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Content This is a motherfucking website. And it's fucking perfect. Seriously, what the fuck else do you want? You probably build websites and think your shit is special. You think your 13 megabyte parallax-ative home page is going to get you some tUCKIng AWard Da1 mer vou can glue to the too corner of vOus 40-Dound 1Oue tile and 85 Do viiis give la a Done Shit's lightweight and loads fast Fits on all vour shitty screen Looks the same in all vour shitty browsers The mothertuckers accessible to every asshole that visits your site Shits legible and gets your fucking point across it you had one instead of just 5mb pics of hipsters drinking coffee Well guess what, mothertucKer: You. Are. Over-designing. Look at this shit. It's a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do vou need to animate a fucking trend-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobvtes to vour fucking site. and some mothertucker jabbing at it on their 1Pad with fat sausage fingers will never see Not to mention blind people will never see that shit, they don't see any of you You never knew it, but this is your pertect website. Heres why. It's fucking lightweight This entire page weighs less than the gradient-meshed facebook logo on your fucking Wordpress site. Did you seriously load 100kb of Query UI iust so vou could animate the fucking backeround color of a div? You loaded all 7 fontfaces of a shitty webfont just so vou could say "Hi." at 100px height at the beginning of vour site? You piece of shit It's responsive You dumbass. You thought vou needed media queries to be responsive, but no. Responsive means that it responds to whatever mothertucking screensize its viewed on. This site doesnt care it youre on an iMac or a mothertucking lamagotchi It fucking works Look at this shit. You can read ; Courses I'm Currently Teaching (1995) Ithas content on the fucking ser Fall 1995 me click some bobbing button tr ILS tags nd make CS101: How to literally use for-loops CSSS9: You will seriously get rekt by this course dont take it Last edited: Sep. 29, 2016 Contact Information Phone: (333) 425-5253 Fax: (333) 888 - 3424 Email: john(at)university(dot)edu Oitice: Generic Hall. 41) M. N. Shamalayan M. N. Shamalayan. "Combining Neural Networks With Natural Language Processing to Optimize the Hitler Problem." (ICSE-1998). M. N. Shamalayan. "Using Unguided Prim 'Trees to Solve the Matrix Mul- tincation Problem" (OSS-2000 M. N. Shamalayan. Using Large Dataset Combined with Support Vector Machine to Solve the Ice-Cream Optimization Problem. (1051-2002)

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