It's Too Late For Me

Who has time to READ DOCUMENTATION? Are you KIDDING ME?! Life's too short to understand WHY something broke when you can just carpet bomb your entire codebase with console.log("HERE") , console.log("WHY GOD WHY") , and the ever-eloquent console.log("AAAAAAAHHHHH") ! The sheer ECSTASY when one of your 47 random debug statements finally reveals the problem is practically BETTER THAN CAFFEINE. Documentation is for people with patience and dignity—two things I sacrificed to the coding gods YEARS ago! 💅

Content TODAY Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. Hi. La security issue. some details are public through a MongoDB with no Authentication 20-32 J kindly give me some contact info of a person who manages security 20:33 Hey, Thanks for the information. I will forward it to the concerned team. 20:33 May I know where did you get this number from? You 20.34 security issue. some details are public through a MongoDB w... the same database 20.37 V

The perfect excuse for slacking off has evolved over the decades. First it was "my code is compiling" (the classic), then "my AI is training" (the upgrade), followed by "my LLM is thinking" (the premium model), and now we've come full circle back to "my code is compiling" because why fix what isn't broken? The longer the wait time, the longer you can sip coffee and stare blankly at your screen while your manager slowly loses their will to question you. Nature's perfect defense mechanism for developers in the wild.

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The quintessential dev team dynamic captured in its natural habitat. Top dev proudly announces "the energy I bring to the team" while showcasing a comment from a teammate who's bypassing all testing protocols with the battle cry "i'm merging it. f*ck the tests." Meanwhile, the cherry on top comes from someone named "Average Engineer" who declares writing test cases is basically admitting your code might have flaws—a cardinal sin in the church of overconfidence. This is that special moment when the CI/CD pipeline becomes CI/See-No-Evil. Future production issues? That's tomorrow-you's problem! Nothing says "high-performing team" like merging untested code at 11:36 PM and calling it "energy."

When YouTube's algorithm decides you need to be personally attacked with a "Not Everyone Should Code" video recommendation. That moment when the machines start giving career advice and somehow know about those 47 unresolved merge conflicts sitting in your repo. The cat's expression perfectly captures that mix of existential dread and silent acknowledgment that maybe, just maybe, your spaghetti code is the reason Stack Overflow moderators sigh when they see your username.