The Programming Language Bakery

The bread hierarchy has spoken! Behold the programming language bakery where HTML is that one weird flat bread that didn't rise properly because surprise it's not even a programming language—it's a markup language! Meanwhile, Python, Java, C++, PHP, and C# are all fluffy, fully-risen loaves ready to handle actual computation logic. The bread metaphor is painfully accurate—HTML provides structure but can't "do" anything without JavaScript kneading some life into it. Next time someone claims HTML is their favorite programming language, just point to this carb-loaded taxonomy chart.