Programmer 
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Why someone would use as a first programming language: Python: For it’s simple syntax Java: To learn basic computer science concepts C: See Java BASIC: They were in cryogenic storage since 1968 Bash: To make themselves feel productive Git: To actually, why would someone use Git as their FIRST language? HTML: To make themselves feel like a programmer CSS: To make themselves feel like a cooler programmer JavaScript: They have a really good idea for a website TypeScript: They have a REALLY good idea for a website Brainfuck: They want to gain new respect for Alan Turing C: Meth addict that needs the same speed from their language C: Cocaine addict that needs the same speed from their language Carbon: To get a head-start on the 10-year job requirement PHP: Masochism Fortran: Masochism but with a better paycheck Rust: Cult induction Microsoft Excel: To feel like a geek without being a programmer Game of Life: Ooh… pretty squares.