Job requirements Memes

Start Your Career Before You Start Walking

8 days ago 93.6K views 0 shares

Start 'em young, they said. Gotta love those job listings demanding a decade of experience with technologies that have only existed for five years. This baby's already behind schedule! Should've mastered React in the womb and deployed a blockchain solution during naptime. At this rate, the poor kid will only have 18 years of experience by 20 - clearly unemployable by industry standards. Next week: "Python for Fetuses" and "Docker Containerization Before You Can Walk."

Minimum Viable Resume Padding

Programming Webdev Git Csharp Javascript

12 days ago 95.6K views 0 shares

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this job market! 😱 They want THREE programming languages and FIVE whole GitHub repos?! So this absolute LEGEND just pushed five "Hello World" projects and called it a day! 💅 It's the coding equivalent of putting "proficient in Microsoft Word" on your resume because you once wrote a grocery list! The bare minimum malicious compliance is sending me to the MOON right now! Job requirements these days are truly the greatest comedy show on earth!

$50K A Year For Sys Admin With 7 Years Experience, LOL

Devops Networking Security Microsoft Azure

12 days ago 91.3K views 0 shares

$50K A Year For Sys Admin With 7 Years Experience, LOL

Ah, the classic tech industry paradox! A grocery store wants a sysadmin with Cisco certifications, Azure experience, VMware skills, on-call hours, AND the ability to lift 50 pounds... all for the princely sum of $23.80/hour ($49,504/year). That's like asking someone who can build a nuclear reactor to also flip the burgers at the cafeteria for minimum wage. The real cherry on top? "Occasional lifting" and "on-call weekends" - because nothing says "we value your 7+ years of specialized technical expertise" like making you haul servers around and fix the CEO's printer at 2am on a Sunday for less than what some entry-level developers make. This is the tech equivalent of "we're looking for a brain surgeon with 10 years experience who also does plumbing, for the competitive salary of whatever we found in the couch cushions."

Domain Confusion: The .NET Developer's Nightmare

Webdev Csharp Programming Frontend Backend

13 days ago 68.4K views 0 shares

Domain Confusion: The .NET Developer's Nightmare

The absolute AUDACITY of non-technical management! Here we have a .NET developer being handed the most RIDICULOUS request from a boss who clearly thinks domains are like Pokémon—gotta catch 'em all! 🙄 That look of existential dread when your boss casually asks you to develop for completely different tech stacks like they're just asking for sprinkles on their ice cream. Sure, let me just magically transform from a .NET specialist into a full-stack polyglot OVERNIGHT because domains are TOTALLY interchangeable! The developer's face is screaming "Do I look like I have 17 different frameworks tattooed on my forehead?!" Pure. Unbridled. Pain.

The Ultimate Tech Unicorn Hunt

AI Programming

1 month ago 62.2K views 0 shares

Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of this job posting! 💀 They want the "top 0.01%" with IQs over 140 who work 80+ hours weekly and can "replace teams of 20 with their own mind" — but will generously give you $10k even if you don't join! How MAGNANIMOUS! 🙄 The absolute DELUSION of saying "AI writes better code than most devs" while hunting for superhuman coding unicorns who apparently don't need sleep, friends, or basic human enjoyment! Honey, if your AI is so amazing, why not just hire IT instead of demanding people who can "think 10 steps ahead and ship in hours"? Translation: "We're looking for desperate geniuses willing to sacrifice their entire existence for our startup that will DEFINITELY change the world economy... trust us!"

The AI Adoption Crisis

AI Programming StackOverflow Debugging

1 month ago 131.6K views 0 shares

The cat's face says it all. You spend years mastering development, only to have management add AI to your job requirements. Now you're drowning in Stack Overflow trying to figure out how to make ChatGPT produce code that doesn't look like it was written by a caffeinated monkey with a keyboard. The dog got adopted - your sanity didn't.

This Is What HR Expects For An Entry Level

Javascript Webdev Devops Csharp Typescript

1 month ago 163.8K views 0 shares

This Is What HR Expects For An Entry Level

Behold! The MYTHICAL CREATURE known as the "entry-level developer" according to job listings! 🙄 You want to break into tech? HONEY, PLEASE! First, master 17 programming languages, 3 cloud platforms, every database known to mankind, and while you're at it, BUILD AN OPERATING SYSTEM FROM SCRATCH! The audacity of HR expecting you to wear a "Full Stack Developer" hoodie while carrying a "@SeniorDeveloper" bag and being SURROUNDED by tech logos that would make even a 20-year veteran break into a cold sweat! Entry level position: Must know JavaScript, TypeScript, Python, C#, Ruby, Angular, Node.js, AWS, GCP, Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, PostgreSQL, Docker, Kotlin, Swift... and we're offering a WHOPPING $15/hour! But there's free coffee in the break room, so... TOTALLY WORTH IT, RIGHT?! 💅

The Job Description Sounds Promising

Security Devops Programming

1 month ago 99.3K views 0 shares

Ah, the classic bait-and-switch of tech job descriptions! Squidward's initial excitement at a promising job opportunity immediately deflates when he spots the deal-breaker: "ability to obtain a US government security clearance." For those in the tech world, this is the equivalent of finding out your dream date has a strict "must not have posted anything questionable online ever" policy. Between questionable forum posts, that one time you downloaded something sketchy, or that phase where you thought anarchist manifestos were cool reading material—most developers' internet history is basically a government background check's worst nightmare. The security clearance requirement is basically corporate-speak for "we need someone with the online purity of a newborn baby but the coding skills of a 40-year veteran."

The One Man IT Department

Programming Csharp Javascript php Python

1 month ago 178.9K views 0 shares

The classic "we need someone who knows everything" job posting. Just a casual list of requirements that spans the entire tech universe—from SQL to NoSQL, frontend to backend, mobile to desktop, and oh yeah, throw in some machine learning while you're at it. This is what happens when HR thinks "full-stack developer" means "omnipotent tech deity who works for mid-level salary." The red highlight is basically saying "in summary, please be an entire engineering department with 15 years of experience in technologies that have existed for 5." Bonus points for "1 day per week" at the bottom. Sure, rebuild our entire digital infrastructure every Tuesday. No problem.

Senior Experience Required For Unpaid Internship

React Webdev Javascript Programming Frontend

1 month ago 124.5K views 0 shares

Senior Experience Required For Unpaid Internship

Ah, the classic "unpaid intern" bait-and-switch! Nothing says "we value your skills" quite like demanding 4+ years of React.js experience for an unpaid internship. The audacity of requiring 3+ years of front-end engineering AND React Native experience for someone who won't even get paid is just *chef's kiss* corporate delusion at its finest. Translation: "We want a senior developer willing to work for exposure and the vague possibility of maybe getting paid someday." Next they'll be asking for your kidney as a signing bonus.

The Mythical Full Stack Unicorn

Programming Webdev Devops Javascript Frontend

1 month ago 110.1K views 0 shares

The mythical "Full Stack Developer" strikes again! The top row shows animals lamenting their limitations—a dog can't fly, a fish can't walk, a chick can't swim, and a duck... well, it's just there looking smug. But the bottom row? Pure developer delusion. Suddenly they're all transformed into confident versions with skills they never had! It's basically every job posting ever: "Looking for a Full Stack Developer who can code in 17 languages, design like Picasso, manage infrastructure like NASA, and work for the salary of an intern." Meanwhile, the rest of us are specializing in one thing and questioning our life choices.

Friends With Benefits

Csharp Microsoft Programming Backend

1 month ago 81.7K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the classic tech job posting paradox. "We want a senior C# developer with 3+ years experience in Microsoft stack, but we'll pay you less than what a Starbucks barista makes in Seattle." But don't worry, you get the privilege of wearing jeans to work and there's free parking! Because nothing says "we value your expertise in building complex enterprise applications" quite like saving £5 on parking fees. The real benefit package is getting to explain to your landlord that your rent might be late, but hey, you've got profit sharing... which kicks in after 5 years if the company hasn't been acquired and gutted by then.

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