python Memes

Innit Mate

Innit Mate
British programmers really said "we're not using American spelling in our code" and created elsif just to be different. Meanwhile the rest of the world is stuck choosing between elif (Python, Bash) and else if (JavaScript, Java, C++), but Ruby decided to go full British with elsif . The "otherwise" at the end is just *chef's kiss* because it's so unnecessarily formal and British, like your code is having tea with the Queen. It's the programming equivalent of saying "whilst" instead of "while" – technically correct but makes everyone roll their eyes.

Need More Work Experience

Need More Work Experience
The beautiful irony of tech recruiting: they want 4+ years of experience in a framework that's only existed for 1.5 years. FastAPI dropped in 2018, so unless you're Sebastián himself (the creator), you literally can't meet their requirements. It's like asking for 10 years of experience in a technology that was released yesterday. Recruiters out here writing job descriptions like they're ordering a custom-built senior developer from Amazon Prime. "Must have 5 years experience in this thing that came out 2 years ago, also must be willing to work for junior dev salary." The recycling emoji at the end is *chef's kiss* - maybe it's time to recycle those ridiculous job requirements into something that actually makes sense. But let's be real, HR departments will still be asking for 15 years of Rust experience in 2025.

Didn't Write Much Code

Didn't Write Much Code
When someone asks "Is it JavaScript or Python?" and the dev responds "I actually didn't write much code - just prompting" you know we've officially entered the AI era of programming. The follow-up comment "So is it javascript or python? Jesus fucking christ" is the collective frustration of every traditional developer watching their craft get reduced to chatting with an LLM. This is the new reality: devs are now prompt engineers who vibe-coded a rage/timing game by basically having a conversation with AI. The confusion about which language was even used is *chef's kiss* because it doesn't matter anymore - the AI wrote it all. Meanwhile, seasoned developers are having an existential crisis trying to figure out what stack was used while the prompt jockey is already shipping features. Welcome to 2024, where "I can code" means "I can write a really good sentence."

Because Agent Don't Want To PM

Because Agent Don't Want To PM
The tech industry's slow-motion apocalypse timeline, where roles disappear faster than your motivation on a Monday morning. In 2026, we've got the holy trinity: Project Managers looking smug with their Jira boards, Site Reliability Engineers keeping the servers from catching fire (literally shown with Java's flaming coffee cup), and Software Engineers grinding away with Python. Fast forward to 2028, and plot twist—the SE with the Python logo vanishes into an asterisk of doom. By 2030, even the SSE joins the void, leaving only the PM standing. The asterisk? That's probably an AI agent doing all the coding while management stays eternal. The title drops the real truth bomb: AI agents are happy to write code, debug at 2 AM, and refactor legacy spaghetti, but they draw the line at attending standup meetings and updating sprint boards. Can't blame them—if I could opt out of being a PM by simply not existing, I'd consider it too.

I'm Afraid To Talk To People Using Programming Languages Like Javascript Or Python

I'm Afraid To Talk To People Using Programming Languages Like Javascript Or Python
So you've mastered pointers, memory management, and segmentation faults, but the moment someone mentions they code in JavaScript or Python, you suddenly need a manual on basic human interaction? Classic programmer move—spending years debugging C++ templates but completely freezing when faced with actual social protocols. The irony here is delicious: you can architect complex systems and handle the most arcane programming concepts, yet starting a conversation with fellow devs feels like trying to compile code without a compiler. Bonus points if you're that person who codes in Assembly or Rust and secretly judges everyone else's "easy mode" language choices while simultaneously having zero idea how to say "hello" without making it awkward. Pro tip: They're just people who chose garbage collection over manual memory management. They won't bite. Probably.

Compile Time Over 9000 Min

Compile Time Over 9000 Min
First-year CS student discovers that C++ is faster than Python and suddenly thinks they're Linus Torvalds. Meanwhile, the rest of us are out here writing buffer overflows and memory leaks in both languages like true professionals. Sure, your C++ might be faster, but at what cost? Your sanity? Your weekends? The ability to remember where you allocated that pointer? Python devs know the truth: we trade a few milliseconds for not having to debug segfaults at 3 AM. But go ahead, young padawan, write your unsafe code. We'll be here when you realize that premature optimization is the root of all evil, and that "fast" doesn't mean much when your program crashes before it finishes.

Epstein Index

Epstein Index
Java sitting at 174 points like it's collecting war crimes. SQL and PHP are basically tied for "I'm not proud of what I've done" at 58 and 52 respectively. Python's surprisingly low at 12—guess people are too busy writing one-liners to feel ashamed. But the real plot twist? JavaScript only has 6 shame points. Either JS developers have achieved enlightenment and transcended shame, or they've been doing it wrong for so long that they've simply forgotten what good code looks like. My money's on the latter. Fortran and COBOL making the list is chef's kiss—respect to the ancient ones still maintaining that legacy banking system from 1972. MATLAB bringing up the rear with 2 points because the three people still using it are too busy with matrix multiplication to care about shame.

Has No Clue What Bindings Are

Has No Clue What Bindings Are
First-year CS students discovering that C++ exists and suddenly thinking they're performance optimization gurus is peak Dunning-Kruger energy. They'll drop this hot take in a Python Discord, sit back with that smug "I'm playing 4D chess" expression, completely oblivious to the fact that most Python libraries doing heavy lifting are literally C/C++ bindings under the hood. NumPy? C. Pandas? C. TensorFlow? C++. PyTorch? C++. The entire Python ecosystem is basically a fancy wrapper around compiled languages, but sure, go ahead and rewrite that web scraper in C++ to save 3 milliseconds. The real kicker? They haven't even written a Makefile yet, don't know what segmentation faults are, and think pointers are just "spicy variables." But they've definitely figured out the entire software engineering industry is doing it wrong. Genius move, really.

The Gil

The Gil
Python dev gets asked about performance optimization and immediately pivots to literally anything else. The GIL (Global Interpreter Lock) is Python's dirty little secret—it's that lovely threading bottleneck that ensures only one thread executes Python bytecode at a time, even on multi-core processors. So when someone mentions "performance," seasoned Python devs develop selective hearing real fast. It's like asking someone about their ex at a party. Sure, we could talk about how the GIL makes true parallel processing impossible in CPython, or how you need multiprocessing instead of multithreading to actually use those fancy CPU cores... but hey, look over there! Pandas is great! Django is awesome! Let's talk about literally anything except why your CPU-bound code runs like it's 1995.

From Brain Import Frontal Cortex

From Brain Import Frontal Cortex
So we've gone from "cloud computing" to literally renting brain cells. Someone pitched "24/7 remote access to brain organoid" with a straight face and got funding. The best part? These lab-grown brains are marketed like a SaaS product—complete with technical support and data backup. Because nothing says "cutting-edge technology" like having to call customer service when your biological neural network crashes. The tweet's right though—wetware really is about to surpass hardware. We're literally one API call away from import brain becoming a legitimate Python library. Can't wait for the Stack Overflow questions: "Why is my brain organoid throwing a NullPointerException?" And yes, these things are a million times less powerful than a digital chip but last only 100 days. So basically, it's like renting a potato-powered server that expires faster than your GitHub Copilot trial. The future is weird, folks.

I Have No Idea What This Code Does

I Have No Idea What This Code Does
You're in a Python codebase, deadline's tomorrow, and you desperately need some obscure algorithm. So you hit up Quora, find some answer with 2.3k upvotes, and there it is—a beautiful C++ function with pointers, templates, and memory management that would make Bjarne Stroustrup weep. You copy-paste it into your Python file because panic coding doesn't leave room for trivial concerns like "syntax compatibility" or "will this even run." Now you're standing there with code that's half snake, half dragon, fully cursed. Your linter is having a meltdown, your IDE is showing more red squiggles than a kindergarten art project, and your teammates are staring at you like you just showed up to standup in full Spartan armor. Because that's essentially what happened. Pro tip: Quora is where good answers go to get buried under 47 "I'm not an expert but..." responses. Stack Overflow would've at least roasted you in the comments before giving you the Python version.

A Higher Level Of Abstraction

A Higher Level Of Abstraction
When someone says they want a "higher level of abstraction," they usually mean cleaner APIs and better developer experience. This person took it to mean "please hide all the math from me because I can't be bothered to understand it." Look, we've all copy-pasted StackOverflow solutions we don't fully understand at 3 AM, but demanding researchers turn their vehicle routing algorithms into a .py file because math is hard? That's a whole new level of entitlement. The irony is that the code is the abstraction—someone already did the hard work of translating mathematical concepts into executable logic. Also, calling mathematicians "smelly nerds" while begging them to do your work is peak academic diplomacy. Good luck with that research career, buddy.