Anti-Pattern Alpha

There's commenting code, and then there's weaponizing comments. While you're over there documenting your elegant solutions, some developers are crafting elaborate manifestos defending why they chose to implement a singleton that manages 47 global variables with a switch statement that's 300 lines long. The truly diabolical part? The comments are so well-written that the next developer thinks, "This person clearly thought this through." No, Chad, they just have excellent PR skills for their terrible code crimes.