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As surprising as finding helpful comments in legacy code

Brain Drain

Brain Drain | computer-memes, computer science-memes, engineer-memes, class-memes, cli-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content BRAIN DRAIN EVERYONE WELCOME OUR NEWEST ENGINEER, NICK! HE'S HERE TO HELP US ACCOMPLISH OUR MISSION TO BRING THE WORLD TOGETHER! Fa SKELETONCLAW HE GRADUATED TOP OF HIS CLASS FROM STANFORD WITH DEGREES IN MATH AND COMPUTER SCIENCE. YOU'LL BE HELPING THE MOBILE TEAM REACH ITS QUARTERLY GOAL OF 0.2 MORE ADS CLICKED PER USER SKELETONCLAW.COM

Startupping Intensifies

Startupping Intensifies
Ah, the classic "sell the dream, build it later" startup strategy. These two are basically running the tech equivalent of a Ponzi scheme with PowerPoint slides. They've mastered the ancient art of "requirement gathering" by letting the customer unknowingly fund the entire development cycle. The beauty is that by the time the customer realizes they've paid for vaporware, you've either built something that kinda works or secured another round of funding from some VC who thinks "pre-revenue" is a legitimate business model. Ten years in the industry and I've seen this cycle repeat more times than git commits on a Friday afternoon. The smug expressions say it all – "Can you believe they actually bought that demo we cobbled together last night?"

This is the future

This is the future | bot-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Marci Robin O MarciRobin I bought a car today, and the dealership had me check off - with a pen, on paper - that I'm not a robot. I'm not a robot Submit

Oh no.

Oh no. | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Javascript' Bad BO00! GET BETTER MATERIAL! PHP bad

Mad lad explains how to connect to an SQL database via Javascript

Mad lad explains how to connect to an SQL database via Javascript | javascript-memes, php-memes, java-memes, server-memes, data-memes, password-memes, security-memes, sql-memes, sql server-memes, database-memes, string-memes, object-memes, cli-memes, rds-memes, ide-memes, language-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content You shouldn't use client javascript to access databases for several reasons (bad practice, security issues, etc) but if you really want to do this, here is an example: 748 var connection new Activexobject ("ADODB .Connection") ; var connectionstring "Data Source server; Initial Catalogcatalog ;User IDuser; Password connection. Open (connectionstring); new ActiveXObject ("ADODB. Recordset"); rs. Open ("SELECT FROM table", connection); rs.MoveFirst while(!rs.eof) document.writers.fields (1)); rs.movenext; rs. close; connection. close; A better way to connect to a sql server would be to use some server side language like PHP, Java, NET, among others. Client javascript should be used only for the interfaces. And there are rumors of an ancient legend about the existence of server javascript, but this is another story. ;) Share Edit Follow Flag edited Jun 24 '09 at 13:27 answered May 13 09 at 12:29 Fabio Vinicius Binder 12.5k 4 30 32

Web developers will know...

Web developers will know... | developer-memes, web developer-memes, web-memes, internet explorer-memes, internet-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content ME AS A WEB DEVELOPER CHROME CODE FIREFOX INTERNET EXPLORER

I need some coffee

I need some coffee | code-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content ME: STAYS AWAKE UNTIL 3 AM TO WRITE CODE window.gs.finalphase false; if (window.gs.final phase) THE CODE I WRITE AT 3 AM:

Three D Donut In C Tastes Good

Three D Donut In C Tastes Good
Ah, the infamous donut.c! Non-programmers think we're building fancy holograms and saving the world, but in reality we're spending 14 hours writing ASCII art that renders a spinning torus in the terminal. The absolute peak of C programming isn't creating operating systems—it's crafting mathematically precise donut code that outputs... another donut. It's the programming equivalent of Inception, but with more trigonometry and fewer Leonardo DiCaprios. The real flex isn't that it works, but that someone managed to format the code itself into a donut shape while it generates a donut. That's not just programming—that's art .

Words Of Wisdom

WordsOfWisdom | code-memes, catch-memes, devs-memes, rds-memes, edge-memes, cs-memes, comment-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Avloren 13 hr. ago Every project, even the ones you code solo, has at least three devs: past you, present you, and future you. And past you was an idiot. 184 Reply Share merlinblack 12 hr. ago present me is pretty dumb too 4 74 Reply Share JackSpyder 12 hr. ago Yeah that guy is the worst to work with. Reply Share sad bug killer 11 hr. ago Nah, present me can be reasoned with if I catch him doing something stupid Past me, on the other hand, is a lazy incompetent prick that left long ago and took all his tiny knowledge with him 4 22 3 Reply Share JackSpyder 11 hr. ago Yeah and future you is like super smart skd clever and can easily figure this out by reading this code so no real need for docs or comments.

if condition then statement

if condition then statement | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content IF YOUR DOG POOPS PICK IT UP PLEASE

lets be honest: we all do this

lets be honest: we all do this | programmer-memes, program-memes, twitter-memes, retweet-memes, framework-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content I couldn't find a meme template NotARealUser why spend 5 minutes learning a framework when you can spend 5 hours making a worse alternative 2:13 PM Mar 32, 2022 Twitter for rProgrammerHumor 23 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 473 Likes 17 1

Java - it sure ain't pretty but by god it works

Java - it sure ain't pretty but by god it works | java-memes, python-memes, c++-memes, IT-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Python: print C: cout Java: SysTEM.oUt. prinTLn