Contributions Memes

Posts tagged with Contributions

Updating My CV As We Speak
Git Webdev Programming
28 days ago 83.4K views 0 shares
Updating My CV As We Speak
Ah, the classic "one-line commit to fame" pipeline! Nothing says "senior developer material" like fixing a typo in the README and immediately updating your LinkedIn with "Core Contributor at Major FOSS Project." The best part? That single docs update probably took 3 hours of fighting with the project's arcane contribution guidelines, two rejected PRs, and a heated discussion about Oxford commas in the issue tracker. But hey, that GitHub green square is worth its weight in gold during job interviews!

Can You Explain The Gap In Your Resume?
C++ Devops Git Programming
1 month ago 107.0K views 0 shares
Can You Explain The Gap In Your Resume?
The irony of Bjarne Stroustrup—you know, just the guy who created C++ —having only one green square on his GitHub contribution graph is chef's kiss material. Recruiters everywhere are frantically updating their "red flags" documentation. Meanwhile, the person who invented the language that powers half the world's critical infrastructure would probably get auto-rejected by the ATS systems he helped make possible. Next interview question: "So, Mr. Stroustrup, what would you say you actually do here?"

You Wouldn't Get It
Git Webdev Devops Programming
1 month ago 87.0K views 0 shares
You Wouldn't Get It
The programmer's secret calendar language! Those green squares in the GitHub contributions graph spell out "HOLIDAYS" when viewed by date. Non-technical managers just see random days off, but fellow devs recognize the sacred art of commit-graph-art. Taking PTO to complete your contribution masterpiece is peak developer dedication. The perfect crime—your manager thinks you're on vacation while you're actually cementing your legacy in version control history.

The Open Source Entitlement Syndrome
Programming Devops Git
2 months ago 101.3K views 1 shares
The Open Source Entitlement Syndrome
The classic open-source paradox in four panels! First, someone whines about missing features. Then comes the inevitable response: "It's open source, add it yourself!" The silent realization in panel three is pure gold—that moment when you remember you'd actually have to code the thing. By panel four, the angry eyebrows say it all: "I wanted to complain, not contribute!" Nothing captures the entitlement of users who treat free software like a paid service quite like this. The real joke? Most of us have been both characters at some point.

You Wouldn't Get It
Git Devops Agile Programming
2 months ago 149.7K views 0 shares
You Wouldn't Get It
When your GitHub contribution graph spells out "SEND HELP" but your manager just sees random green squares. Nothing says "I need vacation" quite like turning your desperate coding schedule into a cryptic message visible only to fellow developers. Those specific days off? Just trying to avoid completing the 'D' in 'HELP' because that's when the real breakdown happens.

Luigi Did Not Commit Murder
Git Devops Programming
2 months ago 108.3K views 0 shares
Luigi Did Not Commit Murder
Ah, the perfect GitHub alibi! Luigi's contribution graph shows 0 contributions in 2024 but somehow managed 847 contributions on December 4th last year. That's not suspicious at all! Nothing says "I definitely wasn't committing a felony that day" like committing code 847 times in 24 hours. The classic programmer's defense: "Your Honor, I couldn't have done it—look at my GitHub activity! I was clearly too busy making meaningless commits to have time for murder."