Now It Makes Sense

database sql development Software engineering Crud Database operations

Databases Programming Backend

2 months ago 90,984 views 0 shares

Now It Makes Sense

database-memes, crud-memes, sql-memes, development-memes, programming-humor-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

FINALLY! The dark truth behind database operations is EXPOSED! 🚨 While professors feed us the sanitized "CRUD" acronym (Create, Retrieve, Update, Delete) like we're innocent children, real-world developers know it's actually "FUCK" (Find, Update, Create, Kill). The transition from classroom to cubicle is BRUTAL, sweetie. One day you're writing pristine SQL queries, the next you're frantically typing "DROP TABLE" at 2am while questioning your career choices. The database doesn't care about your feelings - it only understands violence. 💀

More Like This

The proper way to store passwords

Databases Programming Backend

4 years ago 24.9K views 0 shares

The proper way to store passwords | password-memes, rds-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content No text found in image

The Current Job Market

Databases Typescript AWS Javascript Python

4 months ago 506.9K views 0 shares

theCurrentJobMarket | html-memes, css-memes, javascript-memes, software-memes, java-memes, linux-memes, engineer-memes, software engineer-memes, ux-memes, aws-memes, try-memes, node-memes, nodejs-memes, security-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, spring-memes, mongodb-memes, typescript-memes, bash-memes, docker-memes, selenium-memes, maven-memes, jenkins-memes, mongo-memes, springboot-memes, c#-memes, gcp-memes, ide-memes, ML-memes, terraform-memes, nosql-memes, ci/cd-memes, kubernetes-memes, cs-memes, graph-memes, graphql-memes, tcp-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

[text] 2020 Company We hope you have a pulse because were about to pay you 100k and teach you everything you need to know Me Yay Im a software engineer 2024 Company You must know SQL Java Kubernetes Docker AWS Terraform Jenkins CICD C ServiceNow NoSQL GraphQL Typescript Spring SpringBoot Selenium Maven JUnit Javascript Jest NodeJS MongoDB Angular HTML CSS TCP IP Linux Virtualization TLS GCP Bash have active security clearance masters degree CS or related field and mi um 10 years of experience. Please provide cover letter academic transcript and 3 professional references. Posted now. Entry level role 22.50hr. 800 applications job expired. made with mematic

Just passing through

Databases Backend

11 months ago 37.8K views 0 shares

Just passing through | server-memes, mysql-memes, sql-memes, oracle-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content ORACLE PostgreSCK SOL Server MysQL' SYBASE IBM DB2. A Microsoft Access X Excel I PREFER A REAL DATABASE I SAID A REAL DATABASE PERFECTION

Every Cloud Architecture

Databases Cloud

8 months ago 18.0K views 0 shares

everyCloudArchitecture | engineer-memes, global-memes, data-memes, database-memes, cloud-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content EVERY CLOUD ARCHITECTURE GLOBAL ASSUMPTIONS CIDR SHENANIGANS MANAGED SERVICE MIS UN- MANAGED MANAGEABL SERVICE SERVICE RO FRICKIN' SLICK REVERSE PROXY VPN oF SADNESS CONTAINERS!! I LOOK AT ALL THESE CONTAINERS COOL DATABASES MIDNIGHT HEROICS THE DATA ENGINEERS COT VERY EXCITED HERE EVENT BUS RSUME BLAME RADIUS SERVICES SERVICES THAT THAT START STOP STUFF STUFF forrestbrazeal REAL DATABASE SERVICES THaT LIKE TO WATCH ONE TINY CRON JOB THAT KEEPS EVERYTHING FROM FALLING APART DATA LAKE E3 DATA SWAMP

Everything Is CRUD

Databases Webdev Javascript Programming Backend

12 days ago 69.6K views 2 shares

Everything Is CRUD

The bell curve of developer intelligence strikes again! On both ends of the IQ spectrum, you've got the enlightened ones chanting "Everything is CRUD" with peaceful smiles. Meanwhile, the poor souls in the middle are sweating bullets about "complex architectures and states" while their hair falls out. It's the perfect representation of how programming wisdom comes full circle. Beginners think everything is just Create, Read, Update, Delete. Then you "evolve" into overengineering everything with state machines and microservices. Finally, after years of maintenance hell, you reach nirvana: "Wait, this all could've been a simple CRUD app." The true galaxy brains know that 90% of software is just moving data around in fancy costumes.

When the middle management wants new microservices to appear more productive

Databases Python Backend Cloud

8 months ago 54.1K views 0 shares

When the middle management wants new microservices to appear more productive | code-memes, management-memes, data-memes, security-memes, sql-memes, database-memes, monitor-memes, IT-memes, query-memes, mac-memes, documentation-memes, pip-memes, pipeline-memes, product-memes, dependencies-memes, dependency-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Macie Walkowiak ' macieiwalkowiak 19h This microservice could have been a SQL query 60 17 635 4,761 1 388.6K Matt B aubiematt 17h Replying to maciejwalkowiak I found a microservice once that has no database and only returned the same static values. 8 17 91 ill 9,899 Mikael Floden MikaelFloden 17h Replying to aubiematt and maciejwalkowiak Imagine having to bump dependencies, maintain the build pipeline, add security scanning, code quality, monitoring and documentation for that service S .. 3 17 16 1 2,258 I Matt B aubiematt Replying to MikaelFloden and maciejwalkowiak LOL, none of that was happening, I immediately removed it and replaced it with a hardcoded value wherever it was used. It was a core dependency too! The app was faster and more stable after removing it. We went from like 2 5 alerts a day to zero. 1:37 AM Feb 24, 2023 1,072 Views