What If I Told You The Remember Me Feature Is A Lie

STOP. EVERYTHING. The sheer AUDACITY of changing "loading..." to "thinking..." and suddenly declaring yourself an AI startup! 💅 The venture capitalists are literally THROWING money at their screens right now! Who needs actual innovation when you can just rebrand a progress spinner and add "agentic" to your pitch deck? Congratulations, you've just increased your valuation by 500 million dollars for absolutely NOTHING. Silicon Valley, take notes! This is how you disrupt an industry - one loading state at a time! *chef's kiss*

Ah, the funeral for uBlock Origin, scheduled for July 2025. Firefox is there pointing at the tombstone like "you seeing this?" while Chrome stands nearby looking suspiciously guilty. Google's plan to kill ad blockers with Manifest V3 is basically sending flowers to its own revenue stream. Firefox users just sitting here with popcorn watching Chrome users discover what the internet looks like without ad blocking. It's like watching someone experience pop-up ads for the first time since 2005.

The most honest Terms & Conditions dialog in software history. While we blindly check that little box and proceed, this dialog is having none of it. "1208 lines in just a second" is basically calling us all liars, followed by the sadistic 20-minute timeout before you can install. It's the digital equivalent of your mom making you finish your vegetables before dessert, except the vegetables are legalese written by someone who charges $800/hour. Next time just add "firstborn child" to the terms—we'd still click without reading.

Ah, the classic Medium experience. Shows up all excited with pizza (free articles), only to discover the place is literally on fire with paywalled content, AI garbage, and people yelling at each other about tech stacks. Yet we keep coming back like digital masochists. The "Stop using X" articles are particularly chef's-kiss terrible—written by someone who used the technology for exactly 37 minutes before declaring it "fundamentally broken."

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of frontend developers' social lives! 😭 The punchline is a DEVASTATING play on SQL's "JOIN" operation versus physically joining a table in real life. These poor souls can create breathtaking interfaces but can't figure out basic cafeteria mechanics! The horror! The irony! They spend all day connecting data with complex JavaScript but can't connect with ACTUAL HUMANS over lunch. It's the most dramatic case of professional skills NOT transferring to real life I've ever witnessed! Someone please send help... and maybe a tutorial on "How to Socialize: For People Who Only Talk to Browsers".

Remember when we had specific terminology for different software components? Now marketing departments have decided everything is just an "app." Your compiler? App. Your operating system? App. That daemon running critical background processes? You guessed it—app. Next time someone asks what I do for a living, I'm just going to say "I make apps" and save us all 20 minutes of technical explanation that would've been ignored anyway.