Banking Memes

Posts tagged with Banking

Times Are Tough
Programming Databases Backend
14 days ago 63.4K views 0 shares
Times Are Tough
The desperate plight of the modern developer captured in SpongeBob meme format! Mr. Krabs stands before a tombstone marked "#1 COBOL", contemplating whether to disturb the resting place of this ancient programming language for financial gain... before immediately diving in headfirst. COBOL (Common Business-Oriented Language) was created in 1959 and powers approximately 70% of banking transaction systems and 95% of ATM swipes. Despite being declared "dead" countless times, COBOL developers can earn $100k+ salaries simply because nobody wants to learn it anymore. The skills shortage is so severe that during the pandemic, several states desperately called retired COBOL programmers back to work. The grave-digging metaphor is painfully accurate - learning COBOL feels like exhuming digital archaeology, but the financial rewards make even the most principled developers reconsider their stance!

Each Billion Dollar Bank's Tech Reality
Java Webdev Programming Frontend Backend
16 days ago 72.3K views 0 shares
Each Billion Dollar Bank's Tech Reality
HONEY, LISTEN TO ME! The banking industry is having a CRISIS of BIBLICAL proportions! First they're all like "Modern" and "Front" and "End" - cool buzzwords that make developers feel special. But then BOOM! Plot twist! She says "Modern Frontend" and he DARES to respond with "Java Servlet"?! 💀 It's like showing up to a Tesla convention with a steam engine! These billion-dollar banks are STILL running ancient Java servlets from the JURASSIC PERIOD while pretending they're all modern and cutting-edge! The AUDACITY! The DECEPTION! The absolutely prehistoric tech stack masquerading in designer clothes!

Seems Low
Security Networking Devops Programming
1 month ago 86.5K views 0 shares
Seems Low
45 billion hack attempts a day? That's what happens when your password is "Password123" and your security question is "What's your favorite bank?" The funniest part is some poor security engineer at JPMorgan is probably looking at these stats thinking, "Hmm, only 45 billion? Must be a slow Tuesday." Meanwhile, their firewall is screaming in binary and their server room sounds like a jet engine. Banking security is just a high-stakes game of whack-a-mole where the moles have advanced degrees in computer science.

Online Bank Doesn't Know How To Sanitize Input
Security Webdev Programming Databases Frontend
1 month ago 115.2K views 1 shares
Online Bank Doesn't Know How To Sanitize Input
A bank that demands special characters but then bans the most common ones is like a bouncer who insists you wear shoes but prohibits sneakers, boots, and sandals. The irony here is magnificent - they're essentially saying "please make your password secure by using things we've decided are too secure." Next they'll probably ban numbers because they look too much like code. Banking security at its finest, folks.