performance Memes

Minor Misclick

20 hours ago 50.2K views 0 shares

Launching regular Visual Studio when you meant to open VS Code is like preparing for a quick bike ride and accidentally firing up a space shuttle. That 10GB monster starts loading all its enterprise features, designer tools, and seventeen billion extensions while your RAM screams for mercy. By the time it finishes launching, you could have rewritten your entire codebase in assembly, learned Rust, and developed a mild caffeine addiction. And God help you if you're on a laptop that's more than 2 years old - might as well go make a sandwich and contemplate your life choices.

There Are Two Types Of People

Programming Webdev C++ Javascript Frontend

1 day ago 61.4K views 0 shares

VS Code users staring blankly at their life choices while WebStorm, CLion, and DataGrip users are doing interpretive dance with their CPU usage. One IDE, zero thoughts. Three IDEs, zero available RAM. The duality of development.

Why Is First Block Much Slower

Javascript Webdev Networking Programming Debugging

2 days ago 99.0K views 0 shares

The first block makes 1000 network calls to add numbers. The second just adds them locally. And yet some developers will still ask "why is my code so slow?" while their app makes HTTP requests to add 2+2. It's like driving to the grocery store to use their calculator when you have one on your phone. Sure, both methods get you the sum, but one involves putting on pants.

The Accidental Launch Countdown

Microsoft Csharp Programming Debugging

2 days ago 74.7K views 0 shares

Accidentally opening full Visual Studio instead of VS Code is like launching a nuclear reactor when you just needed a light bulb. Your RAM collapses into a black hole, your CPU fans reach escape velocity, and what should have been a 2-second startup turns into enough time to brew coffee, redesign your entire life philosophy, and question every career choice that led to this moment. The 51 years isn't hyperbole—it's the perceived time it takes for all those enterprise features to load when you just wanted to edit a single config file.

The Real Malware Was The Security Software We Installed Along The Way

Security Windows Programming

3 days ago 68.2K views 0 shares

The Real Malware Was The Security Software We Installed Along The Way

The eternal irony of "antivirus" software that behaves suspiciously like the very thing it's supposed to protect you from. McAfee and Norton have evolved from useful security tools into resource-hogging subscription services that bombard you with popup notifications while slowing your system to a crawl. The "Change My Mind" meme format perfectly captures the hill many developers and IT professionals are willing to die on. And honestly, who hasn't experienced that moment when your CPU usage spikes to 99% because Norton decided NOW was the perfect time for a "quick scan"? The real malware was inside your computer all along—you just paid for it voluntarily.

How It Feels To Upgrade Ram

Hardware Windows Programming

3 days ago 66.6K views 0 shares

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute DRAMA of RAM upgrades! 💅 Going from 32GB to 64GB? *yawn* Just another Tuesday. Your computer barely notices the difference. It's like getting an extra sprinkle on your already overloaded sundae. But honey, upgrading from 8GB to 16GB? THE TENSION! Your machine goes from "I might die opening Photoshop" to "I guess I can handle two Chrome tabs now." The improvement is noticeable but still not life-changing. And then there's the EARTH-SHATTERING experience of going from 2GB to 4GB! Your computer transforms from a pathetic slug into A LITERAL BEAST WITH MUSCLES! It's like going from crawling through molasses to... slightly faster molasses! The difference is so dramatic you might actually be able to run Windows without it having an existential crisis every five minutes!

Is This Latency Good Enough For Competitive Gaming?

Networking Hardware Gamedev

4 days ago 78.7K views 0 shares

Is This Latency Good Enough For Competitive Gaming?

OH MY GAWD! That latency number isn't just high—it's practically a phone number! 1844674407370970.8 milliseconds?! That's not lag, honey, that's a time machine to the NEXT CENTURY! Your character would die, respawn, graduate college, and start a family before your click even registers. The GPU and CPU are just chilling at 31% and 32% like "not our problem, bestie!" Meanwhile, competitive gamers are out here having meltdowns over 20ms ping. With this setup, you're not playing the game—you're watching a slideshow of what happened last Tuesday. 💀

The Chosen Graphics Setting

Gamedev Hardware Unity Programming

5 days ago 63.6K views 0 shares

When game devs talk about their fancy graphics features, it's like watching Mr. Krabs kick out all the basic effects while keeping the one graphics trick that actually matters. DLSS, motion blur, and chromatic aberration? Get out! But ambient occlusion? "You stay." That one shadow effect that makes everything look 10x better is the chosen one while the rest are just performance-sucking moochers. The perfect visualization of every graphics settings menu where you frantically disable everything except that ONE setting worth keeping.

Somebody Please Fix This

Javascript Webdev Programming Debugging Frontend

6 days ago 69.0K views 0 shares

Ever opened a minified JavaScript file and watched your editor have a seizure? That's the top panel – text editors absolutely losing their minds when they encounter 20 million characters crammed into one unholy line. But 20 million separate lines? No problem! Text editors handle that with a smile, like they're saying "this is fine" while secretly burning your CPU cycles. After 15 years of development, we've perfected everything except making editors that don't choke on production code. The irony is just *chef's kiss*.

Blazingly Fast For First N Minus 3 Packages

Rust Devops Programming

7 days ago 67.6K views 0 shares

Blazingly Fast For First N Minus 3 Packages

Ah, the classic Rust bait-and-switch! The graph shows compile times staying blissfully flat until you hit that magical n-2 threshold, then it's straight to the stratosphere. Rust evangelists: "It's blazingly fast!" Reality: "Yeah, until you add that one more dependency and suddenly your coffee break turns into a lunch hour." The compiler is just sitting there thinking, "I'll let them feel smart for the first few packages... then BAM! Memory safety has a price, and that price is your afternoon."

I'm Just A Poor Boy With Spinning Disks

Hardware Programming

8 days ago 73.2K views 0 shares

THE ABSOLUTE HORROR of admitting you're still using an HDD in 2023! Everyone GASPS! The room falls SILENT! Your developer friends look at you with such PITY and DISGUST, like you just confessed to coding in Notepad or still using Internet Explorer! DARLING, the loading times! THE LOADING TIMES! How do you even FUNCTION waiting those EXCRUCIATING extra seconds for your IDE to open?! It's basically technological TORTURE at this point! Next thing you'll tell me is that you don't have RGB lighting on your keyboard either! *faints dramatically*

The Best Space Heater

Java Devops Programming Backend

9 days ago 77.4K views 0 shares

Freezing to death in your apartment? Don't worry, just run a Gradle build and WITNESS THE MIRACLE! Your computer will transform into a thermonuclear reactor that could heat an entire ZIP code! The desperate "run gradle build" solution is the programmer's equivalent of setting your money on fire for warmth—except this fire comes with a progress bar and enough CPU usage to make your laptop levitate off the desk! Who needs central heating when your development environment doubles as a space heater that could probably be seen from the International Space Station?!

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