bad code Memes

Enron Architecture

3 days ago 169.5K views 0 shares

When your codebase is so sketchy it's basically a federal crime. Building financial products with code so questionable you're not networking at meetups—you're collecting character witnesses for your inevitable trial. Two lawyers, three cops, a judge, and almost Maduro? That's not a professional network, that's a legal defense dream team in the making. Your architecture isn't just bad, it's "cooking the books" level fraudulent. At least Enron had the decency to collapse quickly—your technical debt is the gift that keeps on giving to law enforcement.

When The Code Is Written Entirely By AI

AI Programming Debugging

4 days ago 224.9K views 0 shares

Rick confidently throws a portal at the wall, expecting it to work. Cut to him staring at a wall covered in nested if-statements with zero logic inside them. That's your AI-generated codebase right there. You ask ChatGPT for a simple function and it gives you seven layers of conditionals that all check the same thing. No else blocks, no early returns, just pure chaos wrapped in the illusion of structure. Sure, it might technically run, but good luck explaining to your team why there are 47 if-statements doing absolutely nothing productive. The best part? The AI will confidently tell you it's "optimized" and "follows best practices." Meanwhile you're left refactoring what looks like a choose-your-own-adventure book written by someone who's never heard of boolean logic.

I'm Beggin

Devops Agile Programming Backend Cloud

4 days ago 276.2K views 0 shares

Nothing says "career advancement" quite like desperately pleading to avoid accountability. Because who needs ownership, code reviews, or the ability to sleep at night when you can just... not be responsible? The beautiful irony here is that becoming a service owner means you'd actually have to care about uptime, monitoring, and those pesky production incidents. Much better to stay in the shadows where your technical debt can compound interest-free and your spaghetti code remains someone else's problem. Pro tip: if you're begging NOT to own something, you've probably already written the exact kind of code that makes service ownership a nightmare. The circle of life continues.

It Works But Only One Time

Csharp Programming Debugging Databases Backend

13 days ago 273.4K views 1 shares

Someone wrote a method to count employees, but there's a tiny problem: it deletes ALL the employees from the database first, then counts how many are left. Spoiler alert: zero. Every single time after the first run, you're counting an empty table. The function technically works once—before it nukes your entire workforce into the digital void. The best part? They're using using statements for proper resource disposal, so at least the database connection is being cleaned up responsibly while the employee data gets yeeted into oblivion. Priorities, right? Pro tip: maybe fetch the count BEFORE running DELETE FROM. Or better yet, don't run DELETE FROM at all when you just want to count rows. That's what SELECT COUNT(*) is for. Your HR department will thank you.

Randomly Stumbled Upon This Code In My Company's Product (CAE Software)

Programming C++ Algorithms Math

15 days ago 238.8K views 0 shares

Randomly Stumbled Upon This Code In My Company's Product (CAE Software)

Someone really said "I could use a loop" and then proceeded to manually hardcode what appears to be quaternion rotation calculations for every possible case. Each line is a beautiful handcrafted snowflake of copy-pasted arithmetic operations with slightly different array indices. This is what happens when you learn programming from a stenographer. The best part? There's probably a single matrix multiplication library function that could replace this entire screen of madness. But no, someone decided to type out hundreds of lines of p.a.c[i] * p.a.c[j] combinations like they were getting paid by the character. The code review must have been legendary. This is peak "it works, don't touch it" territory. Nobody's refactoring this beast because nobody wants to be the one who breaks the CAE software that's been running in production for 15 years.

I Guess They Let The Intern Optimize The App

Windows Microsoft Programming Debugging Backend

1 month ago 315.9K views 0 shares

I Guess They Let The Intern Optimize The App

So Discord's brilliant solution to their memory leak problem is... turning it off and on again? REVOLUTIONARY! Instead of actually fixing why their app is devouring RAM like a starving hippo at an all-you-can-eat buffet, they just implemented a hard reset when it crosses 4GB. That's not optimization, that's just automated panic mode! It's like your car engine overheating, so instead of fixing the cooling system, you just install a mechanism that automatically turns the car off every time it gets too hot. Sure, technically it prevents the engine from exploding, but you're still stranded on the highway every 20 minutes. Genius engineering right there! Someone really looked at this memory leak, shrugged, and said "Have we tried just... restarting it?" And somehow that made it to production. The absolute audacity of calling this a "failsafe" when it's literally just admitting defeat to your own memory management.

Developers In 2020 Vs 2025

AI Webdev Algorithms Javascript Programming

1 month ago 359.2K views 1 shares

The evolution of developer laziness has reached its final form. In 2020, some poor soul manually hardcoded every single number check like they were writing the Ten Commandments of Boolean Logic. "If it's 0, false. If it's 1, true. If it's 2, false..." Someone really sat there and typed out the entire pattern instead of just using the modulo operator like num % 2 === 0 . Fast forward to 2025, and we've collectively given up on thinking altogether. Why bother understanding basic math operations when you can just ask an AI to solve it for you? Just yeet the problem at OpenAI and pray it doesn't hallucinate a response that breaks production. The best part? The AI probably returns the hardcoded version from 2020 anyway. We went from reinventing the wheel to not even knowing what a wheel is anymore. Progress! 🚀

Verbatim What He Wrote Btw

Programming Csharp C++ Java Debugging

1 month ago 234.4K views 0 shares

You know that moment when you're feeling kinda insecure about your coding skills, questioning your entire career path, maybe even googling "is it too late to become a barista"... and then you glance over at your classmate's screen and witness them comparing an integer variable to the LITERAL STRING "positive" in a for loop condition? Like bestie, that loop is NEVER going to execute because 'a' will NEVER equal the word "positive" 💀 And then declaring a variable called "double" (which is a reserved keyword in most languages) equals "balance"? The sheer audacity! The confidence! The complete disregard for syntax! Suddenly your imposter syndrome evaporates faster than your motivation on a Monday morning. Sometimes the best therapy is just... looking at someone else's code and realizing you're doing just fine, actually.

When I Was 12, I Thought My Code Looked "Cooler" With Cryptic Variable Names And Minimal Spacing. The Entire Project Looks Like This.

Javascript Webdev Programming Debugging

1 month ago 229.6K views 0 shares

When I Was 12, I Thought My Code Looked "Cooler" With Cryptic Variable Names And Minimal Spacing. The Entire Project Looks Like This.

Oh, the absolute HORROR of 12-year-old you thinking that hbglp , vbglp , and cdc were the height of programming sophistication! Nothing screams "elite hacker" quite like variable names that look like someone smashed their keyboard while having a seizure, am I right? And that LINE 210? SWEET MOTHER OF SPAGHETTI CODE, it's longer than a CVS receipt! That single line is basically a novel written in the ancient tongue of "I-have-no-idea-what-future-me-will-think." The nested ternaries, the eval() calls, the complete and utter disregard for human readability—it's like looking at the Necronomicon of JavaScript. Young developers everywhere: this is your brain on "looking cool." Please, for the love of all that is holy, use descriptive variable names and hit that Enter key once in a while. Your future self (and literally anyone who has to touch your code) will thank you instead of plotting your demise. 💀

It's Working

Algorithms Programming StackOverflow

1 month ago 237.0K views 0 shares

Someone asked for help printing numbers 1-25 in a clockwise expanding spiral pattern. The "solution" is just five hardcoded print statements with the numbers manually typed out in rows. No loops, no algorithms, no spiral logic—just raw, unfiltered copy-paste energy. The sender confidently declares "It's working" like they just solved P=NP. Technically correct? Sure. The numbers are there. They're in some kind of pattern. Mission accomplished, right? This is the programming equivalent of being asked to build a car and showing up with a skateboard taped to a lawnmower. The person who asked for help said "thanks" which means they either didn't actually look at the code, or they've completely given up on life. Both are valid responses in this industry.

If 'X' Not In Data

Python Programming Debugging Backend

1 month ago 244.4K views 0 shares

When your condition checks if 'X' is NOT in the data AND if some massive pipeline exception error message is also NOT in the data, you're basically saying "if everything is fine AND there's no error, show success." The else block? That's for literally every other scenario in the universe. So yeah, your "failure" div is getting rendered 99.9% of the time because that's the most cursed boolean logic ever written. The condition is so specific it's like saying "I'll only go outside if it's sunny AND there are no clouds AND a unicorn is nearby." Spoiler: you're staying inside.

Well It Does Exactly What It Says

Programming C++ Algorithms Debugging

2 months ago 279.0K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the most deterministic random number generator ever created. This function declares an uninitialized integer 'd', then immediately returns it. Congratulations, you've successfully implemented a "random" number generator that returns whatever garbage value happened to be sitting in that memory location. It's random in the sense that you have no idea what you're getting, but it's definitely not what anyone requesting a random number would want. Task failed successfully.

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