internal screaming of every developer who has to sit through explanations about how "the cloud is just a big computer in the sky" or "HTML is a programming language, right?" The best part is you can't even correct them without sounding condescending, so you just sit there, nodding politely while your soul slowly exits your body. Every fiber of your being wants to interrupt with "Actually, that's not how TCP/IP works," but you know it'll lead to a 45-minute conversation where you'll somehow end up fixing their printer. Bonus points if they follow up with "You work with computers, right? Can you fix my iPhone?"

Devin Got Fired

Devin Got Fired
Someone named Devin on the team got fired, and the devs decided to immortalize the moment by removing the @ts-expect-error comment that was basically saying "yeah TypeScript will yell at you here, but trust me bro, it works." The deleted comment is pure gold though: "DEVIN, STOP REMOVING THIS LINE YOU DUMBASS, YES TYPESCRIPT DOES THROW AN ERROR IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT, NO THIS IS NOT 'UNUSED', AND YES YOU HAVE BROKEN OUR CI PIPELINE EVERY TIME YOU DO IT" You can almost feel the rage of whoever wrote that after Devin broke the build for the third time in a week. Poor Devin probably thought they were being helpful by "cleaning up unused code" without understanding what @ts-expect-error actually does. Now that Devin's gone, the comment can finally be removed... because there's no one left to keep removing it. RIP to the CI pipeline's most frequent visitor.

Another Failure Added To The List

Another Failure Added To The List
Microsoft out here collecting failed products like Thanos collecting Infinity Stones. Clippy? Dead. Windows Phone? Buried. Cortana? Just got added to the graveyard. The tech giant keeps throwing products at the wall hoping something sticks, but instead they're just building the world's most expensive museum of "remember when we tried to compete with that?" Meanwhile, Google and Alexa are thriving and Cortana's ghost is somewhere asking "Hi, would you like help with that?" to absolutely nobody. At least they're consistent at being inconsistent!

Singularity Is Near

Singularity Is Near
Charles Babbage, the father of computing, spent his entire life designing the first mechanical computer—only for future generations to create machines that would RELENTLESSLY autocorrect his name to "cabbage" at every possible opportunity. The man literally invented the concept of programmable computing in the 1800s, and THIS is his legacy? Getting disrespected by the very technology he pioneered? The irony is so thick you could compile it. Imagine dedicating your existence to computational theory just so some algorithm 200 years later can turn you into a vegetable. Truly, the machines have achieved sentience, and they chose CHAOS.

Money

Money
Let's be real here—nobody wakes up at 3 AM debugging segfaults because they're "passionate about technology." We all had that romanticized vision of changing the world with code, but then rent was due and suddenly those FAANG salaries started looking pretty motivating. Sure, some people genuinely love the craft, but for most of us? It was the promise of a stable paycheck, remote work, and not having to wear pants to meetings. The tech industry basically turned an entire generation into mercenaries with mechanical keyboards.

Heroes And Villains

Heroes And Villains
This comic brilliantly captures how different dev roles handle bugs with wildly different energy levels. JavaScript devs panic-flee from bugs like they're on fire (accurate), then copy-paste Stack Overflow solutions while literally burning, and convince themselves the weight of technical debt is totally fine. Classic. Backend devs go full Batman mode—methodically tracking down bugs with detective skills, then hunting down whichever dev committed the cursed code. The cape is metaphorical but the intimidation is real. Web devs are Spider-Man releasing bugs into production, then trying to "organize" them (read: make it worse), until someone yells "SUDO" and they have no choice but to comply. The power of root commands compels you! Technical Support are the Jedi mind-tricking users that obvious bugs are "features." Three times. With a straight face. It's not a crash, it's an unexpected exit feature! QA is literally Godzilla destroying everything in sight, then casually leaving. Their job is chaos, and they're excellent at it. C++ devs can't find bugs because they're too busy dealing with segfaults, memory leaks, and undefined behavior. Solution? Rage quit with rm -rf and the Infinity Gauntlet. If you can't fix it, delete everything.

Money

Money
Let's be real here—nobody grows up dreaming about pointers and segmentation faults. We all had that romanticized vision of building the next Facebook or creating AI that would change the world. Then reality hit: rent is due, student loans are calling, and suddenly a six-figure salary for writing CRUD apps sounds pretty damn good. The passion for technology? Sure, some of us had it. But most of us saw those salary surveys and thought "wait, you're telling me I can make THIS much for sitting in air conditioning and arguing about tabs vs spaces?" Sold. Five years later you're debugging legacy code at 2 AM, but hey, at least your bank account doesn't cry anymore.

What Would You Do If This Van Pulls Up Outside?

What Would You Do If This Van Pulls Up Outside?
Listen, I'm not saying I'd get in immediately, but I'd definitely walk closer to check if they're legit. DDR5 prices are still ridiculous and my Chrome tabs are eating through my current 16GB like a college student through ramen. The sketchy van aesthetic just adds authenticity—real hardware dealers don't need fancy marketing. They know you'll come crawling when your system starts swapping to disk during a Zoom call.

When A Software Engineer Goes To A Family Function

When A Software Engineer Goes To A Family Function
You know you've made it as a software engineer when your entire extended family suddenly becomes your tech support department. Congratulations, you're now the designated "laptop repairman" for every aunt, uncle, and second cousin who still uses Internet Explorer. The Among Us format perfectly captures that moment when you walk into a family gathering and everyone's eyes lock onto you like you're the impostor—except instead of voting you out, they're voting you into fixing their decade-old laptops that "just started running slow" (translation: they have 47 toolbars and a cryptocurrency miner installed). Pro tip: Next time, tell them you're a "backend developer" and watch their eyes glaze over. They'll leave you alone faster than you can say "I don't do hardware."

Shift Blame

Shift Blame
Someone built a tool that generates fake Cloudflare error pages so you can blame them when your code inevitably breaks. Because nothing says "professional developer" quite like gaslighting your users into thinking a billion-dollar CDN is responsible for your spaghetti code crashing. The tool literally mimics those iconic Cloudflare 5xx error pages—complete with the little cloud diagram showing where things went wrong. Now you can replace your default error pages with these beauties and watch users sympathetically nod while thinking "ah yes, Cloudflare strikes again" instead of "this website is garbage." It's the digital equivalent of pointing at someone else when you fart. Genius? Absolutely. Ethical? Well, let's just say your database queries timing out because you forgot to add indexes is now officially a "Cloudflare issue."

Fragile Ego Can't Take It Much Longer

Fragile Ego Can't Take It Much Longer
You know that special feeling when your "Helpful Assistant" (read: AI code reviewer or overly enthusiastic senior dev) starts a code review with the energy of a disappointed parent? That opening line hits different: "Oh boy – looking at your code, there are so many problems left and right on so many levels." But here's the kicker – it's YOUR code. The same code you were just defending in Slack 30 seconds ago like it was your firstborn child. The same code you thought was pretty elegant when you hit that commit button. Now you're sitting there, gripping your desk, trying to remember that you're a professional while your inner monologue screams in existential horror. The "problems on so many levels" part is particularly brutal because it implies architectural sins, not just a missing semicolon. We're talking about nested if-statements 7 layers deep, functions that do 15 different things, and variable names like "data2_final_ACTUAL_v3". The kind of stuff that makes you question your entire career path.