PHP is like that horror movie villain who just won't die no matter how many times you stab it. For three decades , tech bros have been writing PHP's obituary while frantically recommending whatever shiny framework just dropped that week. Meanwhile, PHP silently powers WordPress, Facebook, and roughly 80% of the internet while the "next big thing" frameworks come and go faster than JavaScript developers change their LinkedIn titles. The secret to PHP's immortality? It just works. No 12-hour Udemy course needed to display "Hello World." Pure technological cockroach energy.