Programming languages Memes

Rust evangelists really said "we're the best programming language" and then proceeded to deliver the most SPECTACULAR roast of themselves. Zero jobs? Check. Zero need to rewrite anything? Double check. Seven unfinished buggy crates masquerading as production-ready? TRIPLE CHECK. But wait, there's more! They'll gaslight you into believing YOUR brain is broken because you find the syntax confusing. "It's not ugly, you just lack the skill issue badge of honor!" Meanwhile, the code looks like someone spilled alphabet soup on a keyboard and called it memory safety. The Patrick Henry reference at the bottom is *chef's kiss* though—"Give me liberty, give me fire, give me TUI apps or I retire" perfectly captures the Rust community's obsession with rewriting every single terminal application in existence. Because apparently htop wasn't good enough until it was oxidized. The brutal honesty here is that Rust solves memory problems by introducing lifetime annotation problems, borrow checker rage-quit problems, and "why won't this compile" existential crisis problems. But hey, at least it's not experimental in the Linux kernel anymore! 🎉

Rust developers will literally fight the borrow checker for 6 hours straight, rewrite their entire codebase three times to satisfy the compiler's existential demands, and still come back screaming "I'VE GOT A MOUTH FULL OF CRABS!" like they just won the lottery. The crab is Rust's mascot (Ferris), and yes, Rustaceans are *that* enthusiastic about their language. They'll tell you about memory safety without garbage collection, fearless concurrency, and zero-cost abstractions while foaming at the mouth. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to write a simple HTTP server without questioning our life choices. But hey, at least their code won't segfault at 2 AM in production... probably.

The Rust evangelists have entered the chat, and they're armed. "Blazingly fast" has become the mandatory prefix for literally every Rust project announcement, to the point where you could make a drinking game out of it (please don't, you'll get alcohol poisoning within 5 minutes on r/rust). It's like the tech equivalent of CrossFit—you'll know someone uses Rust because they'll tell you. Three times. While explaining why your JavaScript is objectively wrong and morally questionable. The phrase has transcended mere marketing buzzword status and achieved meme immortality, right up there with "web scale" and "enterprise-grade." Fun fact: The Rust compiler itself is famously slow, which makes the whole "blazingly fast" obsession even more delicious. You'll wait 45 minutes for your code to compile, but hey, at least it'll execute 3 nanoseconds faster than the Python version!