The Tech Support Triangle Of Doom

Content One Devloper Army OneDevloperArmy we're looking for a junior developer with the experience of a senior developer for the salary of an intern 10:46 PM 10 Jun 18 i View Tweet activity 44 Retweets 198 Likes

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting(E ALL); ini set ("displayerrors", true); printi'7xml version"1.0" encoding "UTF-8" 7'. "In"):?

Cloudflare's internet-breaking moment brought to you by Rust's famous "safety" features. That innocent .unwrap() call just took down half the web because someone forgot error handling isn't optional even in a "memory-safe" language. Nothing says "enterprise-ready" like a single unhandled error cascading into a global 5xx festival. Somewhere a senior dev is muttering "this is why we can't have nice things" while frantically rolling back to the version that didn't implode when fed 200+ features. Remember kids: unwrap() in production is just panic() with extra steps.

Content G 3 45, 53 7:06 AM hulu Create Your Account 2017 ' Tue, May 2 S May 2017 W 8 T 2 9 T F S 10 11 12 13 14 21 28 15 16 17 18 19 20 22 23 29 30 24 31 25 26 27 CANCEL OK By tapping 'Continue', you are indicating that you have read and agree to the Hulu Terms of Use and Privacy Policy ProgrammerHumor io

Content Them: "Al is going to take over the world and kill us" Meanwhile Al: Obama

Content Nobody: Me: a high schooler after taking 2 months of programming class and joining rprogrammerhumor Programmer You know, I'm something of a made with mematic ProarammerHumor.io myself