When your relationship status is "it's complicated" but your dependency management is not. Sure, girlfriends aren't free (those dinner dates add up), they're hard to get (unlike that simple apt-get command), and might occasionally trigger the jealousy runtime exception. Meanwhile, Node.js just sits there with its 2,950 contributors ready to help you through your darkest coding hours. Though that ReferenceError at the bottom is the perfect punchline - both will make you cry, just for entirely different reasons. One because of emotional pain, the other because you spent 4 hours debugging only to find you forgot to declare a variable.