FTP Goes Brrrr

Ancient Egyptians built massive pyramids with nothing but stone tools and manpower. Meanwhile, modern developers need sixteen JavaScript frameworks, three cloud subscriptions, and a $3000 MacBook Pro with 64GB RAM just to center a div. And they still complain about the Wi-Fi being slow.

The evolution of a developer's copy-paste technique is like watching someone level up in a video game. First, you're a noob using the mouse like some kind of digital caveman. Then you graduate to the basic keyboard shortcuts. But the true enlightenment? Spamming Ctrl+C multiple times because you've been burned too many times by clipboard failures. Nothing says "I've been traumatized by lost code" quite like hitting Ctrl+C five times in rapid succession. It's not paranoia if the clipboard really is out to get you.

JSON looking at alternative serialization formats like they're aliens from another dimension is peak developer humor. While JSON has become the undisputed champion of data interchange, these other formats (Protocol Buffers, Thrift, Avro, and Ion) are actually powerful alternatives with better performance and schema validation. But let's be honest - most of us just keep defaulting to JSON because it's everywhere. We'll research these alternatives for that "high-performance microservice architecture," add them to our "things to learn" Trello board, and then immediately go back to JSON.stringify() and call it a day.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this person to stand on that cliff and declare "Most programming languages are actually ok!" The angry mob with pitchforks was READY TO RIOT! But then—PLOT TWIST—they drop the "Python is better than most and HTML isn't one at all" bomb and suddenly everyone's nodding in agreement like little bobbleheads! 😂 It's the programming equivalent of saying "vegetables are good" to a room full of 5-year-olds and then quickly adding "but candy is better and broccoli isn't food." INSTANT CROWD PLEASER! The Python superiority complex combined with the classic "HTML isn't a programming language" debate? *chef's kiss* Absolute genius crowd manipulation!

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute HORROR of sending an email to EVERYONE in the BCC field with their emails FULLY VISIBLE! 💀 This is the frontend developer's nightmare incarnate! While backend devs worry about database crashes, we're over here having panic attacks about proper email etiquette and UI disasters! That poor Iconfinder team just accidentally doxxed their entire mailing list because someone couldn't figure out how to use the "To:" field correctly. The digital equivalent of showing up to a presentation with your fly down and toilet paper stuck to your shoe SIMULTANEOUSLY! This is why we frontend people obsess over every pixel and user interaction—because when we mess up, EVERYONE can see it!

That transcendent moment after a 14-hour coding marathon when your RAM finally gets to breathe again. Browser tabs are like Tribbles—they multiply exponentially with each Stack Overflow search until your computer fans sound like a jet engine. The sheer ecstasy of Ctrl+Shift+W after pushing that final commit... *chef's kiss*. Your computer silently thanks you as its temperature drops from "surface of the sun" to merely "hot coffee." Chrome's memory usage graph probably looks like the stock market crash of 1929.