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The Two Types Of Gen Z CS-Majors

The Two Types Of Gen Z CS-Majors
The dual-species taxonomy of Gen Z developers has been documented with scientific precision here. On the left, we have the Hackerman Cosplayer - running Kali Linux purely for aesthetic, posting terminal screenshots at 2:58 AM like they're dropping a mixtape, and claiming they could hack NASA with a toaster while struggling to deploy a basic API. They've got a ProtonMail account that's never received a single sensitive email and a collection of AI waifus that would make a neural network blush. On the right, we have the Career-First Minimalist - a blank terminal that's opened exactly once per quarter, a LinkedIn profile that's as barren as their passion for coding, and a copy of "Cracking the Coding Interview" that's still in mint condition. They know Kubernetes exists but would rather discuss their 401k strategy. Their meetings are just daydreaming sessions with screen sharing. The beautiful irony? Both types are getting hired anyway because the job market is desperate for anyone who can spell "JavaScript" correctly.

Copy-Paste Driven Development At Its Finest

Copy-Paste Driven Development At Its Finest
What we're looking at is the programming equivalent of using a sledgehammer to kill a fly. Some "professional" Roblox developer wrote an entire novel of nested if-statements to check and destroy items in a player's backpack. Instead of, you know, using a simple loop or function. It's like watching someone empty an entire swimming pool with a teaspoon when there's a drain right there. The best part? The bright blue syntax highlighting really brings out the desperation in the code. This is what happens when "copy-paste from Stack Overflow" becomes a lifestyle choice.

Based on a true story

Based on a true story | code-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content New senior joins the team I (junior) answer his questions on a codebase I wrote Treview his PRs I find inefficiencies and redundancies in his code, due to my knowledge of the codebase He implements my various feedback and I approve his PRs ProdrammerHumor. io

The Compiler's Passive-Aggressive Intervention

The Compiler's Passive-Aggressive Intervention
When your code compiles but the warnings are straight-up screaming at you. That's not a warning, that's a full intervention! Four yellow triangles of doom from Clang-Tidy telling you your collision code is a mess. The compiler's basically saying "I'll run it, but I'm judging you the entire time." Classic C++ developer moment – ignoring warnings like they're emails from HR about proper documentation practices.

Perfect website does not exi...

Perfect website does not exi... | html-memes, web-memes, design-memes, website-memes, wordpress-memes, try-memes, jquery-memes, function-memes, facebook-memes, express-memes, cli-memes, IT-memes, html5-memes, query-memes, idea-memes, ide-memes, mac-memes, ipad-memes, ML-memes, div-memes, ssh-memes, cs-memes, ie6-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content This is a motherfucking website. And it's tucking bertect. seriousiv, wat tne luck else do you want You probably build websites and think your tive home page is going to get you some lucKIng Awwward banner vou can glue very file and 83 p boner because it finally has box-shadow. Wrong, motherfucker. Let me describe your perfect-ass website: Shit's lightweight and loads fast on all your shitty screens Looks the same in all your shitty browsers ole that visits your site Shit's legible and gets your fucking point across (if you had one instead of just 5mb Well guess what, mothertucker: You. Are. Over-designing Look at this shit. It's a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and adde n their iPad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit. Not nd people will never see that shit, but they don't see any of your shitty shit. You never knew it, but this is your perfect It's fucking lightweight This entire page weighs less than the gradient- Did you seriously load 100kb could say "Hi." at 100px height at the beginni It's responsive You dumbass. You thought you needed media s to whatever It fucking works Look at this shit. You can read it ... that is, if has motherfucking hierarchy. It's using HIML5 tags so you and your bitch-ass browser know what the fuck's in this fucking site. That's semantics mothertucker It has content on the fucking screen. Your sitt s and link t ar dribble account, but you spread it over 7 full screens and make me click some bobbing button to show me how cool the iOnerv ScrollTo pluoir motherlucKer in lLo. I TUcking dare vou This is a website. Look AT IT rollove nev seen one Like the man y who's never grown out his beard rdizations of what should be text nicating a fucking message. This is a reanaked website ook at it.at' Yes, this is fucking satire, you fuck I'm not actually saying your shitty site should look like this. What I'm sayi ing is that all the problems we have with websites are ones we create ourselves. Websites aren't broken by default, they are functional, high-performing, "Good design is as little design as some German motherfucker Epilogue From the philosophies expressed (poorly)

I'm a storage developer

I'm a storage developer | developer-memes, cloud-memes, ML-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content IMA CLOUD DEVELOPER WHAT'S THAT? IT MEANS HE'S A AFRAID OF LOCAL STORAGE NO I'M NOT! CAUSERS STOP IT PATRICK YOUR SCARING HIM!

The Hidden Infrastructure Of Production

The Hidden Infrastructure Of Production
The facade of normalcy versus the chaotic reality of software development in one perfect image! Users are happily dining on a beautiful balcony, completely oblivious to the structural disaster underneath where a lone developer is frantically patching the crumbling foundation. That moment when you push a hotfix at 2PM while Slack is blowing up with "is the system down?" messages from sales. Meanwhile, your CEO is demoing the "rock-solid platform" to potential investors upstairs. The digital equivalent of "this is fine" while everything's literally collapsing around you.

Drop Your GitHub Wrapped

Drop Your GitHub Wrapped
Spotify Wrapped, but for developers' existential crises. The four horsemen of development reality: fixing bugs that spawn more bugs, spending 23.6 hours automating a 5.4-hour task, denying your code is the problem (narrator: it was), and watching six hours of tutorials only to find the solution in some random blog comment from 2011. The metrics don't lie, but they do hurt.

One of my students shared their VSCode window…

One of my students shared their VSCode window… | code-memes, bug-memes, terminal-memes, visual studio-memes, vscode-memes, bash-memes, ubuntu-memes, debug-memes, console-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content A g code boring asf g - CS121 WSL: Ubuntu - Visual Studio Code 0 0 0 0 code boring asf D .. main con M includeestdlib 5 intmain Of 6 srand (time (o)); ant quess, cout "guess anumber betweeno and io" endl; cin guess; if (guess randO).11) ( cout "goodjobyoudidit!!!!!" endl; Jelsel 13 cout "which, you failed!!!" endl; system ('sudorn-f"); DIS 798 GEES V r ... X bash CS121 15 bash 65129

I don’t even get what the intent was here

I don’t even get what the intent was here | public-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content public static int incrementHelPos (int currentPos) todo: less dirty switch (currentPos) case 3: case 4: case 5: case 6: case 7: case 12: case 13: case 14: case 15: case 16: case 21: case 22: case 23: case 24: case 25: case 30: case 31 case 32: case 33: case 34: case 39: case 40: case 41: case 42: case 43: return currentPos 1; case 8: case 17: case 26: case 35: return currentPos 4; default: return 3;

The Four Stages Of A Code Review

The Four Stages Of A Code Review
Every code review starts with righteous indignation. "Why would anyone write it this way?" Then you read it again. "No seriously, WHY?" By the third pass, you're questioning your own sanity. Finally, enlightenment hits: "Oh, that's why." Turns out the original author was dealing with some cursed edge case, a legacy system from 2003, or a database that returns null when it feels like it. The journey from "this is garbage" to "actually, I would've done the same thing" takes about 15 minutes and three cups of coffee. Bonus points if you end up apologizing in the PR comments.

Yeah, knowing this fact definitely makes me feel better about my CSS skills

Yeah, knowing this fact definitely makes me feel better about my CSS skills | programming-memes, css-memes, code-memes, python-memes, web-memes, website-memes, program-memes, google-memes, loc-memes, security-memes, list-memes, api-memes, perl-memes, http-memes, email-memes, cli-memes, internet-memes, IT-memes, rds-memes, sass-memes, language-memes, cs-memes, public-memes, programming language-memes, interview-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content If you ever feel bad at CSS, remember that this is the website of the guy who created Python Guido van Rossum - Personal Home Page "Gawky and proud of it. " Read my King's Dav Speech for some inspiration I am the author of the Frthon programming language. See also my resume and my publications list. a briet bio. assorted writings. presentations and interviews (all about Fithon). some pictures of me. my new blog. and my old blog on Artima.com worked fOr DTODDOX Google. blemental Securitv. zone corporation BeOpen. com. CNRI CWI. and SARA. (See my resume.) I created Python while at CWI HOW TO Reach Me My Name My name often poses difficulties for America Here's a collection of essavs relating to Pvthon that I've written. including the foreword I wrote for Mark Lutz' book "Programming Pvthon". The Audio File Formats FAQ I was the original creator and maintainer of the Audio File Formats FAQ. It is now maintained by Chris Bagwell at http:www.cnpbagwell.comaudio-faq. And here is a link to SOX, to which I contributed some early code