Who The Fuck Asked For Raytracing?

When you start game development thinking "I'll just make a simple platformer" and suddenly realize you need to become an expert in physics, graphics, audio engineering, UI design, storytelling, optimization, and marketing all at once. The tweet perfectly captures that moment of existential dread when it hits you that making a game isn't just about coding the fun parts - it's about building an entire universe from scratch while your excitement flatlines faster than that game dev heartbeat monitor.

Oh honey, the EVOLUTION of game developers is sending me to the SHADOW REALM! 💀 Back in the golden era, these GODS OF CODE were out here flexing their optimization skills like "behold my 97kb masterpiece that would make your calculator weep!" They'd write entire games in Assembly like it was a casual weekend hobby and not actual TORTURE. Fast forward to today's "Triple A" devs who are LITERALLY shipping 500GB monstrosities with day-one patches bigger than the entire gaming industry circa 1995. They're out here with their haunted, sleep-deprived faces basically saying "our game barely functions, but hey, buy a new PC or perish!" The breast milk thief subplot is just the cherry on top of this disaster sundae. I cannot EVEN with this industry anymore!

Meta spent $13 billion on their "Horizon" metaverse and all they got was avatars that look like they were rendered on a potato. "Legs are coming soon!" is the kind of feature announcement you'd expect from a game in 2003, not something that cost twice Electronic Arts' annual revenue. At this rate, Mark's going to need another $50 billion just to add eyebrows that don't look haunted. Meanwhile, The Sims 3 from 2009 is over here with fully functioning humans that can already woohoo in hot tubs.

Top panel: Guy literally crying over his RTX 4090 because it can't push enough frames on his ultra-expensive monitor. Meanwhile, bottom panel: Chad with a 3060 Ti just vibing with his 1080p setup that'll run Doom Eternal at max settings until the heat death of the universe. The real irony? Top guy probably only plays Valorant and checks email. Bottom guy is just happy his PC boots without catching fire.

The eternal game engine wars continue! This dev has clearly switched allegiances from Unity to Godot, and isn't shy about declaring it. Can't blame them after Unity's pricing fiasco last year that sent devs running for the exits. Godot swooped in as the free, open-source alternative and suddenly everyone's new best friend. Nothing says "I've evolved as a developer" quite like dramatically announcing your game engine breakup on social media. The relationship status is definitely "it's complicated" with Unity these days.

Remember when we thought these janky polygons were the peak of technology? In 2000, we'd sit there amazed at what was essentially a potato with hair clipping through a horse's neck. Now I'm disappointed when my 4K ray-traced game drops below 120fps. The best part? Those old games actually shipped without needing 50GB day-one patches. They just worked... mostly... if you ignored the nightmare fuel character models.