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Content You: - fairly average software dev - claims not to be competitive, but secretly dreams of landing on the leaderboard at least once - uses a full IDE; wastes a minute right out the gate waiting for it to start - still parsing the problem statement while others are already submitting answers - actually uses a debugger when things aren't working Your competition: "Hackerman" - InfoSec major - sits at his PC on a near- lethal dose of Adderall waiting for the timer to hit 00:00 - has automated scripts for pulling the input and submitting solutions, and his own library of helper functions for every imaginable problem class - knows your IP at all times "-mhtwalters" - research scientist at Intel - does puzzles for fun that are harder than any job you will ever have - so utterly bored with the problems that he creates increasingly ridiculous self-imposed restrictions to keep things interesting - solved last year exclusively in APL on a System360 emulator, and still finished 9th on the global leaderboard - personal homepage is HTML 2.0 compliant "wihbr" - software dev from undisclosed Eastern- European country, making 200kyr for a company you've never heard of - is in literally every coding competition - Twitch stream is just a Vim terminal and the sounds of a mechanical keyboard - types faster than you can read or think "Tharg" - Linux kernel hacker - specialization in compiler design - is golfing in some esoteric language nobody has ever heard of - can mentally transpile any code he sees to assembly - measures his solutions' performance in actual clock cycles - overworked Chinese university student, double majoring in theoretical physics and chemical engineering - has been locked into various educational institutions since he was 3 years old - only time outside of school is for piano lessons - can literally only see the relevant parts of the problem statement - you will not understand his solutions without a PhD in discrete mathematics "Samir Nagheenanajar" - outsourced IT support technician - does puzzles because he has nothing better to do during his shift - forced to solve in Excel because he isn't allowed to install other software - can reveal the face of God using only BA - rumored to possess the combined knowledge and power of all Indian educational YouTubers

Alternate Jurassic Park ending: Dennis Nedry realizes he's the only IT guy maintaining a critical system with actual dinosaurs and demands fair compensation. Hammond reluctantly agrees instead of lowballing him. Movie ends peacefully, no one gets eaten, and the park probably has working door locks. The real horror was the salary negotiation all along.

The classic developer progression: from "I made a calculator app!" to "I built an entire operating system just to run Tetris." It's like showing up to a knife fight with a nuclear warhead. Sure, your calculator adds numbers, but this madlad wrote a custom OS for a game from the 80s. Peak developer overkill. The gap between your first "Hello World" and someone's weekend project that casually reinvents computing is why Stack Overflow exists—half to get help, half to feel inadequate about your coding skills.

Content Dark Github Question Is there a place like github where semi-legal or illegal projects are shared? 4 120 S 25 CelestialChemist 11 h Yes, on GitHub. 1 Antworten 4 593

Content Me holding down the left arrow key for years to get to the middle of a bash command I typed 1 character wrong in MICHIGAN STATE ProdrammerHumor.io

Content What are the 7 deadly sins of programming? John Purcell, Creator of CaveOfProgramming.com Updated Dec 2, 2017 Upvoted by Les Howie, Software professional for 40 years. and Hasib Al Muhaimin, IOl participant '13, '14, '15, ACM-ICPC World Finalist 2016 Author has 5.9k answers and 9.3m answer views 1. Using spaces instead of tabs. You should always, always use tabs, not spaces. 2. Using tabs instead of spaces. You should always, always use spaces, not tabs. 3. Not using auto-formatting. Forget all that tabsspaces rubbish, what's wrong with you - auto-format your code and then people won't have to look at vour weird ideas about brackets and spaces. 4. Using IDEs, which have features such as auto-formatting and nicely- coloured buttons. All code should be written in vi or Emacs, thus ensuring the purity of the programming experience. 5. Not using IDEs. No-one wants to pay for all the time it's going to take you to type things that you could have done at the click of a button, or scroll up and down using some ridiculous key combination invoked using LISP. 6. Failing to learn C and C. It's really important to learn the two absolute essential languages. You think Java is just as good? Fine, write me a real- time control system for racing cars in Java and I'll believe you. 7. Learning C or C when you could be using something modern like Java instead. Admit it - all your schedules involving C or C overrun by five years. And even then the software turns out to have critical flaws that Java would not even have allowed you to create. 8. Overrunning the end of an array. 356.1k views View 11.9k Upvoters View Sharers