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Left guy's in denial about AI coding tools while right guy's already seen the git blame logs from the future. The eternal cycle continues: new tech emerges, developers panic, then end up maintaining the mess it creates. The only constant in programming is cleaning up after the latest "revolutionary" tool. Just wait until we're all writing prompts to fix the prompts that fixed the code that broke the system.

Nothing says "we've tried everything except paying you more" quite like hiring cheerleaders to boost morale. Because clearly what fixes a broken codebase at 2AM isn't a living wage or reasonable deadlines—it's someone in cat ears saying "You can do it!" while you contemplate if your soul belongs to Git now. Next innovation: motivational clowns who honk every time your build fails! Silicon Valley taking notes right now...

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Content Developer: ( leaving office on time) Project manager: "We don't do that here"

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