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The ABSOLUTE HORROR of fixing production database issues at 2 AM with zero documentation! 😱 Those bloodshot eyes aren't just tired—they're the windows to a soul that's been utterly DESTROYED by some random developer's "clever" SQL query that worked "just fine on my machine." Your eyeballs have transcended mere substances—they've reached a new plane of existence that even cocaine users would find concerning. Who needs sleep when you're frantically trying to understand why someone thought it was a brilliant idea to use 17 nested JOINs without a single comment?! The database is bleeding, your sanity is evaporating, and tomorrow's standup is in 5 hours. But hey, at least you'll have a fascinating story about how you saved the company while looking like you crawled out of a zombie apocalypse!

Ah, the evolution of databases in one SQL statement. This dev is basically saying "forget all those fancy PostgreSQL data types – just give me an ID and a JSON blob and I'll figure out the rest." It's the database equivalent of saying "I don't need a fancy toolbox, just give me duct tape and WD-40." What's hilarious is this is literally how MongoDB was born – "schemas are too restrictive, just throw everything in a document!" Now we've come full circle with PostgreSQL's JSONB type, letting relational database purists secretly use NoSQL patterns while still feeling superior. It's like wearing a MongoDB t-shirt under your Oracle business suit.

Content X Orgatekeeping 27.4k y 1.5k Share Award drdeadkin 13h Oh? You like environmentalism? Name every environment Reply 4 642 delicious desiccant 8h Plains, Savannah, Taiga, Forest, Desert, Mesa, Extreme Hills, Ocean, Ice Plain, and Mushroom, I think? 4 297 jorgtastic 7h 2 Awards you forgot "hostile working" 268 J Kittimm 3h G 1 Award And Java Runtime 4 69 u

Content Life Advice Online C Reference Friendshio is not transitive (a friend of vour friend is not your friend). Friendship is not inherited (vour friend's children are not your friends, and your friends are not your children's friends).

OMG, the absolute HORROR of seeing a Python dev using print() statements instead of proper logging! 😱 It's like watching someone use a butter knife to fix an electrical outlet! Sure, importing that logging module takes a WHOLE EXTRA LINE of code and the UNBEARABLE AGONY of typing 'import logging' instead of just sprinkling print() statements everywhere like confetti at a debug party. But honey, when your production server is on fire at 2AM and you can't find which of your 500 print() statements is relevant, you'll be BEGGING for timestamp and log levels! The walk of shame depicted here is just *chef's kiss* PERFECTION.

Content Coders Who Drink Coffee Have "Growth Mindset' Because Plants Grow DIVISION A recent study by the Caffeine Institute of Technology (CIT) suggests that the "growth mindset" is a consequence of drinking the "essence" of the coffee plant which, like all other plants, grows very large from a tiny seed. One of the participants, buzzing with excitement, proclaimed, "I'm a plant! I'm a freaking plant! Bow down to my pistils, mortals!" He then wrote a compiler in Rust for his very own programming language and refused to code "mainstream garbage" anymore. CIT Researcher, Dr. Jav A. Mocha, states, "The