Updating My CV As We Speak

Ah, the Linux purist paradox. Proudly declares "MS is bullshit" while mentioning they use Arch (because of course they do), but then gets absolutely triggered when asked about using GitHub (owned by Microsoft), VS Code (Microsoft's editor), or NPM (runs on Microsoft infrastructure). Nothing says "I have principles" quite like selectively applying them only when it doesn't inconvenience your workflow. The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.

Ah yes, the two types of developers in their natural habitat. One proudly declares "I'm merging it. fuck the tests" with the confidence of someone who's about to create tomorrow's emergency hotfix. Then there's the reply guy claiming "writing testcases for your code is doubting your own coding abilities. it's a sign of weakness." This is the software development equivalent of saying "helmets are for cowards" while riding a motorcycle blindfolded. Future you will be sending past you very strongly worded Slack messages at 2AM when production catches fire.

The Git workflow massacre in three acts: First, we see a majestic Airbus A350 on the runway - that's git commit , your changes safely packaged and ready. Next, the plane gloriously takes flight - git push sending your code to the remote repository. But wait! The punchline: git add is just people climbing stairs to nowhere. Because if you push without adding files first, you're essentially sending an empty plane. Nothing gets deployed except your career prospects. It's the classic "why isn't my code in production?" moment right before the horrifying realization that you've been committing and pushing literal nothingness for the past hour.

The harsh reality of Git commands visualized with brutal accuracy. Landing a plane? That's your git commit - looks smooth but you're still touching ground. Taking off with git push ? Sure, your code's airborne but there's always turbulence ahead in production. And then there's git add - literally passengers climbing stairs to nowhere in the middle of a desert. That's what happens when you stage files without knowing what the hell you're actually including. Seven years as a lead and I still catch juniors blindly adding everything with git add . and wondering why their API keys ended up on GitHub.

When your "quick fix" turns into a complete codebase overhaul! 😱 591 files changed and that +10326/-989 line count is giving me heart palpitations. We've all been there—start with "I'll just tweak this one thing" and suddenly you're six minutes into committing what can only be described as a code apocalypse. The commit message "HOLY F***" perfectly captures that moment of "what have I done" clarity. This isn't a commit, it's a manifesto!

Trying to delete a branch with git branch -d only to get that passive-aggressive "not fully merged" error is like Git saying "I'm protecting you from yourself." So what do we do? Yell at Git and use the capital -D flag because WE'RE THE BOSS HERE. Git's safety mechanisms are cute until you've spent 8 hours debugging merge conflicts and just want that feature branch gone from your life forever.