FTP Goes Brrrr

Ah, the workplace safety sign for JavaScript developers. That counter gets reset more often than a router during a thunderstorm. The best part is that the guy changing the number probably just finished saying "I'm switching to TypeScript" for the 17th time this month. Meanwhile, his coworker is just happy the ladder hasn't collapsed like their Promise chain did this morning.

Ah, the inevitable collision of aesthetic and reality. "Vibe coding" is basically writing code while listening to lo-fi beats and pretending you're in a movie montage. Feels great until you hit that first syntax error and realize your aesthetic doesn't fix broken loops. The harsh truth is that typing code with RGB keyboards in a dimly lit room doesn't magically grant debugging superpowers. When everything crashes, you're still frantically Googling Stack Overflow like the rest of us mortals. It's like buying a chef's knife and wondering why you can't cook like Gordon Ramsay. The vibes don't ship the product—competence does.

Ah, the eternal IDE settings hunt. Ten years of coding and I still get that panicked look when someone asks where to change syntax highlighting. Is it under File? Tools? Some obscure right-click context menu that only appears during a full moon? Every IDE developer apparently took a sacred oath to hide settings in the least intuitive place possible. JetBrains puts it under File, VS Code under... well, depends which extension broke your workspace this time. The correct answer? Just Google it like the rest of us. That's the real million-dollar question.

When your login form helpfully suggests the exact email you were trying to keep private... from the person standing right behind you . Nothing says "security" like broadcasting Joe Smith's email to everyone in visual range while simultaneously reminding bobzimor that he's using someone else's password. That yellow highlight might as well be a neon sign saying "IDENTITY THEFT IN PROGRESS!"

Nothing says "we value your time" quite like turning a job application into a full-time unpaid internship. The modern tech interview process has evolved from "Can you code?" to "Can you solve this obscure algorithm while tap-dancing and reciting the company values backwards?" The tears reflected in those glasses aren't from sadness—they're from realizing you just spent 40 hours on interview prep only to get ghosted with the classic "unfortu-" cut-off. Next time just ask if I can center a div and call it a day.

The gap between how we imagine our coding abilities versus what we actually produce is wider than the Jurassic period. Left side: majestic T-Rex ready to dominate. Right side: that offline Chrome dinosaur game you play when your internet dies. At least the pixelated version still technically runs, which is more than I can say for half my projects.