Code comments Memes

Posts tagged with Code comments

Average Code Comment

Average Code Comment
Oh. My. God. This is the EPITOME of every code comment I've ever encountered! Just like this REVOLUTIONARY stop sign that helpfully points out "THIS IS A STOP SIGN" (in case you somehow missed the giant red octagon), developers everywhere are writing comments like: "// This is a variable" "// Loop starts here" "// Function to do the thing that the function name already clearly states" The sheer AUDACITY of stating the painfully obvious while completely ignoring the complex parts that actually need explanation! I'm having flashbacks to codebases where not a SINGLE comment explains WHY something was done, but there are 47 comments telling me that "i++" increments a counter. The TRAUMA is real!

Gitlab Duo Can't Take Any More Of My Coding

Gitlab Duo Can't Take Any More Of My Coding
The eternal struggle of every developer: trying to make sense of your own code. That beautiful moment when you're staring at the screen thinking "What the fuck? Really? Ok let's try to sort this out..." while GitLab Duo (their AI assistant) is probably having an existential crisis trying to understand your spaghetti code. Even the machines are judging your life choices now. The AI assistant that was supposed to help you is basically throwing its digital hands up and walking away.

What The Hieroglyphics Did I Write

What The Hieroglyphics Did I Write
Ah, the classic "who wrote this abomination" moment. That feeling when you return to your own code after a brief hiatus and suddenly it looks like ancient Egyptian artifacts on your screen. Your past self apparently thought, "Documentation? Comments? Nah, future me will totally remember what this spaghetti monster does!" Spoiler alert: you don't. Now you're sitting there, coffee in hand, questioning your career choices while trying to decipher whether that function was brilliant or just sleep-deprived madness. The archaeological dig through your own creation begins...

Ancient Code Archaeology

Ancient Code Archaeology
Ah, the ancient hieroglyphics of your own creation! That moment when you return to code after a fortnight and suddenly it's like deciphering an archaeological find. Your past self apparently thought variable names like x1 , temp_var_final2 , and doTheThing() were perfectly self-explanatory. The caffeine-fueled logic that made perfect sense at 2AM now resembles cryptic runes that would baffle even the most seasoned compiler. And of course, not a single comment to be found—because past-you was clearly writing "self-documenting code" that future-you now wants to throw out the window.

Never Write Funny Comments

Never Write Funny Comments
The special kind of shame that comes from encountering your own "hilarious" code comments years later. That moment when past-you thought "// This function is held together by duct tape and prayers" was comedy gold, but present-you just stares in silent judgment wondering what kind of sleep-deprived monster wrote that. The code probably still works though, so... mission accomplished?

Context In Comments

Context In Comments
Ah, the classic "I'll fix it later" comment that's been sitting there since 2019. The code has an if-else statement that does exactly the same thing in both branches. Someone probably spent hours debugging why their overloaded function wasn't working, then just gave up and wrote this abomination with a promise to fix it "when TypeScript understands overloading well enough." Spoiler alert: they never fixed it, and three devs have since quit rather than touch this cursed file.

But It Is Impossible To Understand Code Without Such Comments

But It Is Impossible To Understand Code Without Such Comments
The pinnacle of useless documentation right here. Just like when your colleague writes // increment i by 1 next to i++ but completely fails to explain why that Byzantine sorting algorithm exists in the first place. The real tragedy is when you return to your own code six months later and find comments like "Fix this later" with no explanation of what "this" is or why it needs fixing. Meanwhile, the actual complex logic remains a mysterious black hole with zero documentation. Pro tip: If your comments could be replaced by a fortune cookie message and provide the same level of insight, you're doing it wrong.

The Conference Call Of Code Reviews

The Conference Call Of Code Reviews
The perfect visual representation of code reviews. That diagram shows a conference call speaker with everyone huddled at the edges, as far away from the microphone as physically possible—just like programmers who write cryptic code but mysteriously vanish when it's time to explain their "genius" in comments. Jeff Atwood's quote is basically the programmer's version of "actions speak louder than words, but we still need the words because your actions make absolutely no sense."

Technical Writer: The Eternal Punishment

Technical Writer: The Eternal Punishment
Poor intern just discovered the eternal punishment that is documentation. That look of betrayal when you realize writing docs isn't a one-off task but a never-ending nightmare that will haunt your entire career. The innocence is gone. The rage is building. Welcome to software development, kid—where code is temporary but documentation is forever. And somehow always outdated anyway.

Exit Employee Sends His Regards

Exit Employee Sends His Regards
The digital time bomb has been planted! Nothing strikes fear into a dev team like inheriting undocumented spaghetti code from someone who just rage-quit. That first day at the new company hits different when you realize you're now responsible for deciphering cryptic variable names, nested if-statements that reach the earth's core, and functions that were clearly written at 4am after a Red Bull marathon. The previous dev left behind their "masterpiece" with zero comments except maybe a passive-aggressive "good luck" somewhere. Technical debt inheritance is the gift that keeps on giving!

When Your Game Logic Handles Your Social Calendar

When Your Game Logic Handles Your Social Calendar
When your game code doubles as relationship management software. Apparently lunch with Fern warrants complete destruction, while Rhode gets the "Do Nothing" treatment. The comments asking "Have we already done this?" and "Who did we go to lunch with?" suggest this developer's memory is as reliable as their version control. Nothing says "professional game development" quite like using array indices to track your social life and enemies list. Somewhere, a code reviewer is quietly updating their resume.

Code Comments Be Like:

Code Comments Be Like:
Ah yes, the classic "stating the obvious" comment. The car door literally says "This DOOR is Blue" while being clearly silver/white. It's the programming equivalent of writing int x = 5; // this is 5 instead of explaining why x needs to be 5. After 15 years in the industry, I've learned that future you will hate past you for these comments. The real documentation we need is "WHY this door is painted differently" not "WHAT color it obviously isn't." Just like your code should explain the how, your comments should explain the why.