FTP Goes Brrrr

Someone just discovered the ultimate version control system - Microsoft Word! Because who needs Git when you can "automatically save changes you made which you can go back" right? Nothing says "professional developer" like writing code in a word processor and using Ctrl+Z as your rollback strategy. The project owner's face when reading this must have been priceless. "Sorry, our code tracking app won't support... *checks notes*... writing code in Word." Revolutionary idea rejected in record time - marked as "not planned" faster than you can say "merge conflict."

The irony is strong with this one! Blocking ads while simultaneously wishing for higher pay as a web dev is like sawing off the branch you're sitting on. That snake eating its own tail (ouroboros) perfectly captures the self-defeating cycle we create. We build websites funded by ads, then personally ensure no one sees those ads, then wonder why clients won't pay us more. It's the digital equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot while complaining about the cost of shoes.

The eternal CSS debugging saga: Frantically refreshing your browser for 20 minutes, convinced your code is broken, only to realize you're staring at the production site instead of your local environment. That moment when your brain finally catches up to what your eyes are seeing is pure developer humiliation. The worst part? We've all done this more than once and will absolutely do it again next week.

The eternal divide between creative insecurity and engineering solidarity. Designers see a new hire as competition, immediately questioning their worth and value. Meanwhile, engineers? They're just happy to have another warm body who understands what a merge conflict is. There's actually some truth here: design is often subjective and political, where one person's vision can overshadow another's. Engineering is more collaborative by necessity—nobody wants to be the only one on-call when production goes down at 2 AM. Plus, more engineers means less chance you'll be the one debugging that legacy code nobody wants to touch. Designers compete for creative ownership. Engineers unionize against the backlog.

The kid's dressed in a suit with dark circles under his eyes - the universal uniform of someone who hasn't slept in 72 hours trying to fix a production bug while simultaneously learning three new frameworks. Full stack developers don't need Halloween costumes. Their daily existence of juggling frontend, backend, databases, and client expectations while surviving on caffeine is already terrifying enough. The only difference between zombies and full stack devs? Zombies only want one thing: brains. Devs need Stack Overflow, coffee, and a will to live.

The cosmic irony of a company rejecting PDF resumes for a Full Stack Developer position is just *chef's kiss*. They want someone who can handle complex distributed systems, containerized microservices, and cross-browser compatibility... but their upload form can't process the most universal document format since the invention of paper. Next they'll ask you to whiteboard the solution to their PDF parsing problem during the interview you'll never get to schedule.