The Eternal Project Cemetery

Behold! The MOST REALISTIC tech success story you'll ever see! 🙄 Just learn JavaScript, and BOOM—instant millionaire by 17! Swimming pools! Mansions! All from a $20 book and some if-else statements! Meanwhile, the rest of us are debugging the same error for 6 hours straight and celebrating when our CSS centers a div correctly. The audacity of these LinkedIn fairy tales is the true masterpiece of fiction—more creative than any code I've ever written! Next week: "How I became a trillionaire by copying Stack Overflow answers!"

THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of Opera GX thinking they could just REMOVE a sacred fried egg image from their code! 💅 First they're like "we saved a WHOLE 18kb" as if that's something to brag about in our terabyte era. Then the ENTIRE INTERNET collectively loses its mind and demands justice for the egg that's been secretly lurking in their files since 2019! The fact that a browser had to publicly apologize to an EGG and then ceremoniously restore it to its rightful place is peak software development drama. This is why we can't have nice things... or smaller file sizes apparently!

A perfectly organized system architecture puzzle gets absolutely demolished when "business logic" enters the chat. The developer starts with a clean, modular design where everything fits together beautifully—until the MBA graduate insists on jamming their "brilliant insights" into the middle. Next thing you know, your elegant API is cracking, your data layer is held together with duct tape, and you're taking a bath with a rubber duck trying to explain why their requirements violate the laws of computer science. The duck gets it. The business major never will.

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