kernel Memes

We All Dreamed About Making Our Own OS At Some Point…

We All Dreamed About Making Our Own OS At Some Point…
The kid asks Santa for an OS built with HTML, and Santa's about to yeet them out the window. Classic misunderstanding of what an operating system actually is versus what HTML does. HTML is a markup language for structuring web content—it literally just tells browsers "hey, this is a heading, this is a paragraph, make this text bold." You can't build an OS with it any more than you could build a car engine out of Post-it notes. Building a real OS requires low-level languages like C, C++, or Rust, direct hardware interaction, memory management, process scheduling, and a whole lot of kernel-level wizardry. Meanwhile HTML is just sitting there like "I can make a div with rounded corners!" The gap between these two concepts is so vast that Santa's violent reaction is completely justified. Fun fact: Electron apps basically do wrap HTML/CSS/JS in what feels like a mini-OS footprint (looking at you, Slack and Discord eating 2GB of RAM), but that's still running on top of an actual operating system doing the heavy lifting.

Linus Torvalds Repo

Linus Torvalds Repo
Someone claiming to be a "computer programmer of 40 years" just stumbled onto GitHub, discovered Linus Torvalds, and wants Windows support with Nvidia drivers for... the Linux kernel. The "NT kernel" search, the "Good things in life are never free" quote, using an Nvidia card for their CPU—this reads like the most elaborate troll post ever written or someone who genuinely thinks GitHub is a Windows software download site. The beautiful irony? They're asking the creator of Linux—a guy who famously said "NVIDIA, f*** you" on stage—for Windows support on his AudioNoise repo. It's like walking into a vegan restaurant and demanding they add more bacon to their menu because you heard the chef was good at cooking. The username "computerexpert88" is just *chef's kiss*. Nothing screams expertise like demanding build instructions for a Windows executable from a Linux kernel maintainer's hobby project. Someone's colleagues are having a good laugh right now.

Linux Kernel Vulnerabilities

Linux Kernel Vulnerabilities
Someone tries to dunk on Linux by saying it "never succeeded," and the comeback is absolutely nuclear. Linux literally runs on everything —from supercomputers and servers to Android phones, smart fridges, and yes, apparently the microcontroller in your mom's personal massager. The irony? Linux is probably the most successful OS kernel in human history by deployment count. It's running the internet, your router, your TV, and now... well, intimate devices. The "never succeeded" take aged like milk in the Sahara. Turns out when you're embedded in billions of devices worldwide, you've succeeded pretty hard.

Burn Is Real

Burn Is Real
Someone tried to dunk on Linux by saying it "never succeeded" and got absolutely obliterated with a comeback about embedded systems. Because yeah, Linux totally failed... except it's running on literally billions of devices including the servers hosting that tweet, Android phones, routers, smart fridges, and apparently adult toys. The "sry bro" makes it even funnier because dude walked right into that one. Nothing says success like being so ubiquitous that people forget you're everywhere.

Sorry

Sorry
So you casually mentioned you don't have Netflix and suddenly you're being held at gunpoint while someone forces you to read Windows Internals documentation, Sysinternals articles, browser exploitation CVEs, and reverse engineering repos. Because apparently that's the ONLY logical explanation for why you'd skip Netflix—you must be spending your evenings doing deep dives into kernel architecture and memory management like some kind of masochist. The intervention energy here is absolutely unhinged. "Take off your shoes, we're gonna talk about the Windows kernel" has the same vibe as "we need to talk about your life choices" except somehow MORE terrifying because it involves Pavel Yosifovich's 350-minute exploit development articles and Dave's Garage videos. Your friends really said "no Netflix? You must be one of THOSE people" and decided to stage a full confrontation about your extracurricular OS deep-dive habits.

It's Always Kernel

It's Always Kernel
Linux devs rejecting Git in favor of... popcorn kernels? The Drake meme format perfectly captures the Linux community's relationship with their beloved kernel. They'll turn down perfectly functional version control systems but get absolutely giddy over anything kernel-related. Whether it's kernel panics, kernel modules, or apparently literal corn kernels, if it has "kernel" in the name, Linux enthusiasts are all in. The obsession is real – these folks will spend 6 hours recompiling their kernel to save 2MB of RAM, and they'll do it with a smile.

Live Kernel Rewrite: The Mythical OS That Reads Your Mood

Live Kernel Rewrite: The Mythical OS That Reads Your Mood
Ah, the mythical kernel that rewrites itself based on your mood. Sure, and my coffee maker predicts stock market crashes. Next they'll tell us it can fix bugs while you sleep and optimize code based on your zodiac sign. The perfect kernel doesn't exi-- wait, did they just say "no reboot needed"? That's like claiming you can replace your car's engine while driving at 90mph. Linux kernel devs everywhere just collectively spat out their energy drinks.

Looks Can Be Deceiving In Tech

Looks Can Be Deceiving In Tech
Parents pointing at the homeless guy: "Study or become like him!" Little do they know, that "homeless-looking" dude is probably making 300k maintaining critical infrastructure that powers half the internet. The stereotype of success being a clean-cut corporate drone in a suit is hilariously outdated. Some of the most brilliant minds in tech look like they just crawled out of a cave after a 72-hour debugging session. The irony is that the kids would be lucky to end up with his skills. That scruffy Linux kernel maintainer is basically tech royalty.

Stop Doing Operating Systems

Stop Doing Operating Systems
Content STOP DOING OS • CPUS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE SHARED! • YEARS OF SCHEDULERS yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for running more than one task at a time! • Wanted to terminate a process? We had a tool for that. It was called manual restart. • "Please give me 30 bytes of virtual memory. Please allocate it on the heap. ' - Statements dreamed up by evil wizards. LOOK at what kernel developers have been demanding your respect for all this time, with all the memory and CPUS we built for them. (This is REAL KERNEL CODE, done by REAL KERNEL DEVS): prev_state = READ_ONCE(prev->__state); if (sched mode == SM IDLE) { * This is how we return from a fork. * SCX must consult the BPF scheduler to if (Irq->nr_running 88 !scx_enabled()) { i SYM_CODE_START(ret_from_fork) next = prev; bl schedule_tail goto picked; cbz x19, 1f MOV x0, x20 } else if (! preempt 8& prev_state) { try_to_block_task(rq, prev, prev_state); switch_count = &prev->nvcsw; blr X19 1: get_current_task tsk MoV X0, sp } bl asm_exit_to_user_mode ret_to_user next = pick_next_task(rq, prev, &rf); rq_set_donor(rq, next); SYM_CODE_END(ret_from_fork) NOKPROBE(ret_from_fork) STOCALE UEFANEX drag pushO: __diag_ignore(GCC, 8, "-Wattribute-alias", dancinkage cong sysomndnes Marta, aC vecc, VA AKUS_/ attribute (altas( stringity( se systanane)))); ONGsystanane, ERRNO); _do_systinare(__MAP(X,__SC_DECL,_VA_ARGS_ _se_sysmenare(__MAP(X,__SC_LONG,__VA_ARGS__)): se sysauname MAP(X, SC LONG,VA ARGS_)) do sussunare MAP(X. SC CAST, VA ARGS. _MAP(X, __SC_TEST,__VA_ARGS_ -PROTECT(x, ret,__MAP(X, __SC_ARGS, _VA_ARGS__)): 10000 94 static inline long SYSCALL DESTEX - do systanare (_MaP(X, _ SC_DECL, _ VA ARGS_ ????? ?????? ??????????? Hello I would like to a process please. They have played us for absolute fools.

Linux Kernel Style Guide

Linux Kernel Style Guide
The Linux kernel devs have spoken! Why bother with those pesky GNU coding standards when you can just set them on fire? It's the ultimate programmer power move. Forget tabs vs spaces debates - we're now in the "print and burn your style guide" era. Torvalds would be proud of this chaotic energy. Nothing says "I write kernel code my way" like the ashes of formatting rules gently floating away...

How Did He Write The Linux Kernel Without ChatGPT, Starbucks And GitHub

How Did He Write The Linux Kernel Without ChatGPT, Starbucks And GitHub
Linus Torvalds, the mythical creature who wrote an entire operating system without once asking ChatGPT to "explain pointers in C" or pushing broken code at 4:59pm on a Friday. Legend has it he didn't even need a $7 latte to debug kernel panics. Just pure Finnish sisu, a text editor, and the audacity to email people when their code was garbage. Modern devs looking at this like archaeologists discovering someone built the pyramids without Stack Overflow.

Real Hackers Roll Their Own Little One

Real Hackers Roll Their Own Little One
Starting 'em young on kernel compilation, I see! Nothing says "dedicated parent" like skipping Dr. Seuss and going straight to teaching your infant how to compile a kernel from source. That baby's first words won't be "mama" or "dada" but "sudo make install." By age 3, they'll be maintaining their own distro, and by kindergarten, they'll be looking down on the other kids still using—*gasp*—Windows. The face of pure confusion on that baby is the same expression I had during my first Linux install back in '98. Welcome to a lifetime of explaining to people that "No, Grandma, I can't just fix your iPad because I know Linux."