Tech predictions Memes

The eternal zombie apocalypse that is PHP development. Since 1995, developers have been declaring PHP dead while recommending the hot new framework—ColdFusion, ASP.NET, Ruby on Rails, Django, NextJS—only for PHP to keep shambling along, refusing to die. By 2025, we'll be celebrating its 30th birthday while still writing those same

The tech world's most reliable constant isn't Moore's Law—it's our ability to prematurely declare PHP dead while it quietly powers half the internet. From ColdFusion (1995) to ASP.NET (2002) to Ruby on Rails (2004) to Django (2006) to NextJS (2018), we've spent three decades confidently announcing PHP's funeral while writing our revolutionary frameworks that will "definitely replace it this time." Yet here we are in 2025, celebrating PHP's 30th birthday. The language that refuses to die despite our best efforts. It's like that coworker who keeps surviving layoffs despite doing everything in Comic Sans.

PHP is like that horror movie villain who just won't die no matter how many times you stab it. For three decades , tech bros have been writing PHP's obituary while frantically recommending whatever shiny framework just dropped that week. Meanwhile, PHP silently powers WordPress, Facebook, and roughly 80% of the internet while the "next big thing" frameworks come and go faster than JavaScript developers change their LinkedIn titles. The secret to PHP's immortality? It just works. No 12-hour Udemy course needed to display "Hello World." Pure technological cockroach energy.

Ah, the eternal bathroom standoff between PHP and literally everyone else. After 30+ years of being the internet's punching bag, PHP devs have developed the thickest skin in tech. While other languages come and go with their fancy new paradigms, PHP just keeps chugging along like that legacy codebase nobody wants to touch but somehow powers half the internet. The best part? By 2025, PHP devs won't even flinch at the hate. They'll just be counting their WordPress maintenance contract money while the "modern" JavaScript framework of the week implodes spectacularly. Remember: PHP has been "dying" since 2004, yet somehow still runs 77% of the web. That's not a language—that's a cockroach with job security.