Everything Is Important

Content chrisk5000 chrisk5000 Almost made fun of an electrician today like "is it an electrician's guild rule that you have to perform 5 minutes of ritual complaining about What Was The Previous Electrician Thinking before you're allowed to fix anything?" but then I remembered I'm a software engineer 6:25 PM Nov 15, 2018 Twitter Web Client 586 Retweets 2.4K Likes ProdrammerHumor.io

Nothing hits quite like a refreshing BIOS error with your slushie! That 7-Eleven machine decided to boot into the most terrifying screen known to PC users instead of dispensing frozen sugar water. The blue screen with error logs is giving major "your motherboard is about to become a paperweight" vibes. Imagine walking up for a Mountain Dew and getting served a kernel panic instead. That's not brain freeze—that's just your system freezing! Somewhere, a sysadmin is frantically trying to SSH into a slushie machine while muttering "I didn't sign up for this." Next time you complain about your deployment failing, remember: at least it's not preventing teenagers from getting their sugar fix.

Content Hi l heard you're into programming, I have a great idea. made with mematic ProarammerHumor.io

Content I've interviewed a lot of people over the last year (Java), and my favorite test is to throw a Stack Trace at them and ask them to figure out what the problem is. The answer is actually quite clear, however. Half of them don't know it's called a stack trace. Some don't know what they're looking at (BYE!). Several focus on the wrong section of proprietary code. Some ask to "open a debugger". however the answer is right there in plain english if you just read the method names. Many don't realize the line numbers are RIGHT THERE, and then start focusing on the lines ending with "Compiled Code". Then there are the ones who work their way up from the bottom, starting with the application container code, and lose their minds. Some who figure out what is happening don't have a solution to prevent it from happening. No, I'm not sharing the trace; suffice to say it's been reviewed by more than 5 of my peers and they all passed. Like Reply 1h Edited I mean, it isn't hard to eliminate people with a coding question. Do you find it impossible to teach people how to read text stack traces, or is this a skill without which they will be unable to do anything of use, or do you just not want to hire anyone? 1 am serious. 1 can come up with dozens of useful programming skills I can test a candidate on that most perfectly skilled programmers would fail. Start with eliminating people who can't code at all. Then find out what they can do that could be useful. If I have 5 people who can already take a printed out stack crash dump, I probably don't need another, and if I do, a qualified candidate can be taught that skill by someone who knows it in under a week. Then again, maybe you work for Stack Trace Inc, and your entire job is looking at stack traces. If so, by bad. Like Reply 22m

That fence is basically production code after the deadline hit. Someone clearly said "it works, ship it!" despite the glaring white gate hack in the middle. Classic technical debt in physical form! The temporary solution became permanent because hey—it keeps dogs in and burglars out, just like how that spaghetti code somehow passes all the tests. Who has time for clean architecture when the client is breathing down your neck?

Ah, the classic software development cycle illustrated with feline precision! First panel: We start with a beautiful blueprint cat—meticulously designed with perfect proportions and elegant lines. Engineering perfection! Second panel: Resource allocation at its finest—80% of effort goes to the tail (that feature nobody will use), 14% to the legs (core functionality), 4% to the head (user interface), and a whopping 2% to the actual body (everything else that matters). Third and fourth panels: The pre-beta and post-beta cats look identical because let's be honest—nobody actually fixes anything during beta testing. Fifth panel: What the customer wanted? A FREAKING TIGER. Not even remotely close to a house cat. Sixth panel: Two versions later, the software has evolved into... a cat with an existential crisis and identity issues. Final panel: The ultimate truth bomb—despite delivering something completely wrong, users still stick around with a resigned "I still like you anyway." And the software's response? "TOOTS." Because at this point, it's just farting out updates.