The Eternal Project Cemetery

Content vice me smallest number. 3 10 Tell or show how you know the answer:

Content me angry at my code for not doing what i programmed it to do my code doing exactly what i programmed it to do

Someone finally said it. You know your daily standup has devolved into pure performance art when the team spends more time discussing which outdated methodology to pretend they're following than actually shipping code. "Should we do waterfall in 2026?" Sure, right after we finish migrating to COBOL. "Let's use NPC methodology!" Yeah, that tracks—most people in these meetings are just running their dialogue scripts anyway. The brutal truth hits different though. Agile was supposed to free us from endless meetings and documentation. Instead, we got sprint planning, sprint reviews, retrospectives, backlog grooming, daily standups, and quarterly PI planning sessions where we discuss how agile we are. The real product isn't software anymore—it's generating enough agile theater to justify the Jira subscription. Meanwhile, the actual code gets written in the 2 hours between meetings when everyone's status is set to "Do Not Disturb" and Slack notifications are muted.

Content Thread e Computer programming Kat Maddox ctrishifti me: why isn't this working? normal languages: you screwed up over here me: oh thanks me: why isn't this working? javascript: me: please i'm begging you javascript: E 9:40 AM Aug 18, 2020 Twitter Web App 350 Retweets and comments 2.1K Likes

The code comment redundancy epidemic has reached street signs! Just like that sign helpfully pointing out "THIS IS A STOP SIGN" under an actual stop sign, junior devs have a special talent for writing comments that state the painfully obvious: // This function adds two numbers function add(a, b) {   return a + b; // Returns the sum } Senior devs scrolling through that code base are experiencing physical pain right now. Remember folks: good comments explain why , not what . Unless you're documenting an API, in which case... carry on with your obvious statements!

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