Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

[text] Firr Firr 7 READ ON TWITTER SAVE AS PDF S FOLLOW AUTHOR EMBED v Im currently unemployed. A recruiter lined me up an interview. …With the employer that just fired me. I wish was making that up SO I HEARD YOURE LOOKING FOR A NEW PROGRAMMER MAY ASK WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PREVIOUS EMPLOYEE holy shit SEE YA TOMORROW FUCKERS Your Interview Is Confirmed Dale 11052021 a1 130 PM Position Programmer Systoms Integration Inerview Location Hiing Managers. please sk for Casey when you arive Please arrive on time with a current copy of your esume. If you need 1o make any changes to this interview please contact us ai S We look forwerd to meeting you. For moro information about 1 ploase Look. Im stable right now doing freelancing. got actual interviews lined up. So have no issue taking a bit of time out of my day to have some fun. So now the biggest question. Do wear a top hat and mustache Or do wear my old uniform to show my commitment Old uniform it is Im still wearing a fake mustache READY FOR MY INTERVIEW TODAY The interview manager called earlier to confirm my appointment. expressed how excited was to chat with about this opportunity. C THEYLL NEVER GUESS The gentleman at the front desk was unfazed by my glorious facial accoutrement. Waiting to get called back by the interview manager. My phone still connects to wifi guess they havent turned that off yet. They asked me to put on a face mask. Not to worry came prepared. The hiring manager is a guy that havent met before. Hes asking the usual questions. The resume passed doesnt have my old job listed by name but its a copy paste of the job listing. He stepped out for a minute asked if needed anything. I mentioned skipped lunch was so nervous so he brought snacks Unfortunately Im in the wrong building for any of my direct coworkers to see. Im in a weird almost windowless office so drive by contact seems slim. hope he gives me a tour you seem like an ideal candidate but Im not really technical enough to ask you some hard questions. Are you okay if go grab one of our engineers Oh my god of course am Its gonna be a minute theyre in a meeting until 2. He brought more snacks welcome to company. Heres a vending machine pretzel and a share size bag of gummy bears Theyre bringing in a guy from shows. Ive seen him in the break room one it twice but dont think ever spoke outside of hellos. Lets see if my disguise holds. I think Ive seen you around. Did you ever freelance here before I think so said. Ive freelanced a lot of places not saying a single lie Chat went well He had to run though so Im back in the waiting area to go head over to the other building and meet the engineering team. It took a minute for me to collect all the snacks. ITS HAPPENING. WERE WALKING OVER NEVERMIND HES WALKING OVER HERE. DOES THIS MEAN MORE SNACKS This poor hiring manager is so confused and not sure whats going on hes defaulting to grab something from the snack basket in the hallway Im sure that engineering realized Im here and are planning their attack strategy. HES HERE. Holy shit. He sat down. Super serious. So are you here to really reinterview for this job l dont understand the re part but would like to know more about this role. He left. This is quickly getting police interrogation levels of awkward. feel I may no longer get any more snacks He sat back down with the hiring manager. Hiring manager was furious didnt mention just got fired from this place. I just said couldnt recall Things change so much in 2 weeks you know. offered him a gummy bear. He politely declined. The fact that Im still sitting in this office after over an hour is an absolute win as far as Im concerned. Im being walked out D so Im not getting the job As intentionally make all the wrong turns to leave. They spent an hour of their time interviewing a reliable well qualified candidate but ultimately realize that it wasnt going to work. I got like 8 bucks in snacks. Who really won here As got to my car had one final moment with the old boss. l just have one question for you. What ripped off my mustache in one dramatic swipe. How did you know it was me Get out of here More from Firr View all