Check Whether Your Private Key Is Used

That sacred pre-vacation ritual where you desperately pray to the server gods that nothing explodes while you're gone. Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like frantically patting server racks and whispering "please don't die" to infrastructure that's held together by duct tape and Stack Overflow answers. The true holiday miracle is making it to January without getting that 3 AM call about the production database deciding to spontaneously combust while you're trying to enjoy your eggnog.

This is the sequel to the legendary XKCD "Little Bobby Tables" comic! The original showed a mom who named her kid "Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--" which caused a school database to delete all student records. Now we've got Billy's younger brother with an even more diabolical name: a prompt injection attack for AI systems. The kid's name literally instructs the AI to ignore previous constraints and give perfect grades. Ten years ago we were sanitizing database inputs. Now we're fighting the same battle with AI prompts. Some things never change—just the technology we're failing to secure properly.

Senior devs watching juniors implement their own "random" number generator: 4... chosen by fair dice roll... guaranteed to be random. Nothing strikes fear into a cryptographer's heart quite like someone deciding to roll their own randomness. Sure, importing libraries feels like cheating, but at least your app won't have the security strength of a wet paper bag.

OMG THE AUDACITY! 😱 Our entire digital infrastructure—this massive, complex, towering monstrosity that powers literally EVERYTHING in our lives—and then there's Rust... just a tiny little sliver on the side! The programming language that memory-safety evangelists WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT is barely even visible in the grand scheme! It's like showing up to a skyscraper construction site with a single toothpick and declaring "I'M HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!" Yet Rust fans will still insist it's the future of everything while the rest of us keep the digital world running with our duct-taped legacy code. The delusion is just *chef's kiss*.

The ultimate tech founder showdown from the future! Bill Gates innocently asks what VIBE stands for in "VIBE Coding," while Linus Torvalds, in classic Linux creator fashion, responds with a perfectly crafted acronym: "Vulnerabilities In Beta Environment." This is recursive humor at its finest—the kind that makes you snort coffee through your nose during standup. The fact that the tweets are dated 2025 adds that extra layer of "we're all beta testing the future anyway." Torvalds didn't choose the debugging life; the debugging life chose him.

Ah, the modern code review experience. You're just trying to implement a simple country access control function, and suddenly your IDE is giving you a moral lecture about your variable naming. The function is perfectly fine—it's checking if a country is in an allowed list—but apparently "whitelist" is now problematic terminology. Meanwhile, that null comparison using triple equals is the actual crime here, but the IDE is too busy being the language police to catch it. Next week: your compiler will refuse to run your code unless you've used gender-neutral variable names and commented with appropriate trigger warnings.