I Hate PHP Until It Pays The Bills

Content Hello. I am the 00M Killer. THe kernel I'm the special process that the Kernel calls upon When memory Is running out. I have permission to kill other processes in order to prevent chaos. Out of Memory I must follow a series of complex rules in order to decide who I'm gonna kill. But, in the end. BANG I always kIll Apache off. THAT'S RACISM! I don't like that feather. Daniel Stori (turnoff.Us

Content C Python PHP JavaScript

Content to parent favorite on: Pornhub Adult content Montreal OC On-site pornhub.com (NSFW) Come work at the 22nd highest trafficked website in the world. We are looking for: -PHP developers -Senior front-end developers -Senior Product Manager -Senior UIUX designer Must be willing to relocate to Montreal. Email me your CV: A PHP DEV F I'm interested but I don't think I'd be comfortable telling my friends and family that's what I do all day That is understandable. I don't think I would be comfortable telling my family that I develop PHP either.

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'

Security experts: "Use complex passwords, rotate them regularly, never store them in plaintext." Meanwhile, some server admin with their passwords.txt file accessible via direct URL, using "admin" as both username and password: "I'm something of a security expert myself." The tabs open in the background (phpMyAdmin, Cloud Shell, etc.) really complete the masterpiece of digital negligence. Chef's kiss to whoever set up this security nightmare.

The unholy alliance that powers 40% of the internet! WordPress: where engineers who can't write a single line of code and designers who couldn't match colors in kindergarten join forces to create... *checks notes*... the backbone of the modern web. It's like watching two people who failed swimming lessons build a cruise ship that somehow doesn't sink. The perfect platform for when your client says "I want a custom site" but what they mean is "I want to drag and drop some boxes until something appears."