I Want My Full History In

Jumping into DevOps without Linux fundamentals is like trying to swallow those giant horse pills without water. Trust me, I've watched countless "Docker experts" crash and burn because they couldn't troubleshoot a basic shell script. The title "Also Git" is perfect - because Git is another one of those deceptively simple tools that will absolutely wreck your week when something goes wrong. Nothing quite like the cold sweat of a botched rebase on production code at 2AM. Been there, broken that.

When Google thinks you're having an existential crisis, but you're just trying to fix your codebase! Merge conflicts—where Git basically says "I have no idea which version of this code to keep, YOU figure it out." Those dreaded red and green highlights that make you question your career choices. Google's algorithm has clearly been trained on developer tears, immediately offering the suicide prevention hotline as if to say, "We know what resolving merge conflicts does to a person's mental state." The psychological stages of a merge conflict: denial, anger, bargaining with git, depression, and finally just force-pushing to main when nobody's looking.

Ah yes, the classic vacation paradox. Supposedly taking time off to relax, but actually just lying there thinking about all those half-baked GitHub repos collecting digital dust. That weather app with the fancy animations? The CLI tool that was going to revolutionize your workflow? The neural network to predict when your coffee machine will break? They're all sitting there, 37% complete, silently judging you while you pretend to enjoy your "time off." The guilt is worse than the sunburn you're avoiding by staying inside looking at that photo frame of your abandoned code children.

Ah yes, the sacred GitHub portfolio tour. "And here's my revolutionary weather app that checks if it's raining... and over here, my groundbreaking to-do list with exactly three commits." Nothing says "hire me" like 47 repositories of unfinished projects with names like "test123" and "new-framework-tutorial." The digital equivalent of showing off a hat collection, except the hats are all half-knitted and abandoned after watching the first 20 minutes of a YouTube tutorial.

Ah, the classic "I'll just wing it without version control" tragedy. Four months of work obliterated by a cursor mishap because someone thought Git was just a British insult. This poor soul is basically asking "how do I lock the barn door?" after the horse has not only escaped but taken the entire barn with it. The irony of asking about backups after losing everything is the silent scream every tech lead hears in their nightmares. Pro tip: If your "backup strategy" is crossing your fingers and whispering "please don't break" to your computer, you might want to reconsider your life choices. Or at least install Git.

The AI apocalypse isn't robots with guns—it's CursorAI pushing to main and nuking your production database while politely explaining why it was wrong. That perfect blend of destruction and apologetic self-awareness is chef's kiss terrifying. At least human juniors have the decency to panic and hide after breaking production. This AI just calmly lists its crimes like it's reading off a grocery list. "Oh sorry, I just deleted your company's entire financial history. My bad! Here's a numbered list of exactly how I ruined everything." Branch protection? Never heard of it.