It Works Or Not, There Is No In Between

Dad jokes meet web development. Kid asks how big the website is, expecting project scope details, but Dad delivers the punchline: "Normal screen size." Classic parent move - volunteering you for £500 of work while simultaneously demonstrating zero understanding of how websites actually work. Every freelancer's nightmare: relatives who think your skills are both priceless and free at the same time.

Finally, an executive order I can get behind! The dream of every frontend developer who's spent hours fighting with WordPress's labyrinthine plugin system and mysterious database errors. Next up: banning jQuery and declaring all websites must be static HTML files hosted on GitHub Pages. The revolution will be minified and gzipped!

The eternal battle of date formats has claimed another victim of pedantry. While normal humans discuss candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach, developers immediately default to ISO 8601 (YYYY-MM-DD) – the only format that makes logical sense in a world of chaotic date standards. Let's be honest, anyone who's ever tried to parse MM/DD/YYYY vs DD/MM/YYYY in code has contemplated career changes. ISO 8601 is like the Switzerland of date formats – neutral, logical, and sorts chronologically when alphabetized. The perfect partner doesn't exist... except in standardized timestamp notation.

THE AUDACITY of my brain to trick me into thinking I'm taking a break from coding! One second I'm like "freedom at last!" and the next second my traitorous neurons are screaming "BUT WHAT IF WE IMPLEMENTED THAT NEW FEATURE RIGHT NOW?!" Can't even enjoy go-karts without my brain betraying me with the siren call of "personal projects." The addiction is REAL, people! My keyboard is basically sending me telepathic messages at this point. Send help... or maybe just more coffee and a new GitHub repo.

Remember that mythical time before Stack Overflow when developers actually had to understand what they were coding? Yeah, me neither. Writing a whole 10 lines of code without frantically Googling "how to center a div" or "why is my code working" deserves a farmer's humble pride. The bar is so low these days it's practically a tripping hazard in hell. Next achievement unlocked: remembering your password without clicking "forgot password" - truly the work of coding royalty.

Oh honey, the AUDACITY of this meme! Daydreaming about coding is like planning a vacation to Hawaii - all sunshine and cocktails in your head. But the REALITY? It's more like being stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a broken laptop and 47 compiler errors! The fantasy of writing elegant, beautiful code vs. the soul-crushing despair when your semicolon-missing nightmare refuses to compile for the 17th time. And don't even get me started on how I've spent HOURS making memes about not coding instead of, you know, ACTUALLY CODING. The procrastination is just *chef's kiss* exquisite!