Software design Memes

Posts tagged with Software design

Srsly Who Names These Laws

Srsly Who Names These Laws
OH. MY. GOD. Whoever came up with this "Law of Demeter" deserves both a Nobel Prize and a slap across the face! ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ It's literally the most RIDICULOUS way to explain encapsulation in programming history - comparing object methods to nose-picking etiquette?! I'm deceased! ๐Ÿ’€ For the uninitiated: The Law of Demeter is actually a serious design principle that says objects should only talk to their immediate friends (direct dependencies), not friends of friends. It prevents your code from turning into a codependent mess where everyone's all up in everyone else's business. But sure, let's explain complex software architecture with nose-picking metaphors. Because THAT'S what makes computer science approachable! Next up: Garbage collection explained through bathroom etiquette! ๐Ÿšฝ

The Real Reason Behind Onion Architecture

The Real Reason Behind Onion Architecture
The truth finally revealed by a battle-scarred architect! Onion Architecture isn't named for its elegant layers of separation and dependency flow. Nope. It's named for the tears you'll shed when some junior dev decides that direct database access from the UI layer is "more efficient." Nothing says "architectural integrity" like finding repository implementations scattered across 47 different projects because "inheritance was too complicated." The real layers of the onion are just varying depths of developer suffering.

Keep The Giraffe Dry

Keep The Giraffe Dry
Classic product development in four panels! The team builds an umbrella for a giraffe without understanding the actual problem. The manager asks if they discussed requirements with the user, and the dev sheepishly admits they thought "umbrella" was obvious. Then comes the revelation - the real user story isn't "build umbrella" but "keep giraffe dry" - which leads to a much more sensible solution: an umbrella above the giraffe's head instead of one held awkwardly in its... hooves? Hands? Whatever giraffes have. This is why we have user stories instead of feature requests. Because your client doesn't want a "login system with OAuth2 integration" - they want "customers to securely access their account without forgetting passwords." The difference is everything.

How To Make Tea With Zero Instructions

How To Make Tea With Zero Instructions
The tea bag is still wrapped in its paper, sitting in cold water with the string hanging outside the mug. Classic case of "it's so obvious, why would I document it?" syndrome that plagues software development. Future maintainers of this tea codebase will spend hours debugging why caffeine isn't being properly instantiated. Remember folks, what's intuitive to you is a complete mystery to someone who's never brewed that particular blend before!

The Single Responsibility Principle's Worst Nightmare

The Single Responsibility Principle's Worst Nightmare
The eternal software engineer's dilemma, perfectly illustrated by Emperor Kuzco. On one shoulder, the devil whispers "just cram that new functionality into your existing bloated class and call it a day." On the other, the angel begs you to consider proper architecture. Meanwhile, you're standing there with that blank stare, knowing you'll choose technical debt now and regret it during code review later. The single responsibility principle weeps silently in the corner.

Can You Find The Bug?

Can You Find The Bug?
The bike represents a classic web architecture where everything is duct-taped together with questionable integration. The back-end (purple part) and front-end (green part) are connected by a REST API that's literally plastic wrap and tape. This is what happens when your "microservices" architecture is designed during a hackathon at 4am fueled by energy drinks and desperation. The developers stand proudly next to their monstrosity as if they've just revolutionized computing. Spoiler: they haven't.

New And Improved (But Nobody Asked For It)

New And Improved (But Nobody Asked For It)
OMG, the AUDACITY of software companies! ๐Ÿ™„ You had ONE JOB - make a simple hammer that WORKS. But nooooo, version 2.0 just HAD to add seventeen unnecessary tools, a digital clock nobody asked for, and probably requires twice the system resources! What's next? Hammer 3.0 with Bluetooth connectivity and a subscription model?! Just let me hit things without needing to download a 2GB update that breaks the original functionality! I swear the only thing getting hammered here is my patience with these "improvements"!

The Creativity Of End Users

The Creativity Of End Users
Software engineers: "Our UI is so intuitive, users don't need documentation!" The users: *sleeps on top of the dog house instead of inside it* The eternal gap between developer assumptions and user behavior is basically the entire field of UX research in one image. No matter how "obvious" your design is, someone will find a way to use it in ways you never imagined โ€” like how users will paste formatted text into your carefully designed input fields and break your entire database. Fun fact: Microsoft once found that 90% of feature requests they received were for features that already existed. Users just couldn't find them!

Trying To Make Any Changes In The Code

Trying To Make Any Changes In The Code
Oh. My. GOD. The eternal software development NIGHTMARE in one perfect image! ๐Ÿ˜ญ On the left: you're drowning in a tangled mess of spaghetti code where changing a PROFILE IMAGE SIZE somehow breaks the entire system. Like, excuse me?! I just wanted to make an avatar 2 pixels larger and now the whole application is having an existential crisis! On the right: you've got this pristine architectural masterpiece with all the fancy buzzwords - but SURPRISE! - adding one tiny feature means touching 10 different services and dependencies, which means you're basically rewriting the entire codebase anyway. The grass is NEVER greener in software development. You're either battling a monster you didn't create or a monster you meticulously designed yourself. There's just no winning! ๐Ÿ’€

Always Think That Your User Is Stupid

Always Think That Your User Is Stupid
The classic developer-user relationship in its natural habitat. The programmer sits there in shock watching the user drink software straight from a cup like it's morning coffee. Meanwhile, the user has no idea why anything's wrong โ€“ they're just trying to use the product in ways no sane developer could have anticipated. After 15 years in this industry, I've learned that no matter how idiot-proof you make your interface, the universe just builds a better idiot. The real skill isn't writing code โ€“ it's predicting the creative ways users will break it.

Everything Is CRUD

Everything Is CRUD
The bell curve of developer intelligence strikes again. The 55 IQ junior dev thinks everything is just CRUD because they've only built simple apps. The 145 IQ senior architect also thinks everything is CRUD because after years of overengineering, they've realized most problems boil down to "create, read, update, delete" with fancy clothes on. Meanwhile, the 100 IQ mid-level developer is sweating about "complex architectures and states" because they're just experienced enough to know how complicated things can get, but not wise enough to see the underlying simplicity. The circle of developer life.

Finally Reached The Limit Of Object Oriented Programming

Finally Reached The Limit Of Object Oriented Programming
What starts as a simple "model a car" assignment quickly descends into quantum physics. Just another day where inheritance hierarchies spiral out of control until you're implementing abstract quarks. And they wonder why the project is six months behind schedule. Next week: implementing the String Theory interface because someone in management read about it in a magazine.