sysadmin Memes

The First Commandment Of IT

The First Commandment Of IT
Homer Simpson ripping out a "Free IT Advice" sign to reveal the sacred commandment of tech: "IF IT WORKS, DON'T TOUCH IT." This isn't just advice—it's the unspoken religion of every production environment. That mystical code that ran fine for 7 years? Written by a dev who left the company in 2015? Deployed on a server no one remembers the password to? Yeah, nobody's volunteering to "refactor" that bad boy. We just light candles and pray it continues working until retirement.

It's Always DNS

It's Always DNS
The eternal IT support battle in five acts: Angry admin: "THIS IS NOT A DNS ISSUE!" Smug dev: "I CAN PING 8.8.8.8" (Google's DNS server, the universal "is my internet working?" test) Admin, veins popping: "THEN YOUR INTERNET WORKS!" Dev, confused: "I CAN'T PING GOOGLE.COM" Admin, having a stroke: "STOP BLAMING DNS FOR YOUR PROBLEMS" Narrator: It was, in fact, a DNS issue.

This Incident Will Be Reported

This Incident Will Be Reported
Oh honey, you thought you were special enough for sudo privileges? TRAGIC! 💅 That ominous "This incident will be reported" message is the ULTIMATE walk of shame in Linux land! Your terminal just tattled on you to Santa Claus (aka the sysadmin) who's now adding your name to the naughty list with a screenshot of your pathetic attempt at power! The nerdy emoji's face says it all - that moment of pure TERROR when you realize your digital crime spree just got logged for all eternity. Hope that unauthorized command was worth the impending awkward conversation with IT tomorrow!

The Dual Booting Personality Of Linux Users

The Dual Booting Personality Of Linux Users
The duality of Linux enthusiasts is painfully accurate. When actually using Linux, you're just a tired soul dealing with dependency hell and hunting down obscure config files. But mention Linux in conversation and suddenly you're vibrating at a frequency only dogs can hear, ready to explain why your custom Arch build with 47 terminal-based apps is "actually more user-friendly." It's the same energy as people who do CrossFit – quiet suffering during, evangelical preaching after.

It's The Best

It's The Best
The "Yes" command doesn't exist in Linux, but that's the joke. The bearded terminal warrior on the right is so deep in command line Stockholm syndrome that he misinterpreted the question as asking if he has a favorite Linux command. Of course he does. His entire personality is bash shortcuts and sudo privileges. He probably has strong opinions about text editors too.

When I Say I Like Racks...

When I Say I Like Racks...
The eternal miscommunication between normies and tech nerds in one perfect image! Left person hears "racks" and thinks of, well, the anatomical variety. Right person is daydreaming about those beautiful server racks housing blade servers, switches, and storage arrays. Nothing gets a sysadmin's heart racing like a perfectly cable-managed 42U rack with redundant power supplies and proper airflow management. The ambiguity of technical jargon strikes again - same word, completely different universes of meaning. And honestly, both are pretty nice to look at for their respective enthusiasts!

Deploying To Production Before Holiday Break: What Could Go Wrong

Deploying To Production Before Holiday Break: What Could Go Wrong
Server racks don't respond to prayers, but that doesn't stop us from trying. Nothing says "confidence in your code" like a group of half-naked IT folks performing the ancient ritual of "Please Don't Crash During My Vacation." The physical manifestation of the phrase "it worked on my machine" right before everyone disappears for four days. Pro tip: servers can smell fear and holiday plans.

The IT Team's Pre-Holiday Prayer Circle

The IT Team's Pre-Holiday Prayer Circle
That sacred pre-vacation ritual where you desperately pray to the server gods that nothing explodes while you're gone. Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like frantically patting server racks and whispering "please don't die" to infrastructure that's held together by duct tape and Stack Overflow answers. The true holiday miracle is making it to January without getting that 3 AM call about the production database deciding to spontaneously combust while you're trying to enjoy your eggnog.

In My Best Werner Herzog Voice: The Sysadmin Chronicles

In My Best Werner Herzog Voice: The Sysadmin Chronicles
The eternal struggle between management and sysadmins, narrated in the grim tones of Werner Herzog. While executives demand explanations in their cubicle kingdom, the battle-hardened sysadmins are just trying to keep the digital house of cards from collapsing. They're not solving problems—they're performing digital triage. The truth? Most IT infrastructure is held together with duct tape, prayers, and that one Perl script written by a guy who left in 2011. Nobody touches the production server because nobody knows what will break if they do. It's not incompetence; it's survival.

Emergency Supply Kit

Emergency Supply Kit
The true essence of network administration distilled into a single container: cigarettes and a "GOOD LUCK!" note. Because when the entire company's VPN goes down at 2PM on a Friday, or someone accidentally runs rm -rf on a production server, or the CEO can't connect to WiFi during a board meeting—nicotine and blind optimism are your only reliable protocols. The cigarettes aren't for smoking; they're for bartering with the server gods who clearly hate you today. Network admins don't need fancy disaster recovery plans—just chemical coping mechanisms and the crushing acceptance that DNS is probably lying to you again.

Stop Setting Static IP Addresses In DHCP Range

Stop Setting Static IP Addresses In DHCP Range
The networking equivalent of watching someone park in a reserved spot. That brave soul is fighting the good fight against the network admins who've spent hours debugging why devices keep dropping off the network, only to discover some rogue developer assigned themselves 192.168.1.100 because "it's easier to remember." Nothing like the sweet chaos of two devices fighting over the same IP while DHCP watches helplessly from the sidelines. The real network troubleshooting drinking game: take a shot every time someone says "but it was working yesterday!"

The File Completeness Conjecture

The File Completeness Conjecture
Unix philosophy claims "everything is a file" until you actually try to cat a directory and get slapped with that condescending "Is a directory" error. Ten years into my career and I'm still occasionally typing cat on directories like some junior dev who hasn't been properly traumatized yet. The lie detector determined: that "everything is a file" was a lie. Directories, sockets, pipes—all just teasing us with their file-like appearances while secretly being special snowflakes.