Code comments Memes

Posts tagged with Code comments

Code Commit Confessions Of A Developer On The Edge

Code Commit Confessions Of A Developer On The Edge
Behold, the RAWEST git commit in the history of software development! This developer isn't just frustrated—they're having a full-blown existential crisis while wrestling with Google's API. The combination of profanity-laden code comments, a random cat image, and a commit message threatening Google engineers is the coding equivalent of throwing your laptop out a 10-story window while screaming into the void. The absolute AUDACITY of writing " too lazy to fix this piece of shit " and then committing it to the repository is the kind of chaotic energy we should all fear. This isn't just technical debt—it's technical bankruptcy with a side of unhinged rage that's going to haunt the next developer who has to maintain this code.

Junior Devs Writing Comments

Junior Devs Writing Comments
The code comment redundancy epidemic has reached street signs! Just like that sign helpfully pointing out "THIS IS A STOP SIGN" under an actual stop sign, junior devs have a special talent for writing comments that state the painfully obvious: // This function adds two numbers function add(a, b) {   return a + b; // Returns the sum } Senior devs scrolling through that code base are experiencing physical pain right now. Remember folks: good comments explain why , not what . Unless you're documenting an API, in which case... carry on with your obvious statements!

Ancient Scriptures

Ancient Scriptures
Ah, the archaeological expedition to decipher your own code from last month. That moment when you need Indiana Jones' skills just to understand what the hell you were thinking. "Why did I use a ternary operator inside a map function nested in a reduce?" The hieroglyphics might actually be easier to translate than whatever caffeine-fueled logic possessed you during that 3 AM coding session. The worst part? You probably left zero comments because "it was obvious" at the time. Congratulations, you've become your own worst legacy code maintainer.

Code Hoarding

Code Hoarding
Ah, the digital equivalent of sweeping dust under the rug. Nothing says "job security" like maintaining a codebase where 60% is commented-out functions nobody dares to touch. The irony of having a function called getKeywords while half the actual keywords function is commented out is just *chef's kiss*. Future archaeologists will study these code fossils and wonder if we were preserving ancient artifacts or just too scared to hit the delete key.

Replacing Commas In Strings With A Lookalike, For Security Reasons

Replacing Commas In Strings With A Lookalike, For Security Reasons
Ah, the classic "security through visual confusion" approach! This developer is replacing commas with Unicode character U+201A (single low-9 quotation mark) which looks nearly identical but won't trigger Airtable's delimiter parsing. The best part is the function name safeComma - as if this hack deserves the word "safe" anywhere near it. It's like putting a fake mustache on your data and calling it "military-grade encryption." This is the programming equivalent of writing "Not a Drug Deal" on your suspicious briefcase. Sure, it technically works, but someday, somewhere, a developer will inherit this code and question all their life choices.

When Your IDE Becomes Your English Teacher

When Your IDE Becomes Your English Teacher
STOP THE PRESSES! The code editor has become the grammar police! 💀 While you're just trying to write some innocent game code with "wanna," the editor is clutching its digital pearls like you've committed a syntax WAR CRIME. Because CLEARLY the most important thing when you're debugging at 2AM isn't fixing that memory leak—it's making sure your comments are FORMAL ENOUGH for the Queen's royal approval. Next thing you know, your IDE will be demanding you wear a tie while coding. THE AUDACITY!

Documentation Is Hard

Documentation Is Hard
BEHOLD! The PINNACLE of technical documentation in all its glory! 🎨 Spent 72 hours coding a complex algorithm that could potentially save humanity, but the documentation? "I'm Tracy." THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE ENTIRE DOCUMENTATION. Future developers will have to perform a séance to understand this code because apparently naming a random person is all the context we need! Next time someone asks why the project is six months behind schedule, I'll just introduce myself and walk away. GENIUS!

Just Ignore And Try Again Later ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just Ignore And Try Again Later ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The code equivalent of sweeping dust under the rug! That comment in the catch block is basically every developer at 4:59 PM on a Friday. "Oh, an exception? I'll just leave a cute little shrug emoticon and a comment promising to fix it 'later' (read: never). Because who needs proper error handling when you can just pretend the problem doesn't exist? Future You will totally appreciate this brilliant strategy when production crashes at 2 AM!

Why Say Many Words When Few Do Trick

Why Say Many Words When Few Do Trick
When your IDE documentation is just ASCII art instead of actual descriptions. The developer who made this struct literally drew a 3D cube in code comments instead of writing proper documentation. Then labeled the vertices A-H and called it a day. Pure chaotic genius! Bonus points for the struct being named "CubeInt" which somehow makes it both obvious and completely unhelpful at the same time. Who needs formal documentation when you can just sketch it out in ASCII?

When I Read My Three Years Old Code

When I Read My Three Years Old Code
Looking at your old code and deciding the only rational solution is to remove your brain, wash it with gasoline, and hope for the best. That feeling when your past self left you a cryptic masterpiece with zero comments and variable names like 'x', 'temp', and 'iSwearThisWorks'. The gasoline is probably more for drinking at this point.

How I Comment My Code

How I Comment My Code
When they say "comment your code," I don't think they meant copying instructions from a pizza box. But honestly, this is more helpful than most comments I've seen in production. At least it's clear what you need to do! Unlike that one function named "doStuff()" with a comment that just says "magic happens here." If only debugging were as simple as opening a box before eating pizza—though both activities do tend to happen at midnight while questioning your life choices.

Asking The Senior

Asking The Senior
Junior: "Where's documentation?" Senior: "I AM THE DOCUMENTATION!" The final boss of every legacy codebase isn't the complexity—it's the grizzled veteran who wrote it all and never bothered documenting a single line. Why write comments when you can just be summoned like some mythical creature whenever something breaks? Nothing says job security like being the human equivalent of a 600-page technical manual that nobody wants to read.