Developer excuses Memes

Posts tagged with Developer excuses

And I Write Garbage Professionally
Java Programming
1 day ago 65.8K views 0 shares
And I Write Garbage Professionally
OMG the MENTAL GYMNASTICS we go through to justify our coding inadequacies! 🤸‍♀️ First we're like "I hate Java but I'm TOTALLY a coding genius" then we're like "OK fine I'm garbage at programming BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I hate Java!" It's the programmer's version of a breakup: "It's not you Java, it's me... but also it's definitely you." The absolute AUDACITY of us to blame the language while writing spaghetti code that would make an Italian chef weep! We're all just out here writing trash code professionally and looking for someone else to blame. PEAK DEVELOPER ENERGY!

Time Is Of The Essence
Programming Devops Agile Debugging Testing
7 days ago 52.8K views 3 shares
Time Is Of The Essence
Ah, the classic developer self-deception pipeline! First stage: "Clean code? Pfft, that's for people with time to spare." Second stage: "It's just a prototype, don't judge!" Third stage: "I'll definitely refactor this... someday." Final stage: "Well, this spaghetti code is now a load-bearing wall in production and my boss wants new features yesterday." The transformation from confident developer to technical debt clown is complete! The greatest fiction in software isn't science fiction—it's the myth of "I'll clean it up later."

Its Just Scaffolding
Git Devops Agile Programming Frontend
10 days ago 74.6K views 0 shares
Its Just Scaffolding
This meme perfectly captures that moment of pure dread when your "it's just scaffolding" PR turns into a code apocalypse. You confidently hand over your pull request to the senior engineer, only for them to discover you've somehow managed to change 741 files with nearly 100,000 additions and 44,000 deletions. That look of absolute horror on the senior dev's face is worth a thousand compiler errors! Next time maybe try explaining that you were "refactoring the architecture" instead of "accidentally committing the entire node_modules folder." The scaffolding excuse works about as well as "the dog ate my deployment keys."

No Docs No Tests
Testing Devops Agile Programming Debugging
10 days ago 69.2K views 0 shares
No Docs No Tests
Oh look, it's Sun Tzu's lesser-known chapter on software development! Nothing says "I'm a 10x developer" quite like attributing your laziness to ancient Chinese military strategy. This is the battle cry of every developer who's about to unleash pure chaos into production. "Focus on building, not on tests and docs" is just fancy talk for "I'll let future me (or some poor soul who inherits my code) deal with this dumpster fire." The irony of using a military strategist who meticulously planned everything to justify skipping documentation is just *chef's kiss*. Next up: "The database will figure itself out" - Albert Einstein, probably.