bad code Memes

Verbatim What He Wrote Btw

Verbatim What He Wrote Btw
You know that moment when you're feeling kinda insecure about your coding skills, questioning your entire career path, maybe even googling "is it too late to become a barista"... and then you glance over at your classmate's screen and witness them comparing an integer variable to the LITERAL STRING "positive" in a for loop condition? Like bestie, that loop is NEVER going to execute because 'a' will NEVER equal the word "positive" 💀 And then declaring a variable called "double" (which is a reserved keyword in most languages) equals "balance"? The sheer audacity! The confidence! The complete disregard for syntax! Suddenly your imposter syndrome evaporates faster than your motivation on a Monday morning. Sometimes the best therapy is just... looking at someone else's code and realizing you're doing just fine, actually.

When I Was 12, I Thought My Code Looked "Cooler" With Cryptic Variable Names And Minimal Spacing. The Entire Project Looks Like This.

When I Was 12, I Thought My Code Looked "Cooler" With Cryptic Variable Names And Minimal Spacing. The Entire Project Looks Like This.
Oh, the absolute HORROR of 12-year-old you thinking that hbglp , vbglp , and cdc were the height of programming sophistication! Nothing screams "elite hacker" quite like variable names that look like someone smashed their keyboard while having a seizure, am I right? And that LINE 210? SWEET MOTHER OF SPAGHETTI CODE, it's longer than a CVS receipt! That single line is basically a novel written in the ancient tongue of "I-have-no-idea-what-future-me-will-think." The nested ternaries, the eval() calls, the complete and utter disregard for human readability—it's like looking at the Necronomicon of JavaScript. Young developers everywhere: this is your brain on "looking cool." Please, for the love of all that is holy, use descriptive variable names and hit that Enter key once in a while. Your future self (and literally anyone who has to touch your code) will thank you instead of plotting your demise. 💀

It's Working

It's Working
Someone asked for help printing numbers 1-25 in a clockwise expanding spiral pattern. The "solution" is just five hardcoded print statements with the numbers manually typed out in rows. No loops, no algorithms, no spiral logic—just raw, unfiltered copy-paste energy. The sender confidently declares "It's working" like they just solved P=NP. Technically correct? Sure. The numbers are there. They're in some kind of pattern. Mission accomplished, right? This is the programming equivalent of being asked to build a car and showing up with a skateboard taped to a lawnmower. The person who asked for help said "thanks" which means they either didn't actually look at the code, or they've completely given up on life. Both are valid responses in this industry.

If 'X' Not In Data

If 'X' Not In Data
When your condition checks if 'X' is NOT in the data AND if some massive pipeline exception error message is also NOT in the data, you're basically saying "if everything is fine AND there's no error, show success." The else block? That's for literally every other scenario in the universe. So yeah, your "failure" div is getting rendered 99.9% of the time because that's the most cursed boolean logic ever written. The condition is so specific it's like saying "I'll only go outside if it's sunny AND there are no clouds AND a unicorn is nearby." Spoiler: you're staying inside.

Well It Does Exactly What It Says

Well It Does Exactly What It Says
Ah yes, the most deterministic random number generator ever created. This function declares an uninitialized integer 'd', then immediately returns it. Congratulations, you've successfully implemented a "random" number generator that returns whatever garbage value happened to be sitting in that memory location. It's random in the sense that you have no idea what you're getting, but it's definitely not what anyone requesting a random number would want. Task failed successfully.

Quality Is Rocky

Quality Is Rocky
BEHOLD! The eternal developer journey in its most TRAGIC form! That tiny strip of beautiful, smooth asphalt (aka StackOverflow code) sandwiched between two ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIC stretches of rocky, bumpy disaster (aka your own code). The audacity of thinking you could seamlessly integrate that perfect snippet into your dumpster fire of a codebase! It's like putting a Gucci belt on a potato sack and calling yourself a fashion icon. HONEY, THAT ROAD ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE GOOD! 💀

Who Cares About Time Complexity

Who Cares About Time Complexity
💀 THE AUDACITY of this code! Converting Roman numerals by replacing each symbol with its equivalent in unary notation and then just returning the string length?! This is like solving a math problem by drawing stick figures and counting them. The algorithm's time complexity is the LEAST of our concerns when someone's out here committing war crimes against computer science. Somewhere, a CS professor just felt a disturbance in the force and doesn't know why.

108 Line Long Variable Declaration

108 Line Long Variable Declaration
OMG, THIS CODE IS A CRIME SCENE! 😱 Look at that absolute MONSTROSITY of variable declarations stretching from line 24 to line 140! That's not code, that's a developer's cry for help written in syntax! The poor soul who has to maintain this Unity game is probably rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere. I mean, who needs comments and organization when you can just VOMIT 108 LINES OF VARIABLES into your class? Bonus points for that sad little empty Start() method at the bottom, just sitting there like "please... I just want to initialize something... ANYTHING!"

Yes, I Wrote That Thing 😭

Yes, I Wrote That Thing 😭
Nothing says "I panicked during a coding interview" quite like writing FizzBuzz with three separate if statements and continue in each one. The interviewer's face progression from neutral to facepalm to disbelief is the universal reaction to code that technically works but makes seasoned developers want to throw their mechanical keyboards out the window. Pro tip: If your solution has more continue statements than actual logic, your future teammates are already updating their resumes.

Query Inception: When Your Query Is So Query It Queries Itself

Query Inception: When Your Query Is So Query It Queries Itself
Ah, the classic SQL query written by someone who clearly learned database access from a fortune cookie. The SQL is backwards—it should be "SELECT * FROM Customers" but they've written "FROM Customers SELECT *". The real chef's kiss is that this is wrapped in a method called "GetCustomersQuery" inside a class called "Query" which is also creating an object called "query" of type "Query.Query". It's like naming your dog "Dog" and then calling your dog's puppy "Dog.Dog" and then teaching it a trick called "GetDogTrick()". Four years of computer science for this masterpiece. 💀

The Ultimate Job Security Hack

The Ultimate Job Security Hack
The dark truth no CS professor ever warns you about. Write elegant, maintainable code and you'll be replaced by the next bootcamp grad in 48 hours. Create a tangled nightmare of spaghetti code with zero documentation, and suddenly you've got job security until retirement. The real 10x developer strategy isn't writing more code—it's making yourself unfireable by being the only one who understands the monstrosity you've created. Career hack unlocked!

Useless Loop: Four Hours Of My Life Gone Forever

Useless Loop: Four Hours Of My Life Gone Forever
Ah, the classic "let me wait for this to finish" trap. The code imports the time module, sets runtime to 14400 (exactly 4 hours in seconds), then runs a loop that sleeps for 1 second... 14,400 times. The kicker? This could've been done with a single time.sleep(14400) . But no, some sadistic soul decided to make the computer wake up 14,400 separate times just to check if we're done yet. We've all been there - watching a progress bar, waiting for a build, or running some unnecessary loop because "that's how the senior dev did it." Four hours later, you're questioning your career choices and wondering if becoming a goat farmer might've been the better path.