Resume padding Memes

Posts tagged with Resume padding

Added To My Resume After Ten Minutes Of Coding

Added To My Resume After Ten Minutes Of Coding
The Squirtle Squad of resume padding. Copy-pasting "print('Hello World')" in Rust and suddenly you're a "systems programming specialist with low-level memory management experience." Meanwhile, actual Rust developers watching you struggle to explain lifetimes during the interview. The classic "fake it till you make it" approach, except you never actually make it past the technical screening.

What I Say

What I Say
The gap between résumé and reality has never been so elegantly exposed. Sure, you're "multilingual" in programming... if copying the same print() statement and changing "Hello World" to different languages counts as fluency. It's like claiming you're a polyglot because you can say "where's the bathroom?" in five countries. The universal programmer flex that falls apart the moment someone asks you to implement a binary tree in any of those "languages" you supposedly know.

Update Read Me

Update Read Me
Ah, the classic "green squares at any cost" syndrome. Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like obsessively committing README formatting changes 30 times an hour just to make your GitHub contribution graph look like a lush rainforest. What you're witnessing is the digital equivalent of a peacock's mating dance - except instead of attracting mates, you're desperately trying to impress potential employers who might glance at your profile for 2.7 seconds. Trust me, after 20 years in this industry, I can tell you that no one has ever been hired because they had perfect markdown indentation in their README. But hey, at least your contribution graph looks like you've been coding like a maniac while you were actually just adding and removing spaces.