performance Memes

The Eternal Hardware-Software Cycle Of Doom

18 hours ago 59.1K views 1 shares

The Eternal Hardware-Software Cycle Of Doom

The eternal cycle of developer suffering, illustrated through classical art! When you have slow processors, you're forced to write efficient, elegant code. Then your good code unlocks better hardware, which inevitably leads to lazy developers writing spaghetti monstrosities because "hey, we've got processing power to spare!" Then that bloated nightmare code brings even the beefiest machines to their knees, and we're back to square one. It's the circle of technical debt that's been happening since the dawn of computing. Writing optimized code on limited hardware? Noble and disciplined. Having fast processors that run garbage code? Pure decadence that ends in flames. The hardware-software ouroboros continues to eat its own tail for eternity.

The Great FPS Divide

Gamedev Hardware Unity Programming

1 day ago 55.1K views 0 shares

The great FPS divide - where one group has a complete meltdown if their game drops below 100 frames per second, while the other group just silently endures slideshow-level performance like battle-hardened veterans. Remember coding on those ancient machines where compiling took so long you could brew coffee, drink it, and still have time for existential dread? That's the 30 FPS crowd - they've seen things, man. Meanwhile, the 100+ FPS folks are like those junior devs who complain when npm install takes more than 10 seconds.

Python Love Haunts Back

C++ Algorithms Programming Python

1 day ago 66.1K views 0 shares

Sure, your 1000 lines of C++ run 100x faster than my 10 lines of Python. But while you were writing those thousand lines, I finished the project, had lunch, refactored twice, and still had time to scroll through Reddit. That torch of performance might look impressive, but the real caveman move is spending three weeks micro-optimizing what could've been done in an afternoon. Speed isn't just about execution time—it's about developer time too.

Developer Said The Map Had O(0) Complexity And A Simple If-Else Would Have O(2) Complexity...

Algorithms Programming Debugging

2 days ago 55.5K views 0 shares

Developer Said The Map Had O(0) Complexity And A Simple If-Else Would Have O(2) Complexity...

Oh, the mythical O(0) complexity! This is like claiming your code runs before you even write it. And O(2)? I guess that's twice as fast as O(1) and half as fast as O(4)? 🤦‍♂️ What we're seeing here is a beautiful map lookup with constant time complexity - that's O(1) for those keeping score at home. Meanwhile, our "complexity expert" is probably the same person who thinks adding more if-statements makes the code run faster because "the computer has more options to choose from." Next week: the same developer discovers the revolutionary O(-1) algorithm that finishes before it starts!

The Worst Trade Deal In Browser History

Webdev Hardware Programming Frontend

3 days ago 89.6K views 0 shares

Ah, the Chrome trade agreement. Google's browser offers you the worst deal in the history of deals, possibly ever. You hand over 9.6GB of precious RAM and get... a single browser tab. Not even a whole browsing experience—just one lonely tab. The memory leak is so bad you could water plants with it. Meanwhile, your computer fans sound like they're preparing for takeoff while you're just trying to check the weather. And yet, here we are, still using it. Stockholm syndrome is real in tech.

5060 Day 1 Benchmarks With No Drivers

Hardware Gamedev Windows

3 days ago 50.0K views 1 shares

The mythical RTX 5060 has achieved the impossible - scoring exactly 0 FPS with no drivers installed! It's like trying to drive a Ferrari without a steering wheel or engine. The graph shows every other GPU flexing their ray-tracing muscles while the 5060 sits at the bottom with a sad little "()" instead of actual numbers. Whoever made this fake benchmark chart forgot that GPUs need, you know, actual software to function. It's basically the hardware equivalent of dividing by zero - mathematically undefined, practically hilarious. Next benchmark: testing how well it performs as an expensive paperweight!

HDDs In A Nutshell

Hardware Windows

4 days ago 54.2K views 0 shares

First comment: "HDDs degrade brutally over time. The easiest way to make a computer feel like new is to get a new SSD." Second comment: "My 60k hours 7200 WD Blue HDD wants a word with you" Third comment: "Let me know when it finds those words." The third comment is pure murder—it's implying the HDD is so slow that it's still searching for the words to say! Even a 7200 RPM Western Digital drive with 60,000 hours of faithful service can't escape the brutal truth: while it's desperately spinning its platters to find a comeback, the SSD gang is already three file transfers ahead. It's like watching your grandpa try to remember a story while the kids have already moved on to TikTok.

Who The Hell Are These Serialization Formats?

Backend Webdev Javascript Programming Databases

5 days ago 65.1K views 0 shares

Who The Hell Are These Serialization Formats?

JSON looking at alternative serialization formats like they're aliens from another dimension is peak developer humor. While JSON has become the undisputed champion of data interchange, these other formats (Protocol Buffers, Thrift, Avro, and Ion) are actually powerful alternatives with better performance and schema validation. But let's be honest - most of us just keep defaulting to JSON because it's everywhere. We'll research these alternatives for that "high-performance microservice architecture," add them to our "things to learn" Trello board, and then immediately go back to JSON.stringify() and call it a day.

The Stages Of Hardware Terror

Hardware Gamedev

5 days ago 45.7K views 0 shares

The escalating terror of computer components at 100% utilization is painfully accurate. GPU and CPU maxed out? Mildly concerning but whatever. Disk at 100%? Now we're entering horror territory. RAM maxed? Pure dread as your system crawls to a halt. But VRM (Voltage Regulator Module) at 100%? That's straight-up "prepare for your hardware funeral" territory. Nothing says "I should have bought a better power supply" like the smell of burning electronics and the sight of your precious gaming rig becoming a very expensive paperweight. The progression from "this is fine" to "call the fire department" has never been more accurately depicted.

Suffering From GPU Success

Hardware Gamedev

5 days ago 96.0K views 0 shares

The ultimate first-world gamer problem: having a rig so powerful you have to deliberately handicap it to prevent thermal meltdown. Nothing says "suffering from success" quite like limiting your frames per second because your GPU is too good at its job. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here trying to squeeze one more year out of graphics cards that sound like jet engines when running Minesweeper.

The Caveman's Performance Flex

C++ Programming Python

6 days ago 62.5K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the classic "my 1000-line C++ monstrosity is faster than your 10-line Python script" flex. Your C++ friend is standing there like a caveman who just discovered fire, proudly waving around their manually managed memory and pointer arithmetic while you're over there with Python like Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory, solving the same problem with elegant simplicity. Sure, their code runs 100x faster... after they spent 100x longer debugging segmentation faults and memory leaks. Meanwhile, you wrote your solution during your coffee break and went back to having an actual life. The real speed was the development time we saved along the way.

I Am Speed (But At What Cost)

C++ Programming Python Debugging

7 days ago 55.6K views 0 shares

Writing 1,000 lines of C++ to save 0.4 seconds compared to 10 lines of Python. That's like building a nuclear reactor to toast bread. Sure, your program runs faster, but you spent three weeks debugging memory leaks while the Python dev went home at 5pm. But hey, those microseconds really matter when you're waiting for the coffee machine anyway.

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