It's Too Late For Me

The eternal lie every VS Code user tells themselves. "Just one more extension and I'll be productive, I swear!" Meanwhile, IntelliJ users are watching from their fortress of integrated features, sipping coffee and judging silently. Truth is, we're all just trying to avoid actually writing code by endlessly customizing our environment. The plugin rabbit hole is deeper than any Stack Overflow thread you've ever fallen into.

The JavaScript ecosystem has reached peak absurdity with a package called "is-thirteen" that literally just checks if a number equals 13. That's it. That's the entire functionality. But wait! The prophecy foretells an even greater absurdity: someone creating "is-not-thirteen" that imports "is-thirteen" as a dependency just to negate its return value. Because why write num !== 13 when you could add two more dependencies to your already bloated node_modules folder? And the worst part? Deep down we all know it's inevitable. The npm wasteland grows stronger with each passing day.

Oh my goodness, this is PEAK resume padding energy! 😂 That one sad little "Hello World" program standing awkwardly among your professional projects like it BELONGS there! Nothing screams "desperate to fill white space" like putting your first-ever for-loop next to your actual accomplishments! It's the coding equivalent of listing "proficient at Microsoft Word" when applying to be a senior developer! The contrast is just *chef's kiss* perfect - your fancy React project right next to "I once made a calculator that sometimes works"!

Oh HONEY! Why settle for boring old robots.txt when you can have clankers.txt guarding your website?! 💅 The absolute AUDACITY of using the standard file name when you could be SERVING DRAMA with a Star Wars prequel reference! This is the web crawling equivalent of showing up to a costume party in a store-bought outfit when you could've SLAYED in full Separatist battle droid couture! The search engines will be GAGGED!

You innocently change a single CSS property, expecting a minor tweak. Your website responds by transforming into a shocked Pikachu—completely broken and utterly baffled by your audacity. That margin-left: 2px; somehow shifted your entire navigation bar into another dimension. The cosmic law of frontend development: no matter how insignificant the change, CSS will find a way to make your layout question its entire existence.

THE AUDACITY! 😱 Developer thinks they're being sooo clever testing their API on localhost, only to have Postman drop the ultimate truth bomb: "You need the internet." GASP! The look of utter betrayal in that last panel is sending me! It's like finding out your coffee has been decaf all along. HELLO?! The whole point of localhost is that it's LOCAL! It's literally in the name! The crushing realization that your API testing tool needs internet to test something that doesn't need internet is the definition of irony wrapped in a burrito of frustration. The circle of tech life: thinking you've outsmarted the system only to be outsmarted by it. 💀