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PHP is like that horror movie villain who just won't die no matter how many times you stab it. For three decades, tech bros have been writing PHP's obituary while frantically recommending whatever shiny framework just dropped that week.
Meanwhile, PHP silently powers WordPress, Facebook, and roughly 80% of the internet while the "next big thing" frameworks come and go faster than JavaScript developers change their LinkedIn titles.
The secret to PHP's immortality? It just works. No 12-hour Udemy course needed to display "Hello World." Pure technological cockroach energy.
