Resume padding Memes

Posts tagged with Resume padding

Fake It Till You Make It: Java Edition
Java Programming
6 days ago 61.8K views 0 shares
Fake It Till You Make It: Java Edition
Ah, the classic "fake it till you make it" approach to tech interviews! That moment when you claim to be a Java expert on your resume, but in reality you've just finished your first "Hello World" tutorial. The interviewer's face when they find out you've been "mastering" Java for a whole TWO WEEKS is priceless. This is basically the tech equivalent of claiming you're fluent in French because you can say "omelette du fromage." Pro tip: when they start asking about garbage collection and JVM optimization, just cough uncontrollably and pretend your Zoom froze.

Another Day On LinkedIn
Gamedev C++ Programming Java
11 days ago 65.2K views 0 shares
Another Day On LinkedIn
Ah yes, the classic LinkedIn tech post where someone claims Fortnite was built with C++ and Minecraft with Java—technically correct! But then there's the masterpiece known as "MOHBGS"... which doesn't exist. It's the perfect representation of those LinkedIn "experts" who confidently list technologies they've never touched and games they've never played just to appear knowledgeable. The digital equivalent of nodding along in meetings when you have no idea what's being discussed. Resume padding has evolved into an art form!

The Certificate Chase: Udemy's Digital Participation Trophy
Programming Webdev Frontend
13 days ago 53.6K views 0 shares
The Certificate Chase: Udemy's Digital Participation Trophy
EXCUSE ME WHILE I EXPOSE THE DARKEST SECRET OF THE DEVELOPER UNIVERSE! 💀 The absolute TRAGEDY of spending 72 hours on a Udemy course only to discover the certificate is just a fancy JPEG that nobody in the industry gives a flying function about! Yet there we are, watching 37 hours of "How to Master React in Just 3 Days" at 1.5x speed, DESPERATELY clinging to the promise of that digital participation trophy. The validation-seeking MONSTERS we've become! And for what? So we can add another meaningless credential to our LinkedIn profile that recruiters scroll past faster than terms and conditions?! THE HORROR!

The Polyglot Programmer's Secret
Programming
17 days ago 77.4K views 1 shares
The Polyglot Programmer's Secret
Ah yes, the classic developer flex that immediately backfires. Nothing says "I'm a polyglot programmer" quite like admitting your extensive portfolio consists entirely of printing "Hello World" in 37 different languages. The painful truth is we've all done this in job interviews, meetups, or on resumes. "Proficient in Java, Python, Ruby, and C++" usually translates to "I once got a for-loop working in each after three hours of Stack Overflow research." The real programming expertise isn't knowing how to write in multiple languages—it's knowing which one to avoid for your next project.

Hope To Conquer The World
Programming Rust
26 days ago 78.7K views 0 shares
Hope To Conquer The World
BEHOLD! The sacred ritual of the unemployed coder! There they stand, fist raised dramatically to the heavens, as if writing "Hello World" in yet another language will somehow transform them from jobless keyboard warrior to tech billionaire overnight! The AUDACITY! The DRAMA! The sheer DELUSION that learning your 27th programming language will finally be the one that makes recruiters slide into your DMs! Meanwhile, their LinkedIn profile weeps silently in the corner as they ignore actual marketable skills to master printing text to a console in Rust. Revolutionary stuff, truly.

Updating My CV As We Speak
Git Webdev Programming
29 days ago 84.1K views 0 shares
Updating My CV As We Speak
Ah, the classic "one-line commit to fame" pipeline! Nothing says "senior developer material" like fixing a typo in the README and immediately updating your LinkedIn with "Core Contributor at Major FOSS Project." The best part? That single docs update probably took 3 hours of fighting with the project's arcane contribution guidelines, two rejected PRs, and a heated discussion about Oxford commas in the issue tracker. But hey, that GitHub green square is worth its weight in gold during job interviews!

Added To My Resume After Ten Minutes Of Coding
Programming Rust
1 month ago 93.0K views 0 shares
Added To My Resume After Ten Minutes Of Coding
The instant transformation from coding noob to "seasoned polyglot" is a sacred developer tradition. Copy-paste a "Hello World" example, struggle with the compiler for 20 minutes, then suddenly you're "proficient" in Rust on LinkedIn. The Squirtle squad here perfectly represents junior devs strutting into interviews with their resume listing 17 languages they've used exactly once. Meanwhile, hiring managers are desperately trying to find someone who actually knows how to reverse a linked list without Googling it first.

Added To My Resume After Ten Minutes Of Coding
Programming
2 months ago 80.8K views 0 shares
Added To My Resume After Ten Minutes Of Coding
The Squirtle Squad of resume padding. Copy-pasting "print('Hello World')" in Rust and suddenly you're a "systems programming specialist with low-level memory management experience." Meanwhile, actual Rust developers watching you struggle to explain lifetimes during the interview. The classic "fake it till you make it" approach, except you never actually make it past the technical screening.

What I Say
Programming Python
2 months ago 85.7K views 0 shares
What I Say
The gap between résumé and reality has never been so elegantly exposed. Sure, you're "multilingual" in programming... if copying the same print() statement and changing "Hello World" to different languages counts as fluency. It's like claiming you're a polyglot because you can say "where's the bathroom?" in five countries. The universal programmer flex that falls apart the moment someone asks you to implement a binary tree in any of those "languages" you supposedly know.

Update Read Me
Git Programming
2 months ago 111.0K views 0 shares
Update Read Me
Ah, the classic "green squares at any cost" syndrome. Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like obsessively committing README formatting changes 30 times an hour just to make your GitHub contribution graph look like a lush rainforest. What you're witnessing is the digital equivalent of a peacock's mating dance - except instead of attracting mates, you're desperately trying to impress potential employers who might glance at your profile for 2.7 seconds. Trust me, after 20 years in this industry, I can tell you that no one has ever been hired because they had perfect markdown indentation in their README. But hey, at least your contribution graph looks like you've been coding like a maniac while you were actually just adding and removing spaces.