authentication Memes

Such Requirements

Such Requirements
Oh. My. GOD! 😱 The absolute AUDACITY of this organization demanding a PIN between 80 and 127 characters?! What am I supposed to do, type out the entire Declaration of Independence as my PIN?! 🔐 This is the security equivalent of asking someone to recite pi to 100 decimal places while standing on one foot during an earthquake. Congratulations, your account is now Fort Knox, but you'll NEVER be able to log in again because WHO REMEMBERS AN 80+ CHARACTER PIN?! The best part? They call it a "PIN" - as if "Personal Identification Novel" was what that acronym stood for all along. At this point, just ask for my DNA sample and firstborn child instead! 💀

Your New Password Can't Be The Same As Your Old Password... Right?

Your New Password Can't Be The Same As Your Old Password... Right?
When a site tells you "your new password can't be the same as your old password," they're supposed to be comparing hashed values, not storing your actual password in plaintext. If they know what your old password was , they've already failed Security 101. The fact that a Fortune 500 company did this is like finding out your bank keeps everyone's money in a shoebox under the receptionist's desk. Ten years in tech and I'm still amazed at how many multi-billion dollar companies can't figure out basic password security.

The OAuth Knockout

The OAuth Knockout
OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of me thinking I could actually finish a project before getting absolutely DESTROYED by OAuth setup! 💀 There I am, boxing gloves on, ready to conquer the world with my BRILLIANT new app idea, strutting around like I'm the next tech billionaire... and then BAM! OAuth shows up and knocks me right off my high horse into the pit of configuration despair. Just sitting there, sipping water, utterly defeated by client IDs, secret keys, and redirect URIs that refuse to cooperate. The dream dies not with a bang but with a whimper of "invalid_grant_error" for the 47th time. And they say programming is fun! THE BETRAYAL!

The Ultimate API Endpoint Workaround

The Ultimate API Endpoint Workaround
This guy just bypassed the age validation with a brilliant regex-like workaround! When most would give up at the 30 > 23 comparison, he identified that emails have no age restriction—the classic "if (rejected) { try_alternative_route(); }" pattern. It's the programming equivalent of getting a 403 Forbidden response and immediately checking if there's an unprotected API endpoint. Smooth operator found the backdoor in the authentication flow!

The Satan's Login System

The Satan's Login System
The kid's "brute-force attack protection" is pure evil genius. While everyone's freaking out over his code, he's just sitting there with that smug little grin. His masterpiece? A login system that shows "Wrong login or password" even when the password is correct—but ONLY on the first attempt. It's basically digital psychological warfare. Every developer in that room just died inside imagining the hours of debugging hell this would cause. The coffee guy spitting out his drink is all of us realizing we'd probably format our entire machine before finding this little gem.

All Security Wants In Return Is To Bring Dev Into Compliance

All Security Wants In Return Is To Bring Dev Into Compliance
The eternal battle between security teams and developers rages on! Security wants SAML (Security Assertion Markup Language) implemented in a dev environment that's literally called "isolated" for a reason. The developer's response? A middle finger and an offer to enable 2FA on static accounts—which is like putting a state-of-the-art lock on a cardboard box. It's the perfect encapsulation of the security-versus-convenience standoff that happens in every enterprise. Security folks wanting Fort Knox protocols for sandboxes while developers just want to ship code without jumping through seventeen authentication hoops for an environment where the worst thing you could leak is test data shaped like "foo" and "bar".

Login Logic

Login Logic
Ah, the classic "did you type your password too quickly? DENIED!" scenario. Twenty years in this industry and websites are still pulling this garbage. Some frontend dev thought they were clever by checking how fast you type your password, as if speed equals automation. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to log in before our coffee gets cold. The best part? The site doesn't even check if the password is correct - just that you didn't type it "suspiciously fast." Brilliant security theater from the same people who probably store your password as plaintext in a CSV file somewhere.

Iamcocked

I am cooked
Ah, the classic "password already in use" error that somehow manages to be both a security feature and a privacy nightmare simultaneously. Nothing says "secure system" like telling you exactly who has the same terrible password. Somewhere, a security engineer is having a stroke while starboy98 is frantically changing all his accounts because he used "password123" everywhere. This is why we can't have nice things in cybersecurity.

Passwords, How Do They Work? (Conversation With A Guy Who Has Been A Developer For 5 Years)

Passwords, How Do They Work? (Conversation With A Guy Who Has Been A Developer For 5 Years)
This conversation is what happens when you skip the "boring" security lectures in CS class. Our green-text hero thinks decrypting password hashes is just another Tuesday feature request, while orange-text is having an existential crisis trying to explain one-way functions. The best part? Five years of development experience and still wondering why we can't just hand out passwords like candy. That final "I can look it up anytime" after completely misunderstanding basic cryptography is peak developer confidence without competence. This is why your bank account gets hacked, folks. Because somewhere out there, a dev is thinking "who cares if you have the decryption algorithm" while building your financial app. Bruh indeed.

Security 202

Security 202
Ah, the infamous Yandex CAPTCHA that's somehow both a security measure and an eye exam from hell. Nothing says "we value your security" quite like forcing you to decipher text that looks like it was written by someone having a seizure while riding a mechanical bull. The irony of a "Security 202" course that requires you to type "delicious erection" to prove you're human is just *chef's kiss*. Somewhere, a security engineer is giggling uncontrollably at their desk while users squint desperately at their screens.

Validation Looking Kinda Thicc Tho

validationLookingKindaThiccTho | code-memes, engineer-memes, engineering-memes, bug-memes, security-memes, devs-memes, function-memes, validation-memes, oop-memes, authentication-memes, recursive-memes, IT-memes, ide-memes, bot-memes, documentation-memes, comment-memes, graph-memes, graphql-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content My team's intern just found a critical bug by shitposting in our codebase So our summer intern (who I'm 90 sure is a professional shitposter moonlighting as a dev) just saved our entire authentication service by being, well, an absolute agent of chaos. Background: We have this legacy auth system that's been running since before TikTok existed. No one touches it. It's documented in ancient Sanskrit and COBOL comments. The last guy who understood it fully left to become a yoga instructor in Peru. Enter our intern. First week, he asks why our commit messages are so boring. Starts adding memes to his. Whatever, right? Then he begins leaving comments in the codebase like: This function is older than me and probably pays taxes TODO: Ask if this while loop has health insurance Here lies Sarah's hopes and dreams (2019-2022), killed by this recursive call The senior devs were split between horrified and amused. But here's where it gets good. He's reading through the auth code (because "the commit messages here are too normal, sus") and adds this gem: yo why this token validation looking kinda thicc though fr fr no cap this base64 decode bussin wait... hold up... this ain't bussin at all Turns out his Gen Z spider-sense wasn't just tingling for the memes. Man actually found a validation bypass that's been lurking in our code since Obama's first term. The kind of bug that makes security auditors wake up in cold sweats. The best part? His Jira ticket title: "Auth be acting mad sus rn no cap frfr (Critical Security Issue)" The worst part? We now have to explain to the CEO why "no cap frfr" appears in our Q3 security audit report. The absolute kicker? Our senior security engineer's official code review comment: "bestie... you snapped with this find ng" I can't tell if this is the peak or rock bottom of our engineering culture. But I do know our intern's getting a return offer, if only because I need to see what he'll do to our GraphQL documentation.

2 factor authentication gone wrong 😂

2 factor authentication gone wrong 😂 | iphone-memes, google-memes, try-memes, password-memes, security-memes, image-memes, authentication-memes, ide-memes, twitter-memes, product-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content soul nate MNateShyamalan bro what is going on at twitter Today 6:45 AM Hey, this is Gary from Twitter. Are you trying to log in? huh? Did vou request 2-factor authentication? wait it's just some guy? thought it'd be like an automated text Nope. Just Gary, pal Here's your password: 1234569 this seems like a security risk Read 6:50 AM Don't know what to tell you buddy Which of these images has a bus? 6:53 nil 56 0 Google Bia boobs magazine Videos GIF HD Product KIX SEX Maps Books Color Usage Rights BiGBOOBS iMessage 8:42 PM 151122 Twitter for iPhone