Is It True?

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should . This code is the programming equivalent of naming your twins "Twin1" and "Twin2" then wondering why they need therapy. Using keywords as variable names, declaring const const , setting 5 = 4 , and claiming 2 + 2 === 5 is true? This isn't just cursed code—it's the kind of abomination that makes senior devs wake up in cold sweats. Future maintainers will hunt you down. Not to ask questions, but for revenge.

The stark contrast between how artists and programmers interact is painfully accurate. Artists dance around with false modesty while programmers just openly roast each other's code and nod in agreement. Nothing builds camaraderie in tech quite like mutual acknowledgment that your codebase is a dumpster fire. It's not self-deprecation if it's objectively true. The real programming interview question should be "how comfortable are you with someone calling your life's work 'the worst f***ing code they've ever seen' and you just replying 'yep, sounds about right'?"

Content out of bugfixes LEGOLAS! HOW MANY BUGFIXES DID YOU MAKE ELEVEN! ELEVEN? THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF BUGS OUT THERE! ProarammerHumor.io AND I FIXED ELEVEN OF THEM, YOU'RE WELCOME!

That sweet, sweet vindication when you're falsely accused of breaking production with your commit. Nothing quite like the moment when evidence clears your name and the real culprit is found lurking in someone else's spaghetti code. Meanwhile, the entire dev team already sent you 37 passive-aggressive Slack messages.

Remember when programmers were basically digital demigods who could craft mission-critical code for lunar missions without breaking a sweat? Yeah, me neither. Today's reality is more like staring blankly at a screen, asking ChatGPT to fix our semicolon errors while we're trapped in Vim because apparently that's still a thing in 2024. And let's not forget the classic "fix one bug, spawn three more" - nature's way of keeping us humble. The golden age of programming never existed. We just replaced "I don't know how to do this" with "I don't know how to ask AI to do this for me."

The joke here is a brilliant double entendre about inheritance. The first person mentions inheriting a COBOL codebase last touched by someone's mom in the 90s (literal inheritance), while the reply points out that's not how programming inheritance works (you know, the OOP concept where Child extends Parent, not where your actual parent leaves you legacy code). Nothing says "congratulations on your new job" quite like being handed 30-year-old COBOL that nobody understands anymore. The real inheritance tax is the mental breakdown you'll have trying to figure out why everything is in ALL CAPS and what PERFORM VARYING actually does.