I Hate PHP Until It Pays The Bills

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Coq: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft ProcrammerHumor

In the software development realm, there's a clear hierarchy of suffering, and PHP sits firmly at the bottom. Nobody wants to touch PHP with a ten-foot keyboard until... dramatic lightning someone actually needs it. The comic perfectly captures that moment when developers would rather sit alone in existential despair than volunteer for general programming tasks, but suddenly spring to attention when PHP is mentioned—not out of enthusiasm, but with the maniacal energy of someone who knows they're about to witness a train wreck and can't look away. It's like finding out your friend needs help moving, and you're suddenly very busy—until they mention their new place has a hot tub. Except the hot tub is full of legacy code and deprecated functions.

Content B 113 1, 205 103 153, 185 5. 131-132, 254 254 233 91, 232 54, 244 154 18, 153, 244 and-line 6, 158 INDEX ptraifft type name 103, 147, 206 push function 77 269 pushback, input 78 pute library function 161, 247 pute macro 176 putchar library function 15, 152, 161, 247 puts library function 164, 247 qsort function 87, 110, 120 qsort library function 253 Quicker, '315. 218, 211. quote character. 19, 37-38, 193 quote character, " 8, 20, 38, 194 r carriage return character 38, 193 raise library function 255 rand function 46 rand library function 252 RANDMAX 252 read system call 170 readdir function 184 readlines function 109 rawline library function 252 recursion 86, 139, 141, 182, 202, 269 recursive -descent parser 123 redirection see inputoutput redirection register, address of 210 register storage class specifier 83, 210 relational expression, numeric value of 42, 44 relational operators 16, 41, 206 removal of definition see undef remove library function 242 rename library function 242 reservation of storage 210 reserved words 36, 192 return from main 26, 164 return statement 25, 30, 70, 73, 225 return, type conversion by 73, 225 reverse function 62 reverse Polish notation 74 library function 248 206

When your issue tracker hits 999 and GitHub just gives up on counting. The PHP source repo sitting there with a casual three-digit cap like it's some kind of achievement badge. Nothing says "we're on top of things" quite like your bug count looking like a pinball machine high score from 1987. At this point they should just add a ✨ sparkle emoji next to it and call it a feature. The real question is: are these 999 issues or has GitHub just stopped counting out of mercy?

Content 6:48 PM 0.9KBsail C 59g 1 am facing this type of error. OS centos 7 PHP 8.0 installed How to resolve this issue. Seniors kind ... See More 198 14 13 Comments 1 Like Comment PEOPLE There's your solution. Just change your code as shown in my screenshot. f Like Reply 10

Content Stephen Gower As someone who has been developing websites since NCSA Mosaic was the only browser available, I'd just like to say that I'm really fcking tired of all the smart assholes out there continuously developing entirely new ways to build web applications. It started simple enough, just html and javascript. Then Cold Fusion. Then java applets. Then java servlets. Then 5 or 6 different Java application servers, EJBs, JSP, struts, XSLT, PHP. But screw all of that. We need Spring. No wait, we need Ruby.and Rails. Wait, we need Query. screw Query. We need AngularJs, and Backbone, and Ember! The world just won't be right until we have 12 different ways to do the same thing in Javascript! Forget all those server-side things you learned. Node js is here! No-wait. F'ck Node. Use Google Go! Honestly how many times are we going to re-invent this wheel? Unless you stay current with all of this nonsense, you basically become unhireable. I'm sure some of you 20 and 30-somethings have already experienced some of this fatigue. Now just imaging 10-15 more years where every 3 years a good portion of what you learned before is now obsolete, and you'll feel like I do.