Comp sci professor website starter pack

[text] This is a motherfucking website. And its fucking perfect. Seriously what the fuck else do you want You probably build websites and think your shit is special. You think your 13 megabyte parallaxative home page is going to get you some fucking Awwward banner you can glue to the top comer of your site. You think your 40pound jQuery file and 83 polyfills give IE7 a boner because it finally has boxshadow. Wrong. motherfucker. Let me describe your perfectass website o Shits lightweight and loads fast Fits on all your shitty screens Looks the same 1n all your shitty browsers The motherfuckers accessible to every asshole that visits your site Shits legible and gets your fucking point across if you had one instead of just Smb pics of hipsters drinking coffee Well guess what motherfucker You. Are. Overdesigning. Look at this shit. Its a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendyass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobytes to your fucking site. and some motherfucker jabbing at it on their 1Pad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit. Not to mention blind people will never see that shit. but they dont see any of your shatty shit. You never knew it. but this is your perfect website. Heres why. Its fucking lightweight This entire page weighs less than the gradientmeshed facebook logo on your fucking WordPress site. Did you seriously load 100kb of jQuery UI just so you could animate the fucking background color of a div You loaded all 7 fontfaces of a shitty webfont just so you could say Hi. at 100px height at the beginning of your site You piece of shit. Its responsive You dumbass. You thought you needed media queries to be responsive. but no. Responsive means that 1t responds to whatever motherfucking screensize its viewed on. This site doesnt care if youre on an iMac or a motherfucking Tamagotchi. It fucking works Look at this shit. You can read 1t gCoulses Im Cu ntly Teachin 1995 1L5 tags so you and your bitchass brows It has content on the fucking ser Fall 1995 nd make me click some bobbing button t e CS101 How to literally use forloops o S889 You will seriously get rekt by this course dont take it Last edited Sep. 29 2016 Contact Information Phone 333 425 5253 Fax 333 888 3424 Email johnatuniversitydotedu Office Generic Hall. 415 M. N. Shamalayan Publications M. N. Shamalayan. Combining Neural Networks With Natural Language Processing to Optimize the Hitler Problem. ICSE1998. M. N. Shamalayan. Using Unguided Prim Trees to Solve the Matrix Mul tiplication Problem ICSE2000 M. N. Shamalayan. Using Large Dataset Combined with Support Vector Machine to Solve the IceCream Optimization Problem. ICSE2002