Back When Bright And Chipper

Remember when we had to optimize code to run on 2MB of RAM? Now we're out here with 16GB machines running Electron apps that somehow still manage to lag. The PS5 and Xbox Series X sitting smugly next to our gaming rigs while ancient consoles like the SNES and original PlayStation got by with kilobytes. Those old-school devs were literal wizards—squeezing Doom into memory smaller than a modern email attachment. Meanwhile, I'm over here watching Chrome devour RAM like it's an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Content It worked on my machine status annoyicus medburnbook 2d give me a horror story from your specialty in five words or less 4:57 AM 24 May 20 Twitter Web App

Content Visualizing in the mirror the man I want to become: A Senior Dev that responds to interns on time

Nothing screams "enterprise-grade documentation" quite like receiving JSON screenshots pasted into Excel cells. Because why use OpenAPI/Swagger specs, Postman collections, or literally any structured format when you can squint at pixelated text in a spreadsheet? The fact that this is coming from a multinational bank with presumably billions in revenue makes it even more chef's kiss. Someone probably spent hours meticulously screenshotting each endpoint, carefully pasting them into Excel, and thought "yes, this is the professional way." Meanwhile, the developer receiving this masterpiece gets to manually type out every field, guess the data types, and pray they didn't miss anything because zooming into cell B47 isn't helping. The frog's dignified expression perfectly captures the internal screaming while maintaining that corporate professionalism.

The twist here is brilliant! When asked about a programming language they dislike, the developer skips Python, JavaScript, or PHP and goes straight for English itself! Treating human language like a programming language and roasting it for technical deficiencies is peak developer humor. The critique is technically sound too - English is syntactically inconsistent, filled with operators (punctuation) nobody uses correctly, and policed by open-source grammar enthusiasts who'll throw warnings but never stop execution. And don't get me started on the lack of type safety (is "read" past tense or present?) and namespace collisions ("lead" the metal vs "lead" the verb). This is what happens when you spend too much time refactoring code - you start wishing you could refactor natural language too!

Content SOFTWARE ENGINEER'S DREAM SEEN BY A SOFTWARE ENGINNER SOFTWARE ENGINEER'S DREAM SEEN BY A HR MANAGER ProdrammerHumor.io