It Will Replace You Not Me

When you run a local AI model but it's having an identity crisis. The DeepSeek model introduces itself as GPT-4, then immediately changes its story to being "DeepSeek R1" in the next message. It's like catching your date using someone else's profile pic, then frantically backpedaling when called out. Trust issues with AI: unlocked.

Remember that stable software career you were planning? Yeah, that's getting brutally stabbed by a perfect storm of layoffs and economic uncertainty while AI hype watches from the doorway with a sinister grin. Meanwhile, your dreams of becoming the next tech rockstar are standing outside, blissfully unaware they're about to be murdered too. The tech industry's version of a slasher film where your career aspirations are the unsuspecting teenagers. Pro tip: Maybe learn to sharpen knives as a backup skill? At least those can't be automated... yet.

The stark reality of today's coding world in one perfect meme. Senior dev finally had enough of watching the junior generate 200 lines of spaghetti code with GitHub Copilot just to print "Hello World". The painful truth is we're raising a generation of devs who can't fizzbuzz their way out of a paper bag without an AI whispering sweet solutions in their ear. And yet... aren't we all just one Stack Overflow outage away from revealing our true incompetence?

Turns out the most advanced AI was just 700 people in a trenchcoat. Builder.ai allegedly sold "AI" that was actually just outsourced developers pretending to be Natasha the chatbot. The classic "artificial" intelligence that's actually just regular intelligence with extra steps. Next revelation: ChatGPT is just a guy named Greg in a basement with really fast typing skills.

Ah yes, the revolutionary AI integration strategy: squirting a tiny bit of machine learning onto a bar of legacy code and calling it "innovation." That soap dispenser is working exactly as intended – technically dispensing something, but completely missing the point. Just like how adding a chatbot that can only say "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" somehow justifies a 20% price increase. Investors impressed, users unimpressed, developers wondering if they should update their resume.

The true superpower of developers isn't writing code—it's surviving vendor hell. While everyone's panicking about AI taking our jobs, they're forgetting the eternal constant of tech: third-party vendors with documentation that's either fantasy fiction or written by someone who never used their own product. Those five desperate emails you sent last week? Still unread. That support ticket from last month? "Under investigation." Meanwhile your PM is wondering why that "simple integration" is taking so long. Good luck replacing us with AI when even humans can't figure out what the hell your API is supposed to do.