facebook Memes

Move Fast, Break Things (And My Will To Live)
Devops Agile Programming Debugging Testing
22 days ago 173.1K views 0 shares
Move Fast, Break Things (And My Will To Live)
OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAUMA of hearing "Move Fast, Break Things" for the 9,467th time! 😤 That phrase - Facebook's infamous mantra turned startup gospel - is the battle cry of every hoodie-wearing CEO who thinks destroying production databases is somehow "innovative." Meanwhile, the poor souls in ops are having ACTUAL HEART PALPITATIONS every time some "visionary" decides to push untested code on Friday at 4:59pm. The face in this meme is LITERALLY every sysadmin's soul leaving their body after hearing some fresh-out-of-bootcamp developer cheerfully announce they're "disrupting" the perfectly functional authentication system. PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS!

Break Things !== Move Fast
Devops Agile Git Programming Debugging
23 days ago 189.6K views 0 shares
Break Things !== Move Fast
The senior developer's villain origin story, captured in 4K. Facebook's infamous motto "Move Fast and Break Things" might sound inspirational on a Silicon Valley conference stage, but try saying that to someone who just spent 72 hours fixing production after your "innovative" commit bypassed code review. That look of pure contempt is what happens when you've lived through enough deployments to know that "moving fast" is just code for "technical debt we'll deal with never." The pistol whipping is merely a formality at this point.

No Way He Could Scale Without These Ones
Programming Devops Kubernetes php Databases
2 months ago 317.9K views 0 shares
No Way He Could Scale Without These Ones
Remember when developers just... wrote code? Wild concept, I know. The tweet sarcastically points out how Zuckerberg built Facebook in 2005 without today's trendy tech stack buzzwords that junior devs think are mandatory for any project with more than 3 users. Back then, it was PHP, MySQL, and sheer determination—not Kubernetes clusters managing serverless functions with real-time edge replication while mining Bitcoin on the side. Next time your startup "needs" a microservice architecture to handle 12 users, remember: Facebook served millions with technology that would make modern architects clutch their mechanical keyboards in horror.

The Carmack Optimization: From Code To Corporate
Gamedev Programming
2 months ago 142.2K views 0 shares
The Carmack Optimization: From Code To Corporate
Left side: John Carmack in his Oculus days, looking like the brilliant but slightly disheveled programmer who could optimize your rendering engine while explaining quaternions over lunch. Right side: Post-Facebook acquisition Carmack, who clearly discovered the secret API that transforms cargo pants energy into executive chic. The function signature must be something like: transform(millions_of_dollars, years_at_meta) . The real optimization algorithm was inside his wardrobe all along. Still has that "I could rewrite your entire codebase in assembly before dinner" vibe though.

The Illusion Of Cookie Consent
Javascript Webdev Security Programming Frontend
3 months ago 165.8K views 1 shares
The Illusion Of Cookie Consent
The illusion of choice in modern tech! That beautiful conditional statement says it all - whether you accept cookies or not, you're getting tracked. It's like asking someone "Would you prefer I spy on you through the front door or the back window?" Either way, your data's being harvested faster than you can say "privacy policy." The funniest part? Companies actually spent millions on those cookie consent popups just to implement this exact logic behind the scenes. Talk about malicious compliance!

No I Can't Hack Your Facebook
Security Programming
3 months ago 121.1K views 0 shares
No I Can't Hack Your Facebook
When you tell someone you're a "hacker" and they immediately assume you're a criminal who can break into any account... The frustration is so real it requires lethal force! This is basically the cybersecurity equivalent of telling someone you're a doctor and them immediately asking you to look at their weird rash in the middle of a dinner party. The absolute disconnect between actual security professionals (who spend their days writing documentation and staring at logs) versus the Hollywood "I can hack the Pentagon with three keystrokes" fantasy never gets old.

Wrong Database, Right Career Move
Databases Security Programming Debugging
4 months ago 181.0K views 0 shares
Wrong Database, Right Career Move
That moment when you accidentally run a query on production instead of staging. First panel: mild panic. Second panel: realizing you just leaked 2.5 billion users' data and your résumé is already outdated. The best part? That smile isn't happiness—it's the face of someone who knows their career just ended but the severance package will be spectacular. Nothing says "database engineer" like casually sipping coffee while committing digital arson.

Php Programmers Want Money
php Webdev Javascript Programming
6 months ago 179.1K views 0 shares
Php Programmers Want Money
Subtle genius at work here. In PHP, all variables start with a dollar sign ($), but the joke pretends it's because PHP developers are desperately chasing money rather than just following syntax rules. Meanwhile, JavaScript developers are over here using camelCase like they're riding economic humps to prosperity, and Python devs think whitespace will somehow pay their bills. The irony? PHP powers ~78% of the web, including Facebook, which literally prints money. So maybe those dollar signs were prophetic after all.

Persistent Feelings
Cloud
6 months ago 57.9K views 0 shares
persistentFeelings | google-memes, security-memes, facebook-memes, cloud-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Niels Hoekman 3rd Cloud Native Security that delivers... Follow 6d "ex-Facebook", "ex-Google", "ex-Netflix" or "ex-whatever. Am I the only one who would never put this in my headline? Just get over it, or go back to your ex

Can You Make An App Similar To Facebook
Programming
6 months ago 64.7K views 0 shares
canYouMakeAnAppSimilarToFacebook | facebook-memes, reddit-memes, IT-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content 5:05 E 420100 StrictPoint7315 StrictPoint7315 3 karma redditor for 1y 3m View profile FEB 05 StrictPoint7315 1:43 PM Can you make an app similar to Facebook O GrandLate7367 2:56 PM Hi, yes, sure Whay you need it tho? NEW FEB 09 Strict Point 7315 2:48 PM To run it online GrandLate7367 2:59 PM Then no problem. It will cost just 1 m StrictPoint7315 3:27 PM Where are you from? Message StrictPoint 7315

Programming Books (affiliate)

Head First Design Patterns: A Brain-Friendly Guide
Head First Design Patterns: A Brain-Friendly Guide
Mastering Go: Leverage Go's expertise for advanced utilities, empowering you to develop professional software
Mastering Go: Leverage Go's expertise for advan...
JavaScript Cookbook: Programming the Web
JavaScript Cookbook: Programming the Web

What Iam Not
Programming
7 months ago 144.4K views 0 shares
whatIamNot | programmer-memes, hacker-memes, program-memes, facebook-memes, laptop-memes, repair-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Raf Rasenberg rafrasenberg What I am: - Programmer What I'm not: - Facebook Hacker - Printer Wisperer - Laptop Repairer - Spreadsheet Wizard - App Troubleshooter - E-mail Assistant - Bluetooth Ninja

Interviews
Programming
8 months ago 68.5K views 0 shares
interviews | coding-memes, facebook-memes, date-memes, IT-memes, language-memes, interview-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Dan grapplingdev 18h The most bizarre coding interview I've ever done was at Facebook when as usual I asked a candidate to write in any language of their choice... And they nonchalantly said "I'll write it in Redstone", to which I almost let loose a chuckle until...